Good morning, sweet things.

How were y'all's weekends?

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2001

Answers

Good. Except we still have a mouse. And Fancy needs a new battery because I apparently ran it down AGAIN, and it will take a charge and I can drive it somewhere, but once I turn it off, I can't start it again without another charge. So, Fancy is with the VW man.

And did I mention that we STILL have a mouse, and last night, it pooped all over my cookbooks. So sad. It isn't enticed by my mousetraps, and they're loaded wiht asiogo cheese, and everything.

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2001

Try peanut butter. That worked on the last mouse in the Berman household.

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2001

Peanut butter worked on the mouse we had in our old house, too. Try it, T!

Meredith did a guest entry for me. She make me laugh.

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2001

Good morning!

I still feel like the victim of chemical warfare, but I am awake.

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2001

I'll try the peanut butter tonight. We've decided that the mouse must be starving - it hasn't gotten into any food, and we never leave anythign out, and Mysterio is gone for the week, so there isn't any food in his room either. I thought about peanut butter on Saturday night, Mouse Kill Attempt #1, but then decided it would be too messy to deal with.

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2001

Poor Al. You still feel like ass, my love?

Where is the irrepressible H?

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2001

I feel very, very much like ass.

Even the fact that the MOC wore his $7 jacket to work today doesn't make me feel better.

I have that second interview today at 4. Four is laaaaaaate. Interviewing is hard!

Meanwhile, I am trying to survive by watching Zaboomafoo and eating waffles.

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2001

Have any of y'all ever been to Hot Springs, Arkansas? I'm going there the weekend of the 20th, and I have no clue where to stay.

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2001

T, the Lowes went to Hot Springs one time on this driving trip they made to Texas via Missouri (long trip), and they were so mortified by the locals they drove several more hours in the dark to the Texas side of Texarkana because they would not sleep in the state of Arkansas.

Now, I don't know if you've ever been to Texarkana... but choosing it over Hot Springs has got to mean something pretty bad.

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2001

I am here!

Y'all America West is having CRAZY sales.

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2001

I've been to Hot Springs, T, but I forget where we stayed. I do know there's a really good Thai restaurant there. Thai food in Arkansas: wonders never cease.

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2001

Huh. I'll have to check the Thai food out.

I think all the airlines are going to start having sales. As y'all know, I'm a whore for Delta SkyMiles, so hopefully they'll start their fare sales soon.

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2001

I can fly to the west coast, direct, on any day I want, for 178. That's insane.

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2001

Yeah, I was looking at fares yesterday and this morning. It's cheaper to fly to LA or Las Vegas than Atlanta. How messed up is that?

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2001

That's because Delta rules all fares into and out of Atlanta, and until they lower their fares - which will be soon, I bet - no other airline will cut theirs.

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2001

So AB, I've officially named you as my ambassador for JournalCon. I'm trusting you to represent!

Wiz-zards tickets went on sale today, in celebration of MJ's return. I'm strangely uninspired to buy some.

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2001

Except AW. They upped their ATL-Columbus routes. And their Dallas-Columbus routes. I think they did it for MATH.

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2001

Yay! Fancy just needed a new battery. Because, see, what I had did was, I had let the battery run down too many times, and that had made the car need a new battery. Better than a new alternator, though - that would had sucked.

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2001

Yay for Fancy!

T - did you find a nice white shirt? I didn't end up looking for shoes.

Do y'all have plans for New Year's yet?

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2001

New Year's?! I don't have set plans for Friday!

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2001

Does this mean you can fly to Journalcon, H?

I don't have plans for Friday, either, but I have big plans for my yard. I just went out and purchased a Louisiana orange tree. It's fabulous.

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2001

I, for one, have plans for Friday (but not for New Year's). This Friday, I meet the Parents of Cheese. Aaaaaaaghhhhh!!!

I am pretending that's not happening so I can make it through today - because I have that second interview at 4. And I can't quit coughing and...well, it's one of those coughs that cause alarm in everyone around me.

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2001

Y'all better all be at lunch to ignore those two big pieces of news.

AB, don't you have an interview today? What time? And where?

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2001

Really?! I was wondering when you'd meet them. Are they just coming for a visit??

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2001

Yes, they're coming Friday and staying through Monday or Tuesday. Chris hasn't seen them since Christmas. I am wigging, sort of.

They are just not my sort of people - and I mean that in the best way - like, they seem so NORMAL. I am afraid of them.

Oh, and they're going to meet the Lowes, which ought to be HILARIOUS.

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2001

I'm supposed to, but the lady didn't call me back! Damn her to hell.

I can't wait to hear about the Parents of Cheese.

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2001

Wow. That's a big weekend. The parents getting together.

Oh, they'll love you.

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2001

But y'all... the biggest part is that they're meeting the Lowes, you know? It's really going to be way too funny. I think Chris will probably stroke out.

