Okay. I already know who I hate.

Check them out on CBS' Survivor: Africa page.

The new season starts October 11

-- Anonymous, September 25, 2001

Answers

My first question is, again, what are some of these people thinking on their luxury items. Army pants? A hacky sack?

-- Anonymous, September 25, 2001

Deer antlers??

-- Anonymous, September 25, 2001

I'm thinking Lex will cause some problems.

And that Jessie girl looks like a poser. You know, like every time they get her in a shot she'll be doing something squinky with her eyes, trying to be all sexy.

Oh, this is going to be funny.

-- Anonymous, September 25, 2001

Brandon, the gay former make up artist who grew up as an Army brat? Hubba hubba!

I think long pants with lots of pockets in Africa might be smart. They have bad things that bite and sting you and if you get some sort of competition like the "carry mud on your body" one in season one the pockets will be handy. It's better than a beach ball. A beach ball? The fuck?

Oh, wait, that says Army PAINTS. Well that's dumb.

Isn't there some sort of special on the week before this starts?

From Theresa's bio: "Cooper is a 20-year veteran flight attendant for a major airline, for whom she flies as a German qualified speaker and also as an international flight coordinator. She is a certified real estate agent, and works full time as a recruiting and sales representative for a cosmetic company. "

Can you saw over-achieving Mary Kay lady? I point to her pink hat as proof that she loves the MK over the Avon.

Lord, a journal-writing postal worker. I fear her.

Okay like half of these people are either originally from or live in Massachusetts. That's weird.

The professional soccer player is also a hottie.

That Jessie girl? Went from "Miss Puerto Rico, Orlando" to security at a theme park to police officer to deputy sherrif. She does look annoying but what an odd career path. that makes her more interesting to me.

Okay I already hate Kelly. She's 22 but feels the need to tell us all her high school accomplishments? MOVE ON. If there's anything more annoying than someone who harps on being high school class president I can't think of it. And she lists "manipulating men" as one of her hobbies. That's it, she's this year's Jerri.

A self-employed goat farmer! I love him. I want the goat farmer to win.

-- Anonymous, September 25, 2001

Aromatherapy ball? The fuh?

Oh, and you are SO right about that Kelly chick. She obviously wants to be the next Jerri, and she's sooooo not qualified. "Manipulative", my ass. "Too Snotty And I'm-So-Smart", more like. When you're 27, does anyone really care that you were a National Merit Scholar in high school? Have I missed out on something, here? I hope she gets kicked off first, just so we can watch her pout and run crying to her daddy.

I'm torn between the goat farmer, the soccer player, and the guy from Dallas. Mostly the farmer and the soccer guy, though. The other one's just because, well, hometown boy and all. But um, he's no Colby.

I'd be afraid to kick Carl off, for fear his mob brothers would find me and kill me.

Teresa scares me with her Mary-Kayness, and Diane's hair is going to be a big ol' knot after the first day. Conditioner, honey, should be your luxury item.

-- Anonymous, September 25, 2001

God, Kelly. Hate her already with her "manipulate men" comment. And she said she likes "all music...except Bob Dylan." That's just fucking wrong. She must go down.

So far I like Clarence the Basketball Coach and Tom the Goat Farmer.

-- Anonymous, September 25, 2001

Ethan is my new boyfriend. Hands off, y'all.

-- Anonymous, September 25, 2001

Hi, I'm Kim P - Freelance Marketing Executive. What the hell is a freelance executive, exactly? Because I am seriously considering putting that title on my new business cards.

I hate it when people try to plump up their job to make themselves sound important.

Frank scares me. I don't want to say anything bad about him because he might come after me.

Tom named his son Bucky Bo. Too. Many. Jokes. Must stop....typing.

-- Anonymous, September 25, 2001

"Freelance Marketing Executive" sounds like the kind of title you create when you done got laaaaaaaaid off.

And I can say that, as I done got laaaaaaaid off myself.

-- Anonymous, September 25, 2001

Earlier, T, right? Not again?

As for me, I'm sure there's a space being cleared on Fuckedcompany.com for RCW.com right now. But y'all didn't hear that.

-- Anonymous, September 25, 2001

Oh, no, I'm gainfully employed, despite Medicare reform being pushed to 2002.

-- Anonymous, September 25, 2001

Ya know, I'm thinking about skipping this Survivor series as a protest against reality TV as a whole. I think the whole genre has gone down the tubes (yes, yes, a lot of it was there already, but you know what I mean). The straw that broke this camel's back?

Love Cruise

What, exactly, is the game here? Trample on people's trust and emotions while trying to win money? With, of course, the added bonus of getting a litle nookie in the process?

-- Anonymous, September 26, 2001

oh, but "Love Cruise" is from FOX who so hasn't a clue when it comes to this format. i mean they aired that Princess thing earlier this week, which i didn't see but did they not learn after last year's wedding fiasco?

so far the major networks are putting more effort (more money?) behind their "reality" shows. "Murder in Small Town X", "The Amazing Race" and "Survivor" have much better casting & concepts than anything FOX has done. even USA's "Cannonball Run 2001" had more going for it than "Love Cruise"

i think it comes down to casting, get the right people and it'll be entertaining

-- Anonymous, September 26, 2001

"Murder in Small Town X" was also on FOX, wasn't it?"

