I'm baaaaaaaack.

Hope all youz guyz are well. So wha'd I miss?

-- Rob Michaels (thesonofdust@yahoo.com), August 03, 2001

Answers

YAY!!!! You're back!!! Tell stories!!!

-- helen (you@missed.mitch.and.larry), August 03, 2001.

Welcome back, oh great and leerless feeder :-)

You haven't missed much... although Helen's been entertaining us in your absence with more stories from the farmyard. And I whined and whimpered about the very long weekend I had on the First of July (the Canadian 'independence day' :-) We had a couple of new folk making noises (that's what Helen's e addy refers to). Gayla's been having a long wait with her son. Lon and I went to weddings.... that sorta thing. What's up with you?? Is fishing season over? ;-)

-- Tricia the Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.net), August 03, 2001.

Hi Tricia. I fish all year long, whenever I can. In the winter I ice fish too. Marie thinks I'm nuts (but then you know that already :- )

So Helen's been writin' in my abstinence huh? I'll have to check that out. I'm sure it was really good! I'll poke around tomorrow and read up on things.

Speaking of writin', if you all want more punishment from me that's fine. I have some more time finally. And any ideas for the next sequel would be welcome.

Good to be back home! Long Live the FRL!!!!!

-- (thesonofdust@back.home), August 03, 2001.

A new story?!?

Yippeeeeeee!!!

We never did find out what became of DIetEr when the aliens first abducted Lon the clown...

-- Tricia the Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.net), August 03, 2001.

Rob, in your absenthes these shemales tried to make us think that they were in charge. I stepped in late and saw the problem and its been an up hill battle since. They actually dared alter my posts, knowing that I have an unkel in law who knows some one on the puter police. It is obevious that any stupid story will pasafie these shemales so I am preparring one without mule breath or bra sizes being mentioned, and if they behave I will reward them with a good story, knowing how easlie the barefoot and pregant set can be amused (I never promised you a spelling lession).....

-- mitch hearn (moopups1@aol.com), August 03, 2001.

Yay! Mitch is gonna tell us a story!

-- helen (bearfoot@and.chiggers), August 04, 2001.

Sweet Princess: dIeTer and Lon the Clown huh? Hmmm, we'll have to check with the master himself - maybe there'll be another collaborative effort.

Mitch: Greetings, newest fellow FRLian, and welcome. It is oblivious that you are a perfectly good writer and so we will wait with anticipation for your story. That'll give me some time to ketchup on all the goings on I messed.

-- (thesonofdust@catching.up), August 04, 2001.

I am moving my motorcoach today so I will not have a phoneline for a few days. Please see if you can keep these shecritters in line til I get back.

-- mitch hearn (moopups1@aol.com), August 04, 2001.

(((((Rob))))) Welcome back!!!!! I just got home from a family reunion in Oklahoma. It's good to see you posting again. Looking forward to stories, haikus or ANY thing you want to post. :-)

-- Gayla (privacy@please.com), August 06, 2001.

Gayla, Gayla, Gayla :-) I'll be popping in more often and am up for doing a story (don't yet know about what though). Tricia mentioned DiEtEr and the Clown so maybe if Lon stops in and has some time we could do a collaboration for it. And our newest FRLian (mitch) seems interested in writing too. Guess we'll do what we're all so good at; wait and see.

Anywho, it's good to be back!

Hey Tricia, ain't you due for another birthday? What's it been - four, five months already?

-- (thesonofdust@hi.Gayla), August 06, 2001.

Tricia, if you're gonna have another birthday, could you arrange to have it while I'm there? ;-) I love it when they sing Happy Birthday in a restaurant and embarrass you in front of everyone. LOL

-- Gayla (privacy@please.com), August 07, 2001.

I wanna be there too! After all, how many folks get younger with each birthday. I know that Good Sir Cook and S.O.B. explained how it all works but I never did get it. duh.

Uh, Gayla, well, will there be drinks at this here party? I never touch the stuff myself you understand (just wonderin is all :)

-- (thesonofdust@math.challenged), August 07, 2001.

Embarred by the waitors standing around them in a crowd singing?

It's more fun to see them standing on a chair, waving a towel over their heads as THEY embarress themselves while the waitors encourage the rest of the crowd to sing ......

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Marietta, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), August 08, 2001.

Rob, of course you can come! I'm sure the Canadians have drinks you can just admire. ;-)

Robert, if I get Tricia to stand on a chair and wave a flag over her head, I'll be sure and take pictures! LOL

-- Gayla (privacy@please.com), August 08, 2001.

Robert: Do they stand on the chair with both legs and wave both arms, or do they stand with the right leg and wave with the left arm, unless they are right-handed in which case they they might stand with the wrong leg and wave with the wrong arm and posibly fall off the chair and get hurt, especially if they were drinking. None of us want to see Tricia get hurt! This is important! Please describe the correct technique in your usual clear and straightjacketed manner.

