Need a wholly unprofessional diagnosis, or want to give one? Here's the thread.

For the last several days I've had weird shooting pains when I try to extend or raise my right arm, getting steadily worse, to the point that today I had trouble dressing and brushing my hair because I couldn't keep my arm up high enough. Massage and fumbling stimulation of supposed pressure points haven't helped much. It's not a heart attack (which was my roommate's first conclusion) but it could be West Nile virus (I got bit several times over the weekend). Also in play: a slightly sore throat and possibly swollen glands.

Anyone got any ideas?

-- Anonymous, August 16, 2001

Answers

If you can look down, putting your chin to your chest, it isn't West Nile virus.

-- Anonymous, August 16, 2001

Angina would be your left arm, correct?

Is it only when you raise your arm? It could be a pinched nerve or something--the sore throat may just be coincidence. My question is, why didn't you ask Mr. Pharmacist Rock Star, huh huh huh?

Anyone want to tell me why I didn't just go get stitches yesterd ay instead of trying to self-medicate?

Gah, I'm a pimping machine today, ain't I?

-- Anonymous, August 16, 2001

AB, I was intending not to bother Mr. Pharmacist Rock Star until I started taking drugs for my whiny self. A pinched nerve sounds pretty likely; I just don't know why it's getting worse.

-- Anonymous, August 16, 2001

I pinched a nerve in my back while ironing and I thought I was going to DIE right there. The nurse-line lady told me that moving around and stuff would just keep irritating the nerve so I took a day off to lie around, took a pain killer, and put wet heat on the area instead of ice. Try that, if it doesn't work and your insurance has one call your nurse or doctor help line and ask them.

-- Anonymous, August 16, 2001

See, what Slickery described sounds different. This was minor twinges slowly becoming major twinges, mostly in the elbow but occasionally at the wrist and this morning (when I rolled over in bed) at the shoulder. I don't remember doing anything specific to set this off; I know I didn't sleep on this arm last night, though I may have over the weekend.

-- Anonymous, August 16, 2001

WG, could it be sudden-onset carpal tunnel syndrome?

My throat is sore, my head hurts, I have a little fever, and my nose is alternately congested & runny. Minor summer cold, or meningitis? The big M is apparently going around in Toronto.

-- Anonymous, August 16, 2001

According to WebMD (a very reputable source for all of one's speculative ailments), your symptoms indicate almost certainly that you have the scurvy. Other symptoms include being in possession of one or more of the following: -a prosthetic wooden, or "peg" style, leg. -one or more hands replaced with any type of cutlery. -a propensity for exclaiming "ARR!" at inappropriate, sporadic intervals.

..... but it's probably just a pinched nerve. hope you feel better. ~er

-- Anonymous, August 16, 2001

There's such a thing as sudden onset carpal tunnel? Yikes.

My boyfriend has ordered me to rub Ben-Gay on the spot that hurts the most (at the top of my arm) and get back to work.

-- Anonymous, August 16, 2001

WG, I have no idea if there's such a thing as sudden-onsent carpal tunnel. I was making it up, see, using my imagination to (mis)diagnose you!

Altogether, though, I think scurvy is a much more chic disease. The accessories (peg leg, enormous peasant blouses, green parrot on the shoulder, eyepatch) are so much better than those for carpal tunnel (those heinous arm braces). Go with that, and drink some lemonade while you're at it.

-- Anonymous, August 16, 2001

WG, I think you have a pinched nerve. I have one it my neck and sometimes my left arm and hand go all gooey and hurt and I can't really hold anything.

I try to blame all my arm wrestling losses on this, but nobody buys it.

-- Anonymous, August 16, 2001

Okay, Al, so what do you do? The IcyHot isn't helping.

-- Anonymous, August 16, 2001

Wet heat, WG, was the key for me. Heating pads are fairly cheap at the pharmacy; dampen the sponge part, apply to pained area. Although I used this bag o' herbs I bought at some Ren Fair or Craft Fair or Crazy Shit People Actually Pay For Fair, just some cotton fabric with good smelling stuff in it; mist with water, warm in microwave. In emergencies while traveling I've used the hot, wet towel method: fill sink with water as hot as you can stand, wet hand towel in it, wring out so it's not dripping but is still wet.