I do agree that it comes down to casting. It just seems they are doing what The Real World did after the first season. They started just casting people who would create conflict because that is what people tuned in for. Or who would have sex with people. So it seems that now the "reality" is that they only people who get cast are promiscuious or abnormally aggressive.

-- Anonymous, September 26, 2001

Kristin, HA re: Freelance Executive.

Murder in Small Town X was Fox and it was vastly under-rated. I thought it was really interesting. With all the improv actors and on- going storyline it was really different than most of these "reality" shows. Unfortunately baseball fucked with the scheduling a lot and TiVO didn't know it and I missed the last half hour of the last 2 episodes.

I got sucked in by Temptation Island, despite my best intentions, but I am not giving into Love Cruise this year. That's just too much for me.

My big issue is this "reality" label. It was semi-valid for the first year of Real World when no one had any idea and they really were just living and reacting to each other. The rest of this is not reality. It's dramatic-form game show, basically.

-- Anonymous, September 26, 2001

Two words: Hobbies, smoking.

I'm so embarrassed for our city.

-- Anonymous, September 26, 2001

Well, I won't get to watch it (it would annoy the flatmate too much, and I'm not going to annoy the flatmate just for Survivor) but I'll certainly be following the recaps on MBTV.

I would so take a huge bottle of sunscreen as my luxury item. Maybe combined sunscreen and insect repellent. Although camouflage paints (I'm assuming that's what the army paints are) could be useful.

-- Anonymous, September 27, 2001

I think they're given all the sunscreen they need, as well as certain other things like tampons, you know? Notice that most of the Survivors aren't sunburned during the show.

-- Anonymous, September 27, 2001

Deer antlers, Yes dressing up like lion food is a great idea.

-- Anonymous, September 27, 2001

It starts on Thursday. Any preseason bets?

-- Anonymous, October 09, 2001

I had planned to do a Survivor contest for whoever wants to participate. I just haven't gotten around to it yet and time she flies by fast like a hummingbird. If Yahoo is doing a contest again maybe I'll start a group there.

-- Anonymous, October 09, 2001

I am excited about the show tonight! I am such a Survivor snob, I think it is by far the best of the reality shows. I won't wager on a winner, though. It's nothing but a blind gamble to try and figure out who will win with only their bios to go on. Last year I predicted Tina would be the second of the Ogrewhores voted off. Um, yeah.

-- Anonymous, October 11, 2001

Argh! I got sucked in.

Was it any surprise that Diane would be the one voted off? I mean really. And that old goat farmer is creepy, probably racist guy, don't you think? Blech.

-- Anonymous, October 11, 2001

Just keep giving me shirtless Ethan.

Clarence is a dirty double cherry eater. And bean hogger! For shame!

-- Anonymous, October 11, 2001

Hannah, you're so right about the farmer. And I WANT to be able to root for him, but it may prove to be difficult.

Last night my friend said, "you know the goat farmer's going to vote Clarence off. I mean, you can tell that he just doesn't put up with people he doesn't feel like he can trust."

"Yeah," I said, "and plus, there's that whole *Clarence is black* thing."

"Well, yeah... that, too."

Although I really think that the food thing is the reason Clarence "offered" to stay behind. He'll be voted off soon. And as for that other tribe? No question that Mr. Militant will be voted off as soon as they get the chance. Sheesh. What a peckerhead.

Silas is my secret boyfriend. But only because Keli got to Ethan first. And was anyone besides me squealing in fright every time Ethan took a tumble over the front of that cart? Gads.

-- Anonymous, October 12, 2001

And was anyone besides me squealing in fright every time Ethan took a tumble over the front of that cart?

Yes! I kept flinching. It looked like he was going to break his legs a few times there. Yowch.

I'm still a little confused on who everyone is, especially the women. I only know who Lindsay is because she's the one who has her period. Yay, great, thanks for sharing.

And yeah, I really liked Tom before. I mean, hello! He's a goat farmer! But now he creeps me out. I actually had to flip away druing his chastising speech. It seemed like it was taking all his will power to not switch Clarence.

-- Anonymous, October 12, 2001

I only watched the end, starting with the older yeehaw man testing the black guy's restraint. How come there's no butt kicking going on in the tribes? I think the old guy had a big ass whomping coming for the things he said and the way he said them.

I've never watched the Survivors except snippets here and there last season, and it never even occurred to me for a second that the women had to deal with periods out there. Did they actually bring that up? Are they provided with sanitary somethings? Or do they just go to the red tent and wait it out?

-- Anonymous, October 12, 2001

Robyn - tampons are included in their medical kit. And they're there for 39 days, so you figure you'd only get it once, and the women from the first Survivor said they didn't get it because they were so malnourished/skinny. So, yeah.

-- Anonymous, October 12, 2001

I don't know why these women don't just do the 'don't take the sugar pills' Pill trick, and skip the hassle all together. I do think they edited that girl to look bad - where they are, you would need to know who had their period, since they are camping in an area that has predators who will be attracted to the (euw) smell, and there are safety protocols for it. I bet in their orientation they discussed this - they have a mini training session on survival before they are dropped off.

-- Anonymous, October 12, 2001

Personally, I've had very limited success with the don't-skip-the- inert-pills trick, and if I were going to Africa for three months, I wouldn't try messing with my system any further. But that's me. I also wonder if all the vaccinations, etc., would mess with the pill.

-- Anonymous, October 12, 2001

So there went Jessie, Queen of Bulimia.

Could you guys drink that big glass o' blood??? BLECH!