Thanks Gayla. I'm thinking we should start planing a nice birthday party for her, with limericks :-) Remember the FRLian party we had that time that crashed Ol' Git's (and others) puters when they tried loading the thread - guess we may have been just a bit too wild then. Maybe we'll need DieTeR's cannon net in case she falls off that there chair.

-- (thesonofdust@party.chairs), August 08, 2001.

Lettuce assume that the ever-more lovely and younger birthday girl is actually present and wearing at least a proper birthday suit.

Furhter, lettuce assume that the said girl is suitably stable (and thus not falling over) while wearing said birthday suite.....this would, I assume, require that she is standing upon the chair upon her legs rightly, and not just standing upon the wrong legs.

Or somebody else's legs.

Or standing wrongly upon somebody else's rightly legs.

Or standing upon the chair's left-over legs, after they've been wrong sat upon in the right direction.

This would, I believe, leave her hands free to wave the towel over (not under) her head, as she sings.

Now, that leaves us the question of what happens to the left-over leaves (since fall approaches - and we are assuming that the table leaves are not falling.....) and which direction is the wrong way to wave the towel.

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Marietta, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), August 09, 2001.

Sir Cook: Thank you for that very clear answer. I feel sure that Tricia will be able to follow that and be perfectly safe. Now as to the direction for waving the towel, I have thought about this a great deal and have come to the delusion that the towel must be waved with only one hand in a swinging motion over the head. That would leave the other hand free to drink with. And in the unlikely event of a sudden loss of altitude, the free hand can be used to facilitate a more graceful exit, grasping the table leaves before leaving. Sound reasonable?

-- (thesonofdust@towel.waving), August 09, 2001.

In my engineering opinion, and I'm not qualified by anything other than having fallen many times, Tricia will require cross-support from an frlian on each leg. However, no one wants a cross support at a party, but then again a happy support might let go to make a toast with disasterous results. So maybe she should be suspended from the ceiling but not from the game.

-- helen (took@pe.in.school), August 09, 2001.

Wow Helen, what a great idea. Ok, we'll suspend Tricia from the ceiling and use my clown car safety net (just in case). I'm sure she'll really enjoy that! Now, about that there towel, she won't be able to just use one hand to wave it since it'll just get caught on the suspension cable... so she'll have to swing it around and keep switching it from hand to hand so as not to get tangled. That means she'll have to drink before going up. Either that, or someone can drill a hole in the ceiling and she can just look up when she gets thirsty and we can pour it down that way. The advantage of this method is she can sing to us while swinging around in the birthday suit between drinks!

I can't wait until she gets back and sees all the fine plans we've made for her birthday party. This is getting better and better. There's nothing like good planning!

-- (thesonofdust@wait'll.triciagetsback:-)), August 09, 2001.

That would definitely resolve one issue that has not come up yet....or rather, one issue won't go back donw yet.

See, if the lovely and talented up-side-down Tricia is suspended from the ceiling in her lovely and talented suitable birthday suite swinging the towel around her head, then we won't have to worry about her dress falling down around her chair, possibly (the horrors) tripping her from the falling leaves.

...... It will be falling up around her knees .... and thus won't be any distraction at all.

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Marietta, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), August 09, 2001.

Tricia, I am definitely bringing my camera! LOL

Anybody else want to join us in Banff? (Except MITCH of course!) ;-)

-- Gayla (privacy@please.com), August 09, 2001.

Would it automate things (the waving that is) if we attached the lovely birthsuited Tricia to the ceiling fan?

Or would that be distracting to the other customers?

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Marietta, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), August 09, 2001.

Gayla: Yeah, we gotta have a camera ready for this one. How's 'bout one of them there new digital ones, so's we can post the pics here for all FRLians to enjoy... for the hysterical records.

Sir Cook: A ceiling fan? Hmmm... that could be a might more comfortable than being suspended from a cable, and we could even duck tape her drinks to one of the blades of the fan and avoid drilling holes in the ceiling. Naturally, she would have to swing the towel with her feet instead of her hands... and she could still sing!

Uh, does anyone know if Tricia is right or left footed?

-- (thesonofdust@duct.tape), August 09, 2001.

Rob, pictures of what you're describing really WOULD be hysterical. LOL! I don't have a digital camera, maybe Tricia does. We did get a scanner, though. Not sure I want to post a picture here (Mitch likes to GAWK, you know) but maybe I could email you one?

And yes, Robert, I think it would be just a WEE bit distracting to the other guests. ;-)

-- Gayla (privacy@please.com), August 09, 2001.

Since this thread is also upside down.....is the lovely Miss tricia going to duck-taped right-side up from the ceiling fan on the other side of the room?

Or the other side of the floor?

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Marietta, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), August 09, 2001.

Wow! Did I fall asleep and wake up in OZ? ;-)

What's up, er upside down with this forum?

-- Gayla (privacy@please.com), August 09, 2001.

Are WE going to Banff?

-- helen (huh@what.now), August 09, 2001.

I wonder if Phil is modifying his software again! Well, if ever there was a thread that should be upside down, this is it!