I do think carpel tunnel can work the way you described, minor twinges working up to major pain if you keep using it. Carpel tunnel, I hear, is not something you want to mess around with and you shouldn't keep up the motion that triggered it, probably typing, without treatment.

I'm all about projecting my hypochondria on other people.

Finally, I am amused at the way hiro called it "the scurvy" in the same way that Frank McCourt always wrote "the damp" and "the consumption." That's a big thing at our house. "I've got the sinus infection. Or else the consumption." "I'm dying of the heat." Now I shall also be claiming the scurvy.

Aar!

-- Anonymous, August 16, 2001

"...in the same way that Frank McCourt always wrote "the damp" and "the consumption."

And let us not forget "the drink." I have spent many a Saturday morning recovering from the drink. Also, sometimes the drink makes me have to be on "the dole."

-- Anonymous, August 16, 2001

And some of us will not be able to do "the bowling" as scheduled on Saturday if we fail to be able to lift our arm more than two inches without galloping pain.

Slickery, thanks for the advice; I'll try the heat treatment soon as I get home.

-- Anonymous, August 16, 2001

...and the kids smoke the pot. Then they have the sex.

disco-fresh non-sequitor: Did y'all actually dig on the "Angela's Ashes?" It just seemed like that book could've been about TWO HUNDRED pages shorter-- considering every fifth page Pa got drunk and pissed off Ma and forced the family into deeper fiscal ruin. Rinse. Repeat. Then a sibling dies every 20 pages-or-so. Feh. Yes yes, i'm aware they were hard times and it's a true story but COME ON-- it's a wee bit repetitive.

On topic-- i really do hope your arm feels better. Chin up, if all fails, there's always amputation (nothin' says lovin' like a cauterized stump.) kinky? you decide.

really though, get that thing fixed so you can throw some 10-pin kung- fu.

~er

-- Anonymous, August 16, 2001

totally off-topic here, since I have no idea what might be wrong with your arm, WG (although I hope you figure it out and it feels better in time for 10-pin!), but WORD, Hiro, on the Angela's Ashes.

300 pages of "...and then Dad got drunk and mom got knocked up again and we ate dirt and moldy bread... and then we did it again... and then another sibling died... and then I stole some cash and came to America with my rotten teeth. The End."

I'm afraid to read 'Tis, after the heartwarming feel-goodness of Angela's Ashes.

-- Anonymous, August 17, 2001

Hee. The scurvy. That doesn't work with my favorite disease, though. The scabies sounds weird.

When we didn't like a fraternity boy in college, we'd tell people he had scabies. I'm not even sure what scabies are, but it scared people off.

My thighs are nothing but one big bruise right now. Isn't unexplained easy bruising a sign of leukemia? I'm going to die of the cancer.

And speaking of the cancer, I know skin cancer is hereditary. But is the location of the skin cancer hereditary? I have a mole in the same place that my grandmother had melanomas. Should I be extra vigilant in monitoring it?

Now that I am going to be on student health care I'm just going to get all my advice here. Thanks.

-- Anonymous, August 17, 2001

WG: Although I know you appreciate everyone's advice, please, please go to a Doctor and find out what is wrong. It can be any number of things and if it is something that you could have taken care of early, but turns into something ugly because you didn't do anything, I'm sure we would ALL be very sad.

Learned the hard way NOT to wait...-Barb

-- Anonymous, August 17, 2001

Aspirin is the loveliest substance ever invented.

-- Anonymous, August 17, 2001

Hannah, every time I get a bruise, I'm convinced I have leukemia. Too many junior high books with titles like "Six Months to Live."

I think it's hereditary. When my mother was in nursing school, she would talk herself into having every disease they studied.

Also, get the dermatologist to biopsy your mole. I've had it done a thousand times, because I've had quite a few that looked suspect.

-- Anonymous, August 17, 2001

It's very regular looking. It's just in- a place I can't readily keep an eye on. My sister's had quite a few suspect moles removed, so I know what to look for, but checking this mole out involves contortions.