-- Anonymous, October 19, 2001

Blech! I know! miranda came over to watch it and we were both doing to totally grossed out squirmy dance. That was AWFUL. Makes me gag thinking about it.

But you know, I could really care less about any of those people. There's not one person I like. Maybe Lex. A little.

-- Anonymous, October 19, 2001

Am I hearing correctly, that the ratings for this year's Survivor are crappy? I'm with you Hannah, last night when it was over, I sat there thinking, "This SUCKS compared to last year." Usually they don't start whining until Day 25? And they are giving them WAY more food and stuff this year, so what's the problem?

I admit I like Silas's big dumb goofy self. The rest of that tribe is pretty insufferable though. And I like Clarence. Poor, abused, takes his licking and keeps on ticking Clarence. I'd tell that asscrack- showing yokel to carry his own goddamn water.

-- Anonymous, October 19, 2001

Y'all, it's all about Ethan. Ethan Ethan Ethan. He lives like three towns over from me. I may stalk him this weekend.

The blood? Didn't bother me at all. It's from a cow. Do you eat your steak rare? Do you see the blood coming out? Same thing. It seemed kind of thick which might make it harder to shoot than, say, a yummy buttery nipple. But given a choice between a shot of cow blood and some of the crap they ate last year like live beetles and tiny brains? I'll take the blood. Plus they mixed it with milk, it's like a bloodshake.

Honestly, no one seemed bothered by it at all, even Jessie who won't drink the WATER. So, really, can't be that bad. Which I think is why this year seems so much more boring. All the challenges so far, really fairly easy, no one balking and taking the fall. Tripping isn't that much of a blame factor, people trip. It just seems fairly easy so far, like a dirty spa vacation. Even the water was clear this week. BORING. We need a good bitchy Jerri up in there.

-- Anonymous, October 19, 2001

I know! It was so easy to pick my favorite tribe last year and come on, Colby? Please. Silas is pretty but he's no Colby.

And I thought Ethan said he would vote for Clarence before he'd vote for one of the girls. Oh, and I think Goat Farmer can't spell which is why he always writes C.B.

-- Anonymous, October 19, 2001

maybe the producers sensed how boring it's been, caged up a lion, dropped it off near one of the tribe's camps.

and then maybe there will be an animal attack and a cool night-vision fight scene. all green and glowing with everyone's eyes really dark and round and alien-spooky.

it could still pick up, maybe.

or maybe last season's was just THAT GOOD. it was a hard season to top. perhaps they should have stopped it then, knowing the huge appeal it had.

but then, maybe it'll get better....

-- Anonymous, October 19, 2001

I bet Goat Farmer only had time to learn his alphabet before he left for Africa, not the entire reading thing. That's why he uses the initials.

Remember Soozan and her spelign scilz? Ah, the good old days.

When GF kept saying, "I'm voting agin' him" my eyes about rolled out of my head. Central Casting called, they want Illiterate Hillbilly #4 back!

-- Anonymous, October 19, 2001

I have to admit that I am looking forward to some lion action next week.

-- Anonymous, October 19, 2001

WHAT lion action? Lame.

And what was up with Carl all doggin on Generation X? What an ass.

But Silas gets yummier every day, don't he.

-- Anonymous, October 26, 2001

Silas who? ETHAN. ETHAN people.

I love how Carl is judging all of "Generation X" (which, actually, these kids aren't, they are too young for it but their group doesn't have a fancy nickname) by the slackers and fame whores who go on reality tv. Oh, WAIT, he's a fame whore too. Therefore I declare all Baby Boomers to be all about fancy cars and denistry.

Y'all, how stupid was it that they made fake boulders? I think an 8 hour competition pushing a real boulder would be better at showing who can Outlast.

Also, the Idol Goddess found a new home because she doesn't like conflict? Step away from the smoking elephant dung.

-- Anonymous, October 26, 2001

Totally off-topic but:

Generation X" (which, actually, these kids aren't, they are too young for it but their group doesn't have a fancy nickname)

Really? I was born in '76. I thougth I was Gen X. Tail-end, but Gen X all the same.

Gen Y starts with kids born in '81 (or thereabouts).

-- Anonymous, October 26, 2001

Linda is crazier than Toni from Love Cruise. She better be quiet about Mother Africa and her spirits or she'll end up explaining it to Jane Clayson and Bryant Gumbel next week. And Lindsey is about a bitch but I can't help it, I like her and her plan to thwart those self-satisfied, condescending old folks who fancy themselves the Greatest Generation and "fear for our future" because the Gen X people sleep in a half hour. That really burned my ass. Some rich dentist with a Porsche talking about he fears for the future. Dude, fill your teeth and shut the hell up.

I bet Carl dodged the Viet Nam draft. SO THERE.

No no, it's ALL about Silas! Ethan the soccer player, how does he keep from killing himself during a match?!?! He is the clumsiest athlete I've ever seen in my life! He's always flopping face first on the ground!

-- Anonymous, October 26, 2001

So who gets axed tonight?

-- Anonymous, November 01, 2001

Please let it be Linda. Let Mother Afrika tell her to shut her ass up.

-- Anonymous, November 01, 2001

Yeah, I think it will be Samburu that goes to council again. Now that Boran has all that clean water they'll be in better shape.

-- Anonymous, November 01, 2001

What's the name of the other tribe? Because I like them, for the most part.

-- Anonymous, November 01, 2001

Samburu has Silas and Boran has Ethan.

