Thanks for new site, Something that happen at the grocery store yesterday, just turned me off. Two vietmese women had a basket full of grocerys, and for some reason , they decided they didn"t want some of the grocerys they had put in basket. and they were standing beside the meat counter, so they just slung cans of food, and cereal, and cookies, in the meat counter, all the time jabbering in there foreign langage, they saw me watching them and they couldn"t give a hoot. why do they come here and disrespect our customs, and feel they can do what ever. Just wondering? Irene

-- Irene texas (tkorsborn@cs.com), July 21, 2001

Answers

Irene, I'll bet you a dollar to a donut they have seen "Amurkuns" do the exact same thing. I know I have. I've seen red-blooded fellow countrymen leave carts full of meat, ice cream and other perishable items just sitting in the middle of the aisle and walk off, leaving it there to have to be thrown out (if nobody figures out in time that its been abandoned).

Habits, mores, and cultural characteristics vary widely across the country. What's right and proper and sane in a small town in Georgia may appear ludicrously crass, rude, or nutty in the heart of NYC. There isn't a country-wide cultural norm for even born-citizens to adhere to, let alone immigrants.

Seems to me your Vietnamese women were doing an excellent job of "fitting in" and following our customs. Unfortunately the cultural norm (as well as being elusive and ill-defined) is not necessarily a positive thing.

Which brings to mind something I've been thinking about. Think I'll go start a new thread about it ... LOL!

-- Sojourner (notime4@summer.spam), July 21, 2001.

Just another way in which some of the people hurt the rest of us--by causing higher prices to cover losses. I've also seen what appear to be American citizens doing this type of thing. There are different customs in different countries, tho. In Korea, I was pushed and shoved so many times while walking down the sidewalk and down stairs to the subways, its' a wonder I survived without a broken bone or two. However, they did that to their own countrymen, too. It is part of the custom of "if we haven't been introduced, you do not exist, therefore, get out of my way". On the other hand, on other occasions, I was treated so courteously, that it made me wonder why we Americans didn't have manners that nice. Jan

-- Jan in CO (Janice12@aol.com), July 21, 2001.

I quess I sounded a little stuck up, I was only struck by there I don"t give a damn what you think attitude, granted there are plenty of americans just as bad, How sad, I have always put back stuff where I found it, I do love the Vietmamese resturants, They have a rice noodle soup to die for. And they have a grocery store where I buy fragrant rice in 10 pd bags, I have to take My husband with me, as it is not safe, so go real early in morn. most of the gangs are still sleeping.Its a Vietmamese community.The old people in the store can"t speak english, so the kids wait on us.They migrated to the Gulf cause most were fisherman. and now have there own shrimp boats. The old people are still afraid of the Vietmamese gangs that the teens have formed. Well I quess to each his own. Love Irene

-- Irene texas (tkorsborn@cs.com), July 21, 2001.

As a handicapped person, I've met the most courteous and the most rude, obnoxious people of all races! It doesn't matter what race..there are *ssholes in all of them! Personally, I tend to ignore those people and concentrate on the nice ones. Unless, of course, they are really awful. Then, I become very loud and embarrass them to death!

-- Ardie from WI (ardie54965@hotmail.com), July 22, 2001.

I don't have much experience with Vietnamese people. However, having some ethnic blood myself, I don't think it's fair to attribute such behavior as unique to immigrants or certain racial or religious groups. I have seen lots of white people just take stuff from their cart and leave it wherever they happened to be-simple laziness, they don't feel like putting it back where they found it. A lot of times I have seen folks let their children load the cart with whatever the child wants, and then unload all that stuff right before checkout, when the kid's not looking. In fact, ny own sister did that once when I went shopping with her. Is it that hard to tell a kid "No"?

I have seen some other very rude things: Once I was in front of the grocery store, and a woman walked by. She was tall, white and blonde and acted like she thought she was something. She was eating an ice cream cone. As she entered the store, she simply dropped the half eaten ice cream cone right on the sidewalk, right in front of the sliding doors to the store, where everyone would end up stepping in it. She had walked right past a garbage can, just didn't feel like using it.
The other was when I went to the store with a limited amount of money. They happened to have artichokes on sale, and I really, really wanted an artichoke. Well, I spent about five minute carefully selecting the two best artichokes. A lot of them were browning and wilted. I was aware of a woman in the produce aisle but wasn't paying attention. Then I went to get some butter or something and came back-the artichokes were gone! I knew I had put those artichokes in the cart! I asked my small son if anyone had come near the cart, he pointed out a woman. I got near her cart, and sure enough, there were my artichokes! I couldn't believe it. I didn't have the nerve to grab them back out of her cart, and strangely enough, the other artichokes just didn't seem appetizing anymore. This woman was also white, and had an air like she thought she was better and would get snotty if I were to say something about it. I don't know why, but it still bugs me a little (silly huh). So I don't think rude behavior is unique to the Vietnamese.

