I can't believe it's almost October. Crazy!

I get phone call for job lead this morning! Man, maybe things ARE looking up for the Ladies of Leisure.

-- Anonymous, September 26, 2001

Answers

Well hot DAMN!

Also, the Skins just cut Jeff George.

-- Anonymous, September 26, 2001

Get OUT! I wonder if Chris knows this yet??

-- Anonymous, September 26, 2001

So Gay Jay never came back with another offer? Jag.

Have y'all STILL not gotten my mail? I'm mad. Allison, yours is officially lost.

-- Anonymous, September 26, 2001

Mike, I just called Chris, and for the first time in our relaitonship, I heard him squeal with glee.

-- Anonymous, September 26, 2001

No, he didn't. Clazy gymnastic man.

I still haven't gotten your mail, H! Surely it should be here by now...when did you mail it? Maybe you accidentally write Arlington, VA.

Oh, speaking of which, y'all--there was a message on our voicemail when we got home Sunday from one Brett Burdeshaw prank-calling from a Virginia area code. He was obviously drunk, and started off talking about how he liked to fuck farm animals-- for example, he fucked a sheep and it was so pretty he thought of me, but then this one time an emu bit his dick off so that was the end of that. Then he asked "Why do you like Chinese food, you fucking slant-eye Chink?" And then more with the chink and the slant-eye talk. Nice.

I wish I could find the little fucker and give him a, uh, stern talkin-to.

-- Anonymous, September 26, 2001

Dude, how do those people find you, AB?

T, the Berman household is pleased as well. Not because we think it's Jeff George's fault that the Redskins suck -- just because we hate him.

-- Anonymous, September 26, 2001

I wish I knew, Mike Berman. Because then I could maybe avoid them. Seriously, y'all--how DID they find me? The weird thing was, Brett started with all the sheep talk, then goes, "Wait...what?" Like he was talking to somebody in the background. THEN that's when he started with the chinky-chinky haha.

I mean, what did the other person say? "Hey, make sure you get some racial slurs in there, man! Isn't that what you called for?"

-- Anonymous, September 26, 2001

Why do they suck so? It makes me sad. Chris was talking to my cousin's Falcon DT boyfriend. He had something nice to say about every team, rationalizing their lack of many strong players because of the salary cap, etc., but when they got to the Redskins, Chris said that Shawn put his hand on Chris' shoulder and said, "Man, I don't know what to tell you. They just suck."

-- Anonymous, September 26, 2001

AB - I'm kind of slow - was this a READER who was prank calling you??

-- Anonymous, September 26, 2001

Your cousin is dating Shawn Swayda?

-- Anonymous, September 26, 2001

I don't see how it could be--they called our home phone, and I have my cell number listed on my registry info. I mean, do these people just search the phone listings for Chinese names? It is a mystery to me.

-- Anonymous, September 26, 2001

Mike - you know him? They've been dating for two years or so.

AB, that's bizarre.

Y'all, read the new Onion, if you haven't already. It offers some of the best commentary I've seen on American's reaction to the past two weeks, seriously. The article about God's press conference will be a classic.

-- Anonymous, September 26, 2001

Why would somebody prank call from Virginia to Texas? Is he a RICH racist asshole?

-- Anonymous, September 26, 2001

No, not personally. But I've heard of him.

The Onion? Best ever. The only thing keeping it from perfection is the lack of a Herbert Kornfeld column. I want to know what he thinks of the attacks.

-- Anonymous, September 26, 2001

I've only read the front page, but The Onion is fucking BRILLIANT.

"Hugging up 76,000 per cent"

And the part about the Gen X irony and sarcasm now being obsolete? "This can't last forever can it?"

-- Anonymous, September 26, 2001

Ooh - have you heard good things? Like Atlanta will keep him for a while and he won't take our cousin anywhere far away?

I'd love Jean Teasedale's take on the situation. I love their logo - "Attack On AMerica: Holy Fucking Shit."

-- Anonymous, September 26, 2001

Who knows?

The problem he'll have with the Falcons is a salary cap one. It's his fourth year in the league, so he's making pretty good money even if he's just making the NFL minimum, but if he doesn't get a chance to start they could move him somewhere else to save some cash. But that's just speculation on my part. I have no idea what the Falcons coaching staff thinks of him -- they must like him a lot to have kept him so long, and it's a pretty stable group, so he could indeed stick around for awhile.

-- Anonymous, September 26, 2001

But The Onion's also not supposed to make me cry. Damn.

-- Anonymous, September 26, 2001

Mike - I think they do like him. He's a steady player and he's been consistently improving. I know that he has the fears that you mentioned - he was worried about being cut when they did a round a few weeks ago for that exact reason - there was a less-experienced, lower-paid DT that he was competing with, in a sense.

-- Anonymous, September 26, 2001

He's lucky in one sense ... Reeves is a veteran coach, and IMO veteran coaches tend to like guys they can count on rather than untested rookies. It also helps that the Falcons have a low payroll, comparatively speaking.

He's a good illustration of the unknown side of sports -- yeah, you make good money, but you're always insecure about your job (of course, nowadays, aren't we all?).