-- Anonymous, November 01, 2001

Mmmm... Ethan.

-- Anonymous, November 01, 2001

So how do you think the "rules of the game" will change next week? Who's friendships will be shattered in the first fifteen minutes?

-- Anonymous, November 01, 2001

So, Linda. Was anyone shocked?

What's this big surprise next week? There's a theory on 3wa.

-- Anonymous, November 01, 2001

Don't know the surprise but my theory is that "danger" possibly from "animals" forces the tribes to merge really early and all the alliances get shifted about. The quotes are because I think it will be engineered by the producers much like the mountain climbing tonight. So convenient to have that helicopter there to get those shots, eh?

-- Anonymous, November 01, 2001

Isn't it interesting that Boran had an efficient systematic plan to dissemble the hut? It's almost like someone said: do the hut then x and then x.

-- Anonymous, November 02, 2001

Word on Boran and the hut, H, but I think it might have just been better team work. It seemed like there had to have been time between picking the architects and then sending them up the hill, time for the architects to try to memorize the camp. I don't think it would be that crazy to say the others stood around making plans and realized that carrying the big, heavy hut, which is the center/reference point for the camp, first would be smart.

What's the theory at 3WA or point me to a thread? I just read the last page of the Survivor 3 thread and there wasn't any mention. Is it earlier from spoiler stuff? (I'm trying to avoid spoiler stuff although this season is so boring it might be worth it.)

Was I the only one who wanted to hear Linda give a big ole "The Immunity Goddess decided I needed to go and I'm going" speech? Seems like Mother Africa got tossed when she did.

-- Anonymous, November 02, 2001

OK, I haven't seen the show all year. But I just read the recap, and I'll tell you this for free -- if I was one of the old people, and a young guy came up and said "Yeah, we're going to vote all y'all off one by one, but please keep voting for Lindsey so we don't all get screwed in the tiebreaker when the tribes merge," I'd sure as hell make sure to spread my votes around so all the young people were screwed.

-- Anonymous, November 02, 2001

Oh yeah. My vote would've definitely been for Silas. Ha. I just thought it was funny when Jeff P. was like - well, I can tell you one thing for sure - if Samburu goes into a merge with 4 and 1 split and Boran goes in with 5 strong, what do YOU think will happen? Ha.

Slickery - read page 2 of the thread. Or I can just email you.

-- Anonymous, November 02, 2001

I thought it was smart to do the hut first because you should always carry your heaviest stuff when you have the most energy. Samburu was really struggling by the time they moved that hut. I wouldn't think you would NEED somebody to tell you that, you could figure it out on your own.

I don't know why the hell the producers gave them those fragile, fragile pots for boiling their water. Did they not do field tests on them first??? They should have metal containers like they had last year, it's not their fault the product is inferior.

Bye, Linda. You will not be missed. WHY didn't someone call her on her hysterical, wacky behavior the morning after tribal council??? She was seriously scaring people. Me included.

I think it was pretty presumptuous of the Gen X people to ask the older folks to all vote for Lindsey. I mean sure, their arrogance got them into that predicament but they were right, why SHOULD they??? I'd tell those Gen Xers to take a flying leap. I might even sabotage them. Heh heh.

-- Anonymous, November 02, 2001

Yeah, how stupid was telling them how to vote? Silas is a twit. But they did sabatoge Silas with the three votes against him. I figure he'll get at least two more votes before the merger. The merger comes when . . . one tribe has four members left?

The pots are breaking because they are putting them directly on the fire AND pouring cool water in them when they're hot. They're just not too bright. I'll be surprised if anyone from that tribe makes to the final four.

Did you buy the promo for next week about something MAJOR happening which will RIP apart the allliances? Sounds like CBS might be getting desperate, although the ratings were up last week.

-- Anonymous, November 02, 2001

Okay, call me crazy, but was it just me, or did the winning tribe CHEAT, with the hut contest?

I mean, I wanted them to win, but didn't J.P. specifically say that the "architects" in the circle couldn't help with anything until ALL the pieces of the camp were within the circle? And it looked like they were blatantly putting the fence together while the others ran back for more stuff.

I was surprised nobody threw a fit over that.

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

Good question, Dawn. I thought Jeff just meant that they couldn't run out of the circle and help bring stuff in? I'm not sure. I don't remember.

I'm irritated that they're making the big BLOW YOUR SOCKS off change to the game thing in the first 15 minutes. I've gotten prett used to only watching the 2nd half. Guess I'll watch the whole thing this week.

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

Dawn, I thought that too but the magic of TiVO assured me that he said the architects couldn't do anything until the pieces were in the circle (as opposed to all of the pieces). So they were allowed to set things up while the others ran back. And both tribes did it, in fact the losing tribe did it first since the winning tribe got the big hut first and once a hut is down what can you do with it, really?

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

Buh-bye Teethy McFloppyHair!

I like the way the switch turned out. Hopefully old Boran will be able to stick together and vote out the lamers.

-- Anonymous, November 08, 2001

I loved the switch. And I actually like Brandon now. He's not so dumb after all.

Bye Silas. Smell ya later.

-- Anonymous, November 08, 2001

Ok, about the goat herding:

Isn't the one guy a goat farmer? He didn't appear to have his shit together.

Herding. Herd. Not Pick Up and Run This Fucker Over To The Pen. Bothe teams did it, but I would have made them start all over again.

-- Anonymous, November 08, 2001

Word, Keli.

