if i were a stone, i would be petosky.
if i were a tree, i would be a weeping willow.
if i were a bird, i would be a crow.
if i were a song, i would be "bohemian rhapsody".
if i were an insect, i would be a lightening bug.
if i were a machine, i would be a forklift.
if i were a tool, i would be an allen wrench.
if i were a fruit, i would be a prickley pear.
if i were a flower, i would be a black hollyhock.
if i were a kind of weather, i would be a thunder storm.
if i were a mythical creature, i would be a unicorn.
if i were a musical instrument, i would be a harp.
if i were a book, i would be "an anthropologist on mars".
if i were a kind of profession, i would be a philosopher.
if i were an animal, i would be a cat.
if i were anything in the world, i would be someone's favorite pen.
if i were a color, i would be a deep, dark purple.
if i were a fragrance, i would be patchouli.
if i were a vehicle, i would be a subaru outback.
if i were a dog, i would be a saluki.
if i were a movie, i would be "foxfire" (the new version, not the shitty hallmark one).
if i were an emotion, i would be curiosity.
if i were a state or feeling, i would be indecision.
if i were a vegetable, i would be spinach.
if i were a sound, i would be rain on a nylon tent.
if i were a drink, i would be a purple people eater.
if i were an element, i would be fire.

-- emily (emilymarguerite@yahoo.com), August 03, 2001

Answers

• Molten lava
• Always standing, awaiting the lightning
• Eagle
• AFFECTION by Keiji Haino
• A beetle ready for a woman to tread on me with sexy boots
• Jackhammer
• Swiss Army Knife
• Grape
• Shrinking violet
• Tiny little man
• Microphone
• Finnegans Wake
• Law
• Tiger
• Some sexy woman's shoes
• Black
• Vanilla
• Lamborghini Countach
• Japanese Akita
• King Kong
• Despair
• Crippling Fear
• Celery
• A scream heard so close that it would split into chaotic shards, like watching a television with your face pressed against its glass
• Coke
• The Aether

-- Jagannatha (jagannatha@stoned.com), August 10, 2001.

00PS - I missed out weather:

• lightning and BASSHEAVY thunder

-- Jagannatha (jagannatha@stoned.com), August 10, 2001.

if i were a stone, i would be geode
if i were a tree, i would be a weeping willow
if i were a bird, i would be a sparrow
if i were a song, i would be "turn off the light"
if i were an insect, i would be a rolley polley :)
if i were a machine, i would be a typewriter
if i were a tool, i would be a hammer
if i were a fruit, i would be a kiwi
if i were a flower, i would be a datura [moon flower]
if i were a kind of weather, i would be pouring rain
if i were a mythical creature, i would be Persephone
if i were a musical instrument, i would be a piano
if i were a book, i would be "the girls' guide to hunting and fishing"
if i were a kind of profession, i would be a philosopher
if i were an animal, i would be a penguin
if i were anything in the world, i would be a maze
if i were a color, i would be a dark red
if i were a fragrance, i would be pine
if i were a vehicle, i would be a van of some kind
if i were a dog, i would be a chow
if i were a movie, i would be "girl, interrupted" [maybe]
if i were an emotion, i would be sadness
if i were a state or feeling, i would be ambivalence
if i were a vegetable, i would be celery
if i were a sound, i would be the tick-tock of a clock
if i were a drink, i would be a grape juice [i don't really know as far as alcoholic drinks go]
if i were an element, i would be air

-- Jen (Jen@echoside.net), August 10, 2001.