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2001

Oh my - I didn't realize that the Huffs were meeting the Lowes! Is everyone staying at your house?

My sister Jane might be coming in this weekend, which will be fun.

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2001

It could be worse, A-Lo.

I met the gf's family last week -- at "Break the Fast", which is a fancy way of saying dinner on Yom Kippur night after everyone hasn't eaten for 24 hours and is especially tired and cranky.

It turned out fine, because everyone was so focused on shovelling food into their mouths that there wasn't much conversation. But I spent most of the time in synogoge beforehand asking God what in the heck I was thinking.

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2001

Mike, I'm sure you made a great impression and they loved you. I mean, what's not to love?

Maybe they shouldn't meet the Lowes... I don't know. We're going to take them to Helen to Octoberfest and have my parents meet us there. So, it will be pretty casual... with shopping... and sausage. I don't know. Tomorrow, after I have this interview (!!!!!!) today, I will begin to worry about it in earnest.

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2001

I have a good feeling about today, Al.

You can't go wrong with hokey Helen. I mean, you'll be in a mock Alpine village eating sausage, chocolate, and drinking lots and lots of beer. What's not to love?? It's a peace-conducive atmosphere.

Mike, you MUST tell us more about meeting the gf's (she's the gf? How did I miss that development??) parents. I mean, for real. And If I'm going to share Chris' Saturday Night Stripper Adventure, I think it's only fair that you share more details about Yom Kippur. Or something.

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2001

Seriously, Mike.

I can only assume, T, that you found Chris passed out in the yard on Sunday morning.

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2001

Actually, he made it home around 1 a.m. I was still setting the mousetraps when he stumbled in, all drunk and riled up, if you know what I mean, and I think you do. I was all, "Baby, just because you're all riled up because four lesbian strippers were getting it on in the same room as you and 30 other men doesn't mean you're getting laid any time soon."

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2001

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

"He who hangs out with lesbian strippers, goes to bed alone." It's in Deuterononmy.

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2001

Hee. Did you tell him to go sleep it off on the VW?

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2001

Really, there's not a whole lot to tell -- it was a weeknight, so nobody stayed too late. I actually talked to her grandmother more than anyone else in the family (which is good -- I'm usually a big hit with the grandmothers. It's their granddaughters who cause the problems. Heh).

Plus "Friends" was on, so the kids all sat in front of the television watching NBC.

Is that enough to be adequate payment for Chris's Saturday Night Adventure?

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2001

Oh, and guess who we saw in concert last night?

No, guess!

Hint -- the group I was with were the youngest people at the MCI Center, I think.

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2001

Neil Diamond?

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2001

Hannah Merrill, I promise to stop calling Miss Cleo and start using you for all my psychic needs.

We did, indeed, see Neil. I decided that next time I karaoke, I'm definitely doing "Forever in Blue Jeans."

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2001

I'm the smartest!

I love that Gap ad where Will Ferrel is Neil. "I wrote this on the back of a Dixie cup. . "

Speaking of, did y'all watch SNL?

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2001

I did, and was very unimpressed (although I missed the opening, which I heard was good).

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2001

Oh! I LOVE Neil Diamond! And I also like Johnny Cash covers of Neil Diamond songs.

Mercy. Sunday morning I said, "Now Chris, tell me. If I can home all riled up because of some hot guy who was not you, would you want to sleep with me?" At that point, he hid his head in his pillow.

He came in on Saturday night all drunk and cigar-breathed and the first thing he said was, "I wasn't tawdry at all. I didn't even sit down. Because see, if you sat down, one of them would sit on your lap. So I didn't sit down. I did light one's cigarette, though. She was naked. Nowhere to put her lighter, and all."

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2001

Come ON! How can y'all L_L me after that post?

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2001

Where WAS this bachelor party? A hotel?

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2001

It started out at Chops, the Testosterone Steakhouse (where sweet Chris was made fun of because he ordered fish, and he had to explain that he has a sensitive tummy - although I'm sure he didn't use those words) and then it moved to someone's penthouse (how appropriate), which is where the strippers were.

Y'all. His boss, the groom, had $60,000 worth of dental work on Friday. Can you imagine??

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2001

Did he get a new jaw?

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2001

I have no idea. I was shocked. They're also spending $60K for the wedding. Chris was pissed because he ended up spending around $220 total Saturday night - $120 for the strippers and his share of the limo that he didn't even ride in, and $100 for his dinner - Chop's ain't cheap. He and his friends were PISSED - they weren't even told what this thing would cost until Thursday, way after they had all RSVP'd, and they didn't find out about paying for dinner until dinner.

Last night he asked me if I thought I could drink $110 worth of liquor at the wedding, because he planned to and hoped that I would, too.

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2001

Is the wedding this weekend?

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2001

{{{{****HUGS FOR ME****}}}}

I got a J to the O to the B.

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2001

Al!!! CONGRATS!!!! PRAISES!!!!!!

What are you going to be doing?

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2001