As soon as I saw what it was I was like, well Samburu has this in the bag. Tom is effing goat farmer for crying out loud!

I loved the switch. Loved it. But if I was Tom, Lex or Kelly I'd be p-i-s-s-e-d. Pissed. If Brandon were a smartie, he'd take care of business and get rid of loud Lindsay.

How did I get sucked back into this??

-- Anonymous, November 09, 2001

Thank GOD Silas is gone because if he'd crossed his arms and pinched his own nipples one more time I think my brain would have melted.

So, do we think Just Peachy's implication that there will be no merge is true or is he just yanking their chain? I think it would be really interesting to keep it separate and merge only at final four.

-- Anonymous, November 09, 2001

Okay, somebody tell me what happened... I missed it, dagnabbit.

But I had a good excuse, oh yes.

I take it Silas is gone, which blows me away. And probably blew HIM away, too. Did he fuck up, or did his chickies turn on him?

-- Anonymous, November 09, 2001

I missed the first 15 minutes so I don't know exactly how the swap took place. Three people were swapped: Frank, Linda? and Silas went to the other tribe, and Tom (goat farmer), Lex and Kelly went to the slacker tribe. They were none too pleased when they got there. The camp was a mess and the slackers were, well, slacking.

The reward challenge was herding goats from one pen to another. Boran? won. Clarence's tribe. I missed the reward.

Brandon sounds like he wants to vote the whiner girl, Lindsay(?) off. He's probably going to align with goat farmer Tom, Lex and Kelly.

The immunity challenge was to put a big puzzle together of a tribal mask. Samburu? (the slacker tribe) won. Brandon took charge and kicked some butt.

Boran UNANIMOUSLY voted for Silas' slimy ass. He was sliming around trying to get support but clearly Frank and the other lady wouldn't vote for him. Ethan felt threatened by him and Clarence didn't trust him.

JP and next week's teaser implied there would be no merge next week, and Boran's about to run out of food.

I'm sure the other's will fill in stuff I left out and forgot, like the reward. And correct me if I got the tribe names mixed up!

-- Anonymous, November 09, 2001

The show started with the tribes getting tree mail. The note said to pick 3 members to go on quest. Samburu sent Frank, Thresa adn Silas. Boran sent Lex, Kelly and Tom. They had to walk to the original drop-off point where JP had them take off their bandanas and gave them new ones.

I felt bad for oldBoran going into Slacker Samburu. I hope Brandon and Kim P both align with oldBoran and get rid of Lindsay because she's really only bringing them down.

The reward challenge was for chickens and a rooster. JP said something about killing them for their meat or keeping them for their eggs, but that doing so might attract predators. (eee!)

-- Anonymous, November 09, 2001

Oh. WOW. The worst possible thing for Silas was to go to the other tribe with two of the "old folks". Hee. Funny. Also such a Bunim- Murray thing to do, once the old/young rift became apparent, instead of letting them vote out all the older crowd. Sheesh.

I can't see Brandon and Tom getting along well enough for an alliance. And I can't stop thinking about my poor baby Lex trapped with the slackers.

I can't believe I missed this one - I'd have loved to see Brandon kicking some ass in that contest.

I love it that Silas was unanimously voted off. Did he do another On- One-Knee speech, trying to be a "leader"?

-- Anonymous, November 09, 2001

Oh, what I loved best about the split? After they show the split and everyone meeting up, there's a cut to an antelope taking a shit.

Tom and Lex and Kelly saw right through the slackers and are totally pissed that they got stuck with them. The slackers made a half- hearted effort to help, and then went back to laying on their asses. They wouldn't even get up to show the three new people how to get to the mud pit/watering hole. They yelled directions from where they were laying/lying/whatever.

Silas knew he was fucked Big Time when he realized he was stuck with the old folks. And Shae, the nipple-grabbing is the best description ever for what he was doing. It's like he can't think of anything else to do with his hands.

-- Anonymous, November 09, 2001

Keli, that's the straw that broke the Samburu camel's back for me: watching those lazy bastards give directions to the watering hole while flat on their backs. That, and all of Lindsey's whiny ass crying. I don't even try to resist the editing team's blatant manipulation of my emotions and loyalties. I'm all "please sir, may I have another?" I love that shit.

Those were some mighty lickable pectoral muscles on Silas and I am truly sorry to see them go. He himself, not so much. That big fit he threw about the elders not doing what he TOLD them to do? Is he three years old, or just your garden variety wife beater?

I was cracking up watching him run around like a maniac while his tribe blatantly threw the puzzle challenge. His "Don't worry about it, good job." HA! Snort.

-- Anonymous, November 12, 2001

So, who will it be tonight? Will there be a merge after all?

I'm hoping, and thinking, it will be Lindsay. If for some reason Boran goes, Clarence may finally be out.

-- Anonymous, November 15, 2001

On the Samburu side, I am thinking Miss Brandon is going to be extremely crucial if they end up at tribal council. I hope Lindsey is the one to go. Somebody needs to take the reigns at that tribe and she's not the one.

On the Boran side, I think Kim is still vulnerable. They'd be pretty dumb not to vote off the old lady, as nice as she and her butt cheeks are.

-- Anonymous, November 15, 2001

But now there are TWO old ladies, and one old man. Do you think they'd go for that shit? I have a feeling T and Kim are in charge over there.

