Well, my old boss (amusingly nicknamed Napoleon, both for his diminutive stature and his dictator attitude), just sent me an e-mail asking me to pay personal phone charges, standard procedure for all employees of the company.

I don't think I should have to do it, since I HAVEN'T WORKED THERE SINCE JUNE.

But, whatever. I am not surprised at this request, since he is and always has been somewhat of an ass.

Have you ever had this happen, after a job or, even worse, a relationship ends? You're going through life just fine, and suddenly the ugly spectre of your past rears its head from the murky waters and gives you another jab?

-- Anonymous, August 21, 2001

Answers

Ugh.

My divorce was final on August 8, and I've only heard from The Ex once since then - a late-night slurred phone call, telling me how much he hates me now for "doing this to him."

He's moving to another state in October, which is all fine and good.

Except for the fact that all of his shit is still in my garage, since I was nice enough to tell him (pre-divorce) that he could leave it there until he moved. Which means he'll be around at some point to gather it all up. And, if I'm lucky, to tell me again what a bitch I am for leaving him.

Sigh.

-- Anonymous, August 21, 2001

Corbin made me give his Beatles anthology back months after we broke up and I thought he'd forgotten about it. I was crushed.

-- Anonymous, August 21, 2001

my ex-employer appealed my unemployment claim to the State of Texas. They knew they'd lose. I knew they'd lose. Everybody knew they'd lose. But they did succeed in holding up my $300 a week for 5 weeks. Do you suppose the multimillion dollar low-lifes needed that cash more than I did? the bastards.

-- Anonymous, August 21, 2001

Because I can't make a linky, here you go: http://www.geocities.com/naonea/

The entry, entitled Shmucky Asshole Xhusband, pretty much explains the last fucking I got from that loser.

Yes, in the end, life paid him back in ways I could never dream of achieving, but I left myself open without even knowing it. Valuble lesson, kiddos: always remember to remove yourself from the mortgage.

-- Anonymous, August 21, 2001

Eeek, Robyn. What a curse he must have been on you, but now, hooray, you are blessed to be free of him.

-- Anonymous, August 22, 2001

So happy to be free! Heed my warning, y'all. Do not marry a tool. If you have any hint at all that he/she is a tool before the actual wedding date, you must run. Run, I tell you, run like the wind.

-- Anonymous, August 22, 2001

Do not marry a tool.

Sage advice. And perhaps the name of my third album... we shall see.

-- Anonymous, August 22, 2001

If he drives from New Jersey to Maryland every week to have his mama iron his shirts, you've married a HUGE tool.

Special K: Officially Tool-Free In The Eyes Of The Court Of Law Since February 2000

-- Anonymous, August 22, 2001

I actually kind of like Tool's new song. But I'm guessing that's not what y'all are talking about.

-- Anonymous, August 22, 2001

I bet if y'all email Robyn nicely she will also share with you the Webpage of Ass. Go to the bathroom before viewing or you will laugh so hard you'll pee on your computer.

-- Anonymous, August 23, 2001

For a good time, email Robyn. For a minute I thought I was reading the bathroom wall.

-- Anonymous, August 23, 2001

Well, Robyn, that is what I write on every bathroom wall I see.

-- Anonymous, August 23, 2001