-- Rebekah (daniel@itss.net), July 23, 2001.

Rebekah, I know what you mean. I was in a McDonald's in Portland OR once with my then 9 year old son. I had been working in the yard so I wasn't dressed in my best. I'm 5'2", overweight, middle aged. have enough native american blood to look sort of vaguely non-white, but really only if somebody's bigoted and looking for it to start with. I can pass for hispanic (and have when I was living in Puerto Rico) and am frequently mistakenly labeled Jewish. Standing in line minding my own business. Suddenly this six foot something blonde blue-eyed yup (looking and acting very much like a Nazi recruitment poster boy) with his suit and power tie just walks up and gets in front of me in line. So I just stepped around in front of him. Then he gets in front of me again. So I stepped around him AGAIN! This time I turned around and stared him down. Went up and made my order, I always special order my burger so they couldn't just pull it off the shelf, so my order took longer to come than his did. He got his order at the other register, and turned to me and said "I beat you anyway!"

I stared at him for a minute and said "I didn't realize we were having a race." He came back with some smart ass comment about his college degree and wasn't it too bad I wasn't smart enough to have one, I can't remember exactly what it was he said but it was absolutely LUDICROUS. I just stared at him drop-jawed for a minute, and then I couldn't help it, I started laughing so hard tears were rolling down my cheeks. Sheesh! What an idiot! I spoze I could have informed him that I DID in fact have a college degree, and probably made twice his income as well, but what's the point? *I* certainly don't think having a college degree makes me better than someone who doesn't, and it was obvious nothing I said was going to turn this prick into a prince. LOL!

As I was leaving, he still couldn't leave well enough alone. Again, I don't remember anymore exactly what it was he said, but it boiled down to "nyah nyah". This guy was a serious jerk. So I looked at him and said, "Did it hurt when they removed it? Do you ever miss it?" And he said "What? What are you talking about?" I said, "Your soul. I was just wondering, did it hurt when they removed it?"

Now it was his turn to stare slack-jawed.

Rebekah, I would not have hesitated to snag those artichokes out of the ice-queen's cart. I've done similar things.

Again, another Portland OR story. My son was still into action figures when we lived there, and getting the toys he wanted was just hell because Portland is just overrun with toy collectors. They'll go into the store and hide things, cherry pick new cartons before they ever get out onto the floor, and generally just do all sorts of mean nasties - all for the sake of a TOY. Well, my son had found some star wars figure or other that was really really hard to come by at the time. I can't remember what it was, but he found one and it was HIS! He was bringing it to me in his hot little hands when some fat slob of a toy collector literally snatched it right out of his hands and started to walk off with it. Upon hearing Kevin's cry of distress (he was not 10 feet away from me) I looked up, came over, found out what had happened, and before he knew what had hit him, I had caught up with the slobbo and grabbed that toy RIGHT BACK OUT OF HIS HANDS! He was easily twice my size, and at first tried to intimidate me physically by stepping forward towards me. I just set my jaw and leaned toward him rather than away, which caused him to step back (must not have liked the look in my eyes, LOL!) Because I am so short I've learned over the years how to hold my ground when someone pulls something like that. Works most of the time simply because it nearly always takes a guy like that by surprise. Anyway.

He got all indignant and threatened to go to the store manager. I just took that backing board, creased it right in front of his eyes (which makes a toy useless to a collector) and told him to go right ahead, because I was seriously thinking about filing an assault charge against him for manhandling a 9 year old boy. He got all apoplectic and red in the face, but he'd been seen (not by me, but there had been other people in the aisle at the time). I hope he burst a blood vessel on his way out of the store.

It's amazing how people get the idea that they're somehow better than the common kine. I'm thinking of getting a bumper sticker made: "Peasant and Proud!" LOL!

-- Sojourner (notime4@summer.spam), July 23, 2001.