-- Anonymous, November 15, 2001

You have a point, H. But I think there will need to be some mighty fancy footwork on the part of T and Frank to overpower the cohesiveness of the existing group. It was a good faith gesture to offer one of their own up for slaughter, but I'm not sure that buys them a key to the inner sanctum. The original Boran members have extremely strong bonds and have a record of voting off the weakest (until Silas, and they did that to prevent one of their own from going).

I think it's a moot point, though. Do you really see those Samburu lewzers doing much of ANYTHING at a challenge? I sure don't, unless the next immunity challenge is, "Who can produce the most dramatic hissyfit?" Lindsey would win that hands-down.

But y'all. I suck so bad with the predictions. I got so used to saying "Well was I WRONG" on Friday mornings last year.

-- Anonymous, November 15, 2001

Ha HA! Lindsey. Boo. She sucks. "It's a game, you guys!" Shut up.

So, are they merging or not?

-- Anonymous, November 15, 2001

So, Lindsey is Lou Gehrig now?

I was HOWLING during her "I'm the happiest person in the WORLD" speech. At least she was cheerful and sportsmanlike when she left. I won't miss her crying and whining, though.

The whole thing with Clarence and the chickens cracked me up too, but in a GOOD way. An egg! You go, girls!

-- Anonymous, November 16, 2001

At first when they did the revote I was like WHY?! I thought they were going to throw that rule out too and hten I was going to be pissed.

Really, I'm surprised Kimp didn't go up to Brandon like, listen - she's gonna sell you out, let's just throw the vote.

-- Anonymous, November 16, 2001

You know what's really lame? when the majority votes for one person, so they don't even go on and read the rest of the votes, and sometimes, you don't get to see who the person voted out voted for. So if Diane had voted for Tom, and Jessie had voted for Tom, and Silas had voted for Tom, he could have votes against him and not even KNOW IT. Nobody would know it! Jeff's all, "No need to read the rest of the votes..." but I think there's a need. So you know where you stand?

-- Anonymous, November 16, 2001

I think that's why Tom said "None that I know of." Given the laws the show falls under as a game show and the lawsuit alledging Burnham threw the first season I'm sure they are pretty meticulous about recording those. Jeff could possibly show them after the person leaves and they just don't show it on camera. I read that those tribal councils go for over an hour but they edit the hell out of them.

I think they will merge as usual, Jeff's just yanking their chain. Because otherwise the "jury" thing will work oddly. Plus then personal immunity is no longer an option.

However, I think next season (if htere is one) they should merge from the get go. 16 people, 1 tribe, personal immunity & reward challenges only. Can you imagine trying to set up alliances in that mess? Can you imagine balancing the need for immunity against showing your strengths? It would be glorious.

-- Anonymous, November 16, 2001

So, the tribes have merged and they have their new hot water name.

Who goes now? Lex?

-- Anonymous, November 29, 2001

Clarence was on Craig Kilborn the other night. I don't know if there was a show last week and he got voted off? I didn't watch the Craig Kilborn show because Craig Kilborn has become a huge tool.

They certainly are hyping the younger/older genration split, but maybe it doesn't mean jack shit and they're trying to find a hook to get people to watch.

-- Anonymous, November 29, 2001

Well, we finally got to see what the deer antlers were for.

You know, I hate those "highlight" recap shows, but damn, if it wasn't worth it to see Frank freaking out with the deer antlers. What a whack-a-doo!

-- Anonymous, November 30, 2001

The elephant bonding was just as special.

And by special, I mean retarded.(Love you, AB!)

-- Anonymous, November 30, 2001

I don't know WHAT Frank's deal is. He seems completely incapable of relating to human beings and obsessed with connecting with animals in some wacky spiritual sense. Does he know there are no African animals on the final jury? I mean, I totally understand psyching yourself up for the tribe challenges, but what some deer antler pieces have to do with that, I'll never know. And the "swaying elephant" thing? Dude looked like he farted and was trying to wave the stench away from his ass.

Here I thought Mother Afrika High Priestess Linda was the crazy one, but I'm starting to wonder if Old Frank isn't ready for a straight jacket.

-- Anonymous, November 30, 2001

Maybe they showed Frank's craziness because he'll be voted off next? Nah.

-- Anonymous, November 30, 2001

Oh my god, and when Linda started wigging? What was up with that? "What? Your mother never hugged ya?"

Man, I would've frozen up too. Scar-ee.

-- Anonymous, November 30, 2001

Oh yes, Lindsey froze up like that because her mother never hugged her. Not because she was being cajoled and bullied into hugging a sarcastic INSANE woman.

-- Anonymous, November 30, 2001

Okay, how stupid is Brandon? He went from being a sure 4 final thing to a number 5? Stupid, stupid, stupid. Oh, and Lex? How dumb do you and your gut feel now?

-- Anonymous, December 06, 2001

Brandon obviously has a crush on Lex, to do something that LAME.

Boy, T can sure keep a secret! And Lex is a total idiot, not to mention paranoid. How could he NOT put two and two together and figure out SHE was the one who had voted for him? Oh wait, that's right, his gut has something else to say. Obviously his gut is confused by all the ink covering his body. And his little ritual of telling the people he's getting ready to vote out that they're next? Quite retarded, luckily Kelly is not the brightest bulb or she would have been working double overtime to plead her case to her tribe.

I think it's getting interesting now (finally).