-- Anonymous, August 17, 2001

OT: I loved every single word in Angela's Ashes. It was so cool to find someone else not capable of editing their initial 8000 word sentences down to a managable length. Tis wasn't very good though and he was a big ass to his first wife, which disappointed me. His brother Malachi's book, Monks Swimming was okay. He was a celebrity way before Frank (though not as famous) and was on Carson a few times, got drunk with some famous people, did a few plays and so on. It's good for the stories of famous people getting drunk and Malachi's just such a big idiot you gotta love him but it's not particularly well written.

Back on topic, does anyone live with a pet they are allergic to and manage it with meds? I've had several asthma attacks since we got the dog after over a year without any (and without any medication to prevent). The inhaler and Allegra help and we aren't sure it's the dog but I will be quite heartbroken if I am allergic to Xander.

-- Anonymous, August 17, 2001

My thighs are nothing but one big bruise right now. Isn't unexplained easy bruising a sign of leukemia? I'm going to die of the cancer.

Uh, I think you have the bruises because you've been moving heavy things.

WG, I agree, go see a doctor. And I'm skeptical about wetting the sponge part of a heating pad (or I misread Slickery's advice, which is likely), what with the pad being electric and all. I wouldn't want you to be both gimp-armed AND electrocuted.

-- Anonymous, August 17, 2001

Oh, T. You and your non-leukemia diagnosis. But you're probably right.

-- Anonymous, August 17, 2001

Hee, I try not to electrocute people if I'm not there to watch! Most heating pads are made so they snap apart, you take out the sponge part, wet it, put it back, snap it together. I've done this tons of times and have yet to die. That I know of.

-- Anonymous, August 17, 2001

FYI Hannah.....

Scabies is a contagious, itchy skin condition caused by very small, wingless insects or mites called the Human Itch mite or Scabies itch mite Sarcoptes scabiei var. hominis (Hering), a tiny insect just visible to the eye (about 0.4mm) and is tiny, eight-legged creature with a round body.

Attracted to warmth and odor, the female mite is drawn to a new host, making a burrow, laying eggs and producing secretions that cause an allergic reaction. Larvae hatch from the eggs and travel to the skin surface, lying in shallow pockets where they will produce secretions.

The female insect burrows into the skin where she lays 1 - 3 eggs daily. If untreated, the female will continue to lay eggs for about five weeks. The eggs hatch and the new mites begin the cycle all over again. An allergic reaction to the mite, its eggs and feces occurs, which irritates and inflames skin. The rash is extremely itchy, which often causes sleeping problems especially in infants and young children.

In case you were really wanting to know about "the scabies"

-- Anonymous, August 17, 2001

So, y'all, three days after getting on a plane with a nasty cold, I still have the unpopped ear.

Breathing steam is not helping. Any other suggestions?

-- Anonymous, February 07, 2002

Yeah, WG: Go to the doctor.

Last year I had a raging cold that turned into an ear infection (which I had not had since childhood), and I thought I was going to die. My doctor gave me these antibiotics that I swear were for horses.

-- Anonymous, February 07, 2002

Do your glands feel swollen and tender? Maybe they are swollen enough to block your ears from draining properly. Try some tylenol/decongestant type stuff. If your ear hurts though, definitely get to the doctor ASAP.

-- Anonymous, February 07, 2002

It's not painful, just stuffed up. You know how you swallow a few hours after you get off the plane, and suddenly your ear opens? That's what hasn't happened yet.

I've just taken a lot of decongestant in hopes I can stave off the doctor.

-- Anonymous, February 07, 2002

Hold your nose and mouth closed and exhale hard. And be prepared to whimper. Our Thanksgiving drive to and from Ohio I had an unpopped ear going through all those damn PA mountains and finally had to do this. I was convinced I had pierced my eardrum it hurt so badly but it did pop.

-- Anonymous, February 07, 2002

Slickery! We have progress. I bow to your ear knowledge.

-- Anonymous, February 07, 2002

Glad it worked. That's my standard on planes too, I find it works better than swallowing or chewing gum. Plus people look at you like you are crazy and that's always fun.

-- Anonymous, February 08, 2002