-- Anonymous, September 26, 2001

Thankfully, he's really good wiht his money, to the point of being a miser. He drives an Expedition because he's a huge person, but also because my uncle got him a really good deal through Ford. He's astonished by how extravagantly some of the players live - he's all, "Don't they know that this will not last??"

But yeah, not a whole lot of job security there. I can't imagine how stressful that would be.

-- Anonymous, September 26, 2001

Well, in the football players' defense, they do exactly what everyone else does -- they live exactly within their means, without giving thought to how much they actually need. I mean, I actually save less money now (i.e., none, if you don't count the ever-decreasing 401k) than I did when I first got this job as a lowly intern out of college. Of course, that's because I have an apartment instead of sharing a house with seven other people in Adelphi, but still.

Obviously the big differences are 1.) They make a ton of money, even earning the minimum and 2.) The injury risk alone is so great that they should know to sock as much as possible away for the future.

And yeah, I always wonder at the people who write about the huge cars in the players parking lot as though they were some sort of decadent luxury. Dude, even the Washington kicker probably is too big to fit in a Chevy Cavalier.

-- Anonymous, September 26, 2001

What? I come back from lunch and no new posts? What?

AB - I can not BELIEVE that crazy guy. So clazy! Mike lives in VA aaaand he's the Bermanator. So there you go.

-- Anonymous, September 26, 2001

But I'm much more creative. So there!

-- Anonymous, September 26, 2001

No, she was looking for someone to kick his ass. You're the Bermanator. You do it.

-- Anonymous, September 26, 2001

Ooh, never thought about that. Bermanator, what sorts of implements of destruction do you have on hand?

-- Anonymous, September 26, 2001

I have a hockey stick right here at my desk, and a softball bat and some golf clubs in the trunk.

-- Anonymous, September 26, 2001

Otherwise, a sports artillery.

-- Anonymous, September 26, 2001

Hey, a sports artillery is better than no artillery at all. Can I get an Amen?

It might even be better.

-- Anonymous, September 26, 2001

I should say so!

-- Anonymous, September 26, 2001

T - Catherine from the wedding thread is my reader who went to Miami, and also on the Junior League board here in Columbus.

I thought you cut your guest list??

-- Anonymous, September 26, 2001

Bless her heart. I'm just in cynical wedding mode now, I think.

For true, though, I don't know a single person who started out with only the best intentions who didn't end up with planning hell.

-- Anonymous, September 26, 2001

I'm assuming it just goes with the territory.

Why must a MBTV recap be THIRTEEN pages long? I understand that they're going for page views here but it's beyond annoying. Especially when half the time the page doesn't load.

-- Anonymous, September 26, 2001

That's exactly why I don't read MBTV anymore. It takes as long to read the recap as it would to watch the show.

AB - did you find a good fare to Chicago?

-- Anonymous, September 26, 2001

Did y'all read that Flaya's boyfriend just bought a brand new Acura? I thought they were saving up for a trailer.

-- Anonymous, September 26, 2001

Not yet, T. I still look for good fare!

Ha! Y'all, check it out:

http://www.uiuc.edu/ro/tia/tia96/Official.htm#chao

Anytime you want to talk about Jesus, kids. Anytime.

-- Anonymous, September 26, 2001

Hahahaha. You were such a cute baby!

I have a reader from uiuc, I wonder if it's her.

-- Anonymous, September 26, 2001

Joh - I read that! I was shocked. They both work for Dell, they could easily be laid off at any time, and they're going to park this (leased, I'm sure) giant Acura in front of their TRAILER??

There's this think called "living within your means." She should try it sometime.

-- Anonymous, September 26, 2001

Y'all, I have writer's block something fierce. Beyond just my stupid journal. Even at work. My creativity's at an all time record low. (Like the weather.)

Where's Al today??

-- Anonymous, September 26, 2001

What are you trying to write?

-- Anonymous, September 26, 2001

Shit for work. For graphics. I think it's because I'm DUMB.

-- Anonymous, September 26, 2001

You'd be DUMB if you parked your Acura in front of a trailer. You're just distracted.

-- Anonymous, September 26, 2001

Oooo, checking in at this late hour, Al Lowe.

I was only supposed to work half a day at the temp place, but the whole staff was out sick, so the boss (Ms. Allison) kept me for the whole day.

This lady, y'all... it's so weird. She is so unbelievably crass at times. She dog cussed one of her employees on the phone today while was IN THE ROOM. Then, she called the other employee and talked bad about the first girl, saying at one point that she was "so fucking stupid."

HELLO? I was amazed. For some reason, she loves me. Normally, that would not make me feel good about working for an abusive person, even if she is not abusing me, but I am in no position to get all indignant.

So, I guess I'll keep going back in if they need me. Meanwhile, I sit and wait for the interview people to call on Friday. I won't cry if I don't get it, but I'll feel like crying. Hell. I'll probably cry.

Hannah! I GOT THE PACKAGE! Today! Finally! It's great!

-- Anonymous, September 26, 2001

Yay!!!! Finally. I'm so glad. Word on the street was that it was offically lost.

Y'all, my dog is such a scardey baby. She was all rubbing her face on the carpet and her butt hit the door, thus causing it to move and, horror, make a noise. She runs away with her tail tucked. Pussy.

-- Anonymous, September 26, 2001