-- Anonymous, December 07, 2001

I know! Tom was obviously wary of the whole thing, and I think if Kelly had been like, Listen - Lex is paranoid. I would NEVER vote against one of y'all. I went with the group vote here.... Tom would've gone with her. Lex and Brandon are both in a heap of trouble right now.

And I hope Lex feels shit.tee, because damn, I liked Kelly.

-- Anonymous, December 07, 2001

Y'all, I was so into Lex before this episode. What an idiot. Follow your gut instincts I can actually buy but this "Someone betrayed me! Someone is a rat! That person is a snake whose head must be cut off!" Hey, SusanLiteLex, it's fucking *Survivor* not fucking Make Lifelong Friends. That's how the game is PLAYED.

I think they were all stupid not to figure out it was T too. It was obviously Clarence + 1. Who would ally with Clarence but the person he gave the immunity to? G. Z. Petes.

Ah, my man Ethan with the two wins and the life changing experience in the town and the baby dreads starting up. Love the Lex.

-- Anonymous, December 07, 2001

Shae, you're so right. I don't understand where Lex gets off being so SHOCKED! and MORTALLY OFFENDED! that someone actually voted for him. Instead of saying to himself, "Man. Am I a dick or something? Am I offending people?" he goes on the paranoid warpath, threatening the very people who might vote for him. Like he DESERVES to be there and they all know he's better than them and made to last longer. What. Evuh. Lindsey was like that too. Does he want to be like Lindsey?

I bet Lex isn't even his real name. I bet his real name is Doug. Or Steve.

-- Anonymous, December 07, 2001

So who do we think will get it this week? Will everyone turn on Lex once they realize he made a mistake (will they realize)?

-- Anonymous, December 10, 2001

Lex is lucky, lucky he won immunity. Pretty interesting that old Kim voted with Tom and Ethan and not Lex. Who's got the power now?

Oh, so great. But you know, I don't really care who wins.

As long as it's not Lex.

-- Anonymous, December 13, 2001

Okay Lex is an ass but at least he's not a misogynistic, homophobic, jignostic ass like Frank. I really actively dislike Frank. And Big Tom, despite making me laugh, came across as a raging chauvinist last night. So, you know, given the choice between the insane, tattooed but at least living in the 21st century Lex and the Man Brigrade I'll take Lex.

Although I really like how Theresa and Older Kim are just sailing along under the radar, ladidadida. Who would have thought after the first episode that Older Kim would be on the jury, let alone possibly going to the final four?

-- Anonymous, December 14, 2001

I was just glad to see that little fuck Brandon carry his ass on home...

And if I hear one more word from Lex about his gut, I may magically reach through my TV screen and rip his guts out.

I'm all about Theresa winning. Her accent just slays me. Love it, love her.

-- Anonymous, December 14, 2001

Lex and his immunity! I was actually sad to see Frank go, but T did the right thing. For a second there I was afraid it was going to be her. I really hope Kim J. wises up and sides with T. Then they can get rid of Lex. I don't care who the final 4 is, as long as Lex isn't one of them.

-- Anonymous, December 21, 2001

Right? I thought my man Ethan would carry all the immunities now. Especially those that involve making yourself trip while looking hot.

Tom's "he can't eat the ham 'cause he's a Jew" cracked me up because it didn't really matter what his religion is anyway as Ethan is a vegetarian. That had to have come up with the chicken and eggs around.

And why are they whining about corn soup and much when there are still 2 live chickens? Those chicken's ain't gonna get fatter and juicier people.

-- Anonymous, December 21, 2001

Shae, no doubt! What are they waiting for, not eating those chickens? Is somebody wanting to take them home with him as a souvenir or something???

I can't believe there's only ten or so days to go. Where are the jutting collarbones, the ropy veins and tendons, the walking corpses? Little Kim still has a bubble butt, for Pete's sake! I mean I'm glad they're not starving to death this year, but it's VERY different from the past two years.

I didn't get how T voting for Frank was a "strategic" vote. If she is voting for him to get in the good graces of the Boran alliance, it doesn't look very sincere to weep and cry about it.

-- Anonymous, December 21, 2001

I think she did it to show Kim J. that she's serious about the female alliance. But that's just a guess.

Yeah. Why aren't they eating the chickens? Or eggs?

-- Anonymous, December 21, 2001

I wonder if Lex will get a gut feeling this week that his ass will be voted off if he doesn't win immunity.

-- Anonymous, December 21, 2001

Wait, I think I missed something. Little Kim is gone? What happened? I mean, why did she get voted out?

-- Anonymous, January 03, 2002

Last week, when Tom won immunity and they didn't vote for Lex. What are they thinking?! I hate all of them. They can all suck me.

-- Anonymous, January 03, 2002

I thought for sure that T-Bird was going to be in the final four. And the finale is next week?

I'm still rooting for Ethan and his curly locks.

-- Anonymous, January 03, 2002

I knew Theresa was toast. I just wish to god Lex doesn't get immunity next week, because that will piss me off. I want his crazy ass out of there.

-- Anonymous, January 03, 2002

But even if he gets immunity, it won't mean much, right? Because the people on the jury still get to decide who wins? I forget how this crazy game ends.

-- Anonymous, January 03, 2002

True, but I dont want him to advance any further. And, if he gets to the final two, I think he gets like $100,000. My Ethan deserves that money.

-- Anonymous, January 03, 2002

Fucking Lex. I started off liking him and Ethan most and now I hate every speck of ink on his scrawny body. And his wife. I don't hate their kids because who can hate kids but the Tattooed Idiots I hate, loathe, despise.