Helen: I think we are all going, yes.

Um Gayla, just exactly where is Banff?

-- (thesonofdust@upside.down), August 09, 2001.

Banff is an hour west of Calgary, (Alberta) Canada. As in, north of Idaho. As in, Canadian Rockies. As in, GORGEOUS! :-)

-- Gayla (privacy@please.com), August 09, 2001.

Sounds like a road trip is in order then. Anyone hear from A&L lately? They aren't that far from there (compared to where kritter and I live)... speaking of kritter, where's she?

I like being upside down! Maybe this is Phil's way of wishing Tricia a Happy Birthday!

-- (thesonofdust@road.trip), August 09, 2001.

Ohhhh, Gayla. One small problem.

If we're supposed to meet in Braniff, and if Braniff is an hour west of Calgary .....

Then, don't we need a mine shaft or something? Seems like poor Tricia would be hanging from the airplane's ceiling fan upside down underground if she were an west of Calgary.

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Marietta, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), August 10, 2001.

LOL, Robert! You're showing your age with that one! Do you remember their slogan? Remember when Continental's was "We really move our tail for you?" (I had a few customers remind me of it while I worked there. I'm glad they had changed it by then!)

Rob, it really WOULD be neat if you or any of the others could make it to Banff. :-) Ashton and Leska post sometimes on the Timebomb forum. Here is a link if you want to take a look around. Forum

-- Gayla (privacy@please.com), August 10, 2001.

Okay -----

But if Tricia only going to sing very, very quietly while duck-taped to the ceiling fan, she could use a mime shaft to get to the party.

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Marietta, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), August 10, 2001.

Because a branf-new mime shaft is a terrible thing to waist.

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Marietta, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), August 10, 2001.

Thanks Gayla, I haven't been over to Timebomb in a really long time. It's good to know that they are still around and posting. And I see that we are all back to being right-side up again.

Good Sir Robert of Cook: I wanted to duck-tape Tricia's drinks to the fan, not Tricia herself!!!! Uh, but that idea does actually have some merit. Can you calculate, with your injuneering skills, just how many rolls of duck-tape we would need to accomplish this feet. If we can't do the feet, how about just the arms?

-- (sonofdust@rightside.up), August 10, 2001.

Hmmmmmn.

Some thought will be required. perhaps a vote or two.

(Query: Does Tricia get a vote in all this, or willit be a surprise birthday-suited party?)

Lettuce see:

We either have Tricia right-side standing on the chair under the ceiling fan, or upside-down duck-taped to the ceiling fan.

If duck-taped to the ceiling fan ... is the loverly Miss Tricia attached one (if by land) or two (if by sea)?

... Ooops. Got distracted there: Is she attached by hand or by foot?

(Cubic metric zirconiums, actually. They are in the metric system up there, and don't know what a foot is. Gotta hand it to 'em by the way, its a problem since they can't even put a [Fore Sail] out in the front yard .... since they don't have those either.)

If the loverly Miss Tricia is not attached to the Braniff ceiling fan, then this leaves the ceiling fan available to attach either the towel, or the beers (or both) to one or more parts of the ceiling fan .....

But which way should the fan rotate ....

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Marietta, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), August 10, 2001.

Which way should the fan rotate?

Ahhhh, now we come to the crux of the matter. Since Tricia is closer than we are to the North Pole, we must consider the greater affects of magnetism. IF the fan rotates clockwise or counter-clockwise, then we can say with some certainty that it is not a digital clock and therefore would not be affected by any radiating electromagnetic pulse emanating from the stealth geese gaggles (which would be closer to the cieling fan).

But if it is a non-digital clock, we are back to the clockwise/counter-clockwise rotation. I'm no injuneer but I would have to guess that the g-force strain on the duck-tape would be different depending on the rotation. So I vote for whatever will be the least strain, since it is our Dear and Loyal Tricia up there on the fan in her birthday suite singing and drinking and generally making merry. (hope this helps)

-- (thesonofdust@counter.clokwise), August 10, 2001.

Ooohhhh, now I'm soooooooo confused!

And dizzy, too.

As to which way the fan turns... I just want it to miss what that gaggle of stealth geese are apt to drop.

And another birthday??? I get to have 1/2 year birthdays too? hmm, no, that would be in May... it must be 2/3 year birthdays. It's a good thing I signed up for that all the birthdays you can live and always stay 34 thing that SOBob's good fairy offered us women. (See, Mitch, there are other benefits to being a woman on this board :-)

I'm glad to see you're all having fun at this here surprise birthday suit party, I'm just sorry I was so late dropping in

-- Tricia the Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.net), August 11, 2001.

Happy 2/3 Birthday Tricia! (and thanks for being such a good sport :-)

But now, if you're 34, shouldn't this be a 3/4 Birthday, or will that be next month?

-- (thesonofdust@two.thirds), August 11, 2001.

We missed her half-birthday in May!

-- helen (missed@party.there), August 11, 2001.