I was never a huge karaoke girl. In fact, I've never been to a karaoke place in Atlanta, ever. This, however, changed my mind: MARY-OKE: Overhearing a bartender say, "I sure hope the Pat Benatar guy comes in" is a strong indicator that you're in the right place for karaoke. Despite being a gay bar, Tuesday night karaoke at Mary's in East Atlanta attracts a diverse crowd. Mary's karaoke master, known simply as CJ the DJ, is a diminutive man with a fantastic mustache and an abiding love for Diana Ross. He performs approximately every sixth song himself, usually a Diana Ross song, although he started off last Tuesday with Michael Jackson's "Ben." For those who don't remember, it's a tender ballad about a rat.

Urged on by the DJ, who solicits applause for each performer with, "Y'all, give him the clap," the crowd is very nurturing. During my performance of Air Supply's "All Out of Love," an audience member named Paul joined me at the mic, dazzling the crowd with his seemingly unrehearsed, yet perfect performance of the song's high harmony parts. Afterward, he confessed that he and his boyfriend have a karaoke machine at home that they use quite frequently and that he knows most of Air Supply's hits by heart. That might be cheating, but he made us both look good, so I won't complain. I plan on paying a visit to CJ soon. Share your karaoke experiences:

-- Anonymous, August 13, 2001

Answers

For a long time, I wouldn't hace gone up to sing on a bet. But I finally went in Vegas and it was tremendous fun, even if I suck.

And Weird Al's Eat It is a very underrated karaoke song.

-- Anonymous, August 13, 2001

My roommates & I were a huge hit at our old residence hall's midwinter karaoke party with our flawless rendition of NSYNC's "Bye Bye Bye." We even did the little dance that goes with it, to the best of our uncoordinated ability. I'm such a karaoke whore that I almost have to be restrained from karaoke-ing on a daily basis.

-- Anonymous, August 13, 2001

Last winter, BuffyFan took a high school friend of hers and me to some little Roswell bar with karaoke. They had nothing. Nothing! Which turned out to be okay, as my karaoke debut song ended up being "Don't It Make My Brown Eyes Blue." But I would've preferred "Walking on Sunshine," still.

-- Anonymous, August 13, 2001

My standard is "My Guy", but the word guy is always replaced with "beer".

My greatest live performance (heh) was of Joan Osbourne's "Right Hand Man" one late drunk night. No one knew I could get my voice so husky and sexy. I had just switched to Camel regulars.

-- Anonymous, August 13, 2001

I've done Karoake once. That is to say I've been at Karoake a lot but only sang once.

In Las Vegas. At Tong's Palace. My friend Eric and I did "500 Miles".

It was the only way the rest of the group would let us leave to go play blackjack.

Those there can attest to it's greatness.

-- Anonymous, August 13, 2001

I have to say, it was pretty great ...

-- Anonymous, August 13, 2001

I've taken to the karaoke stage once - in Berlin, of all places. We were in a bar next to a squat-cum-art-installation in Mitte, and my friends dared me to perform. So I did 'Always On My Mind'. It was v. odd, but the announcer caled me 'die kleine Dame mit der Engel- stimme', which was pretty cool.

But the best karaoke experience involved not me, but my friends. We were in Nashville, and we'd just been to see Bob Dylan play a festival by the river, and were all feeling a bit wired, if exhausted. So we found this insane little karaoke bar, which was hosted by a flamboyant woman who was assisted by a very chubby young boy, aged about nine or ten, presumably her son. I was tempted to go on, but was too knackered. However, my boyfriend lost no time in taking to the stage and performing a rousing version of 'Rhinestone Cowboy' which, because he's a pretty good singer and well used to giving it loads on stage, went down extremely well with the crowd, as did my friend Paul's rendition of 'I've Got You Under My Skin' (complete with impromptu dance).

That was weird enough, but weirder was to come when the aforementioned chunky child took to the stage, donned a huge blonde wig and a small army hat, and treated the crow to a very special version of Destiny's Child's 'Bills Bills Bills'. It was, without a doubt, the weirdest thing I've ever seen. Seriously, I can't do it justice.

-- Anonymous, August 13, 2001

I'm pretty fond of "Harper Valley PTA" or "Mr. Big Stuff." I've been practicing "Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend," too. Maybe I'll do that at the Dive Bar Thursday for my farewell to the dive bar.

Although Allison gets frustrated with me. "Why do you always do OLLLLLLLD songs??"

-- Anonymous, August 14, 2001

I am a karaoke whore. Anyone who knows me knows it.

I haven't done it in awhile though, which is shocking.

I think my favorite "performance" (hahaahaha) was at the Cat's Meow in New Orleans during Mardi Gras '99. I sang "I Think We're Alone Now" and kicked ass.

Although, when AB and I sang NKOTB angels cried. It was that good.

T - I think you'll be taking me to Mary-oke. Oh yes, I do.

-- Anonymous, August 14, 2001

God. I never want to do it again. However, I will definitely go see CJ The DJ, just to hear him sing "Ben."