Next week is the finale; apparently they figured out how boring the episode with just the final two was so next week is immunity challenge, vote that gets it to three (my prediction: Lex, Ethan, Tom, the boys club sticks together despite Tom being sneaky; unless Lex finally flubs up immunity in which case it's Ethan, Tom, KJ).

Immunity challenge for 3 remains, winner of that (Lex or Ethan I'd say) casts the only vote that takes it to two.

If Lex wins immunity he's in a tight place because everyone likes Tom and Ethan more than him and let's face it, anyone going into final two with Ethan is probably going to lose because so far no one has expressed anything even close to dislike to Ethan. Why? Because he's a curly headed soccer playing sex god. And he lives less than a half hour from me so hands off!

Then the jury comes and each gets to ask a question of (or in the case of crazy people make a speech to) the Final Two. Then the Final Two make their "vote for me!" speech. Then the jury votes.

Then they all leave Africa and they open the final live in LA like they did last year.

All in an hour. Unless the final episode goes to the vote and then the live thing is counted as Reunion episode or something.

-- Anonymous, January 04, 2002

I think the finale is 2 hours, but I could be wrong.

But seriously, is KJ just a huge idiot or what? Why they didn't rally and vote for Lex last week is still beyond me, and why they didn't really convince Lex and vote for Tom also gets me. KJ has to know that she's going to be the 4th out. There's NO way she'll win immunity. Unless she's counting on Tom and Ethan giving Lex a big fuck-you at the next vote, but the chances of Lex winning immunity are great. They're all so dumb.

-- Anonymous, January 04, 2002

I love that Kelly girl. Her shirt last night cracked me up - Lex was such an idiot to screw over so many voting jury members. Lex drives me nuts, and Ethan comes across as a really nice guy. Tom I can't figure out, and Kim? - I like her a lot. At least the final 4 won't be a complete group of jackasses - just Lex.

-- Anonymous, January 04, 2002

I love how Probst broke his own rule about how the jury cannot be addressed in any way, shape, or form, ever. Lex IS a complete dumbass. He is the one who should be ashamed, especially since Kelly did nothing wrong. Were you guys holding your breath the whole time Lex was at the hospital, waiting for his wife to jump out from behind a tree or something? I think Lex kept waiting for it.

There was no way T could convince Lex and the rest not to vote for her after she divulged that SHE was the one who had voted for Lex that time, and allowed him to vote off Kelly. I understand it was her only chance, but there was no way it would work. The original tribe bonds were too strong.

Kim has a chance at immunity if the next challenge is the traditional "how much do you know about your fellow survivors?" game. If she wins it, or Lex does not win immunity, she could take it all. I think Ethan will be one of the final two. I don't think there's much hope for Tom to make it to the final two. But like I said, historically, I've always been wrong.

-- Anonymous, January 04, 2002

Then again, T in the jury is more dangerous than T in the final 4, I think. You know? I hate Lex.

I think all that ink has gotten to him.

-- Anonymous, January 04, 2002

Why, why,*why*, does Lex insist on making everyone swear on their child's name?

Oh, this show is gonna kill me tonight.

-- Anonymous, January 10, 2002

I thought for SURE that KimJ would vote out Ethan. Good thing she didn't.

How totally lame. And Kelly's stupid little number thing didn't matter anyway, since it was 5-2 Ethan. (And how scary was SHE?)

-- Anonymous, January 10, 2002

I'm pretty sure I speak for all Kelly/Kelley/Kelli/Kellie/Kelis when I declare that she is by far the craziest and bitterest Kelly EVER.

-- Anonymous, January 10, 2002

I haven't watched until I went to Arkansas for Christmas break. I was laughing out loud when Kim won the immunity challenge and the other three guys were like "uh what now?"

-- Anonymous, January 10, 2002

Words can not express how upset I was when Ethan stepped off that stump. But then he won anyway. Love Ethan.

Did anyone else get totally faked out by the live reading of the votes? They started reading and I said, "Damn, they should have made them wait and do it live like last year, that was much cooler." And then people were yelling and I said, "Okay, why are they bringing in the sound from the reunion already?" It wasn't until they pulled the camera back that I realized that they were all a bit too clean and it was on stage.

Last night it really hit me how different being there and strategizing is from watching. Because they all liked Lex! Thought he was a great guy. Like KimJ said, the stuff the audience hates about Lex was said to the camera, not to them.

So anyone watching Season 4 with the "no food, no water, no fire, no provisions" thing? Because that intrigues me. Does it mean no reward challenges?

-- Anonymous, January 11, 2002

When KimJ was saying that she thought she would have a hard time beating Ethan or Lex my friends and I were like, WHAT? But then it made perfect sense when she said that at the reunion.

And it's true because all that throat-slitting, head cutting off, running around, I deserve to win, win win win crap WAS all said to the camera. But how did they miss his crazy eyes?

This season was lame. I couldn't have cared less about their dumb reunion.

-- Anonymous, January 11, 2002

Well, before my boyfriend Ethan and I run off to spend our million dollars, let me just say I am stoked about next season. I figure that the reason they are doing the no rations/no water/tough shit approach is because probably the island they chose has a lot more resources than the previous locations. It wouldn't be an interesting show if they went down there and got fat. That waterfall? I bet it's fresher than my tap water.

-- Anonymous, January 11, 2002