-- Anonymous, August 14, 2001

That's the thing: I never would have gone to karaoke, but how can any mortal resist CJ the DJ??

-- Anonymous, August 14, 2001

Yet y'all both have been resisting him for months! All that is about to change ladies. All of that is about to change.

-- Anonymous, April 18, 2002

"I'm pretty fond of "Harper Valley PTA" or "Mr. Big Stuff." I've been practicing "Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend," too. Maybe I'll do that at the Dive Bar Thursday for my farewell to the dive bar."

Hannah - Please tell me that this is Dive Bar on the Upper West Side of NY - one of my all time favorite drinking establishments.

-- Anonymous, April 19, 2002

"Ode to Billy Joe" is my new favorite karaoke song. Although, if Naked Hannah ever comes to town, we may have to do a duet of "Ballad of the Green Berets."

-- Anonymous, April 19, 2002

I have only made one attempt at karaoke, and it was a drunken one. Years ago, I was in Rehobeth Beach, Delaware with a bunch of friends and none of us had ever done karaoke. We were in this bar where, apparently, karaoke was taken very seriously. (read: one after another country song or hair-band ballad) Well, we decided, in our drunken stupor to give it a whirl. However, the alcohol content in our systems led us to a really bad decision...to sing the world's (seemingly) longest song..."Paradise By the Dashboard Light". Not only did they finally physically remove us from the stage, they shit- canned us from the bar all together. Apparently, they didn't appreciate our raw talent.

-- Anonymous, April 19, 2002

Paradise By the Dashboard Light

See, that's just not right because that is the BEST karaoke song ever. I LOVE doing that song. Mostly because I like screeching: "Stop right there!"

-- Anonymous, April 19, 2002

I was in an on-line karaoke contest once. That went badly.

I've sang at Karaoke twice now, and learned my lesson the last time. I find that after a few beers, I think I know words to songs that really, I just know the chorus of. Not to mention I can't hit a note.

I'd much rather sit at Fong's and watch y'all rock it out.

-- Anonymous, April 19, 2002

Don't get me wrong, Hannah, "Paradise By the Dashboard Light" is a kick ass karaoke song, but it goes on for about 1/2 hour. Pair that with bad, drunken voices performing it in a bar full of karaoke professionals, you will get the big hook dragging you off the stage. (Or, in our case that day, they will forcibly remove the microphones from your possession and introduce you to the sidewalk).

Besides the fact that I am famous for always thinking that the line, "Let me sleep on it, baby baby, let me sleep on it" was actually, "Let me sleep all day, baby baby, let me sleep all day." Even with a monitor showing me the words, I still didn't get that shit right.

-- Anonymous, April 19, 2002

Hannah - Please tell me that this is Dive Bar on the Upper West Side of NY - one of my all time favorite drinking establishments.

No, actually, it was our nickname for a bar in East Cambridge which is actually called the Courtside- on, I believe, Cambridge street. You can go! They have karaoke every Thursday, Friday and Saturday.

-- Anonymous, April 19, 2002

I will put it on my list of drinking establishments to stumble into during our trip to Boston - thanks!

-- Anonymous, April 22, 2002

I'd much rather sit at Fong's and watch y'all rock it out.

Except that you KNOW you would be in the wrong place! And I'd have to call your ass and track you down. Because it's really TONG'S.

-- Anonymous, April 22, 2002

Tong ta Tong Tong Tong's to be exact.

-- Anonymous, April 23, 2002

We were in the right place. We had the post to prove it.

You folks were just trying to ditch us before we'd even met. Having your own little 'Pretty Princess' karaoke party while tricking us into spending a small fortune on cab fare.

In the end, though, I got a necklace, so I was happy.

-- Anonymous, April 23, 2002

BOGGLE!!!!! I go to Maryoke quite often. Dazamn! If y'all are down with the karaoke, I can tell you how to win over CJ and his surly slip bitch.

Also: abusive tattoo-friendly karaokat The Star Bar on Mondays. I made the grouchy MC all misty and won a free drink for attempting Patsy Cline's "Crazy", which just goes show that they are easily impressed.

There's also Scary Karaoke at The Crazy Horse, if those of y'all who love the country classics and being steeped in "local colour" or a toothless, alcoholic, amelodic (but harmless) sort.

Woah. Maryoke. I'm so slow. I knew some of y'all were in my neck of the woods, but this brought it home. I'm the Lake Claire / L5P / Ponce / St. Agnes / Dekalb Ave part of town--had to vacate the Rental Hut in Cracktown (Glenwood, East Atlanta) but new Rental Bungalow is step up in world, with picket fence even. We like much. No syringes in front yard, no drive-bys. Having party soon, e-me if not intimidated by me being practically stranger and ex-Squishy person. Wait! I did buy An Bei some Mad Gabs lip unchap goop once...still have kickass mini AB art project in livingroom, so I think of ABC when I go into the L5P drugstore and see Mad Gabs display.

(P.S. I hate this computer. Too many typos. Is Slow. Am Cranky.)

-- Anonymous, July 03, 2002