It's now a month since the terrorist attacks rocked the United States -- since, to quote a series we used to watch in high schoo history class -- "The Day The Universe Changed".

How has your personal universe changed since September 11.

-- Anonymous, October 10, 2001

Answers

I live in Idaho, which is probably the least likely place for a future terrorist attack to occur, so its not really affecting me personally that way. However, I do have a friend that I went to high school with that is leaving for Afghanistan later this week. It's strange to think that only two years ago he and I were skipping second period to go smoke and get a pepsi, and now hes going to blow things up in the middle east. My other friend thats in the national guard is still up in the air about where he is going the week after thanksgiving...it could be Bosnia or Afghanistan or some other random place. He just doesn't know.

I guess my generation is finally getting a wake up call.

-- Anonymous, October 10, 2001

Is it wrong that I feel like my life hasn't changed at all?

I didn't know anybody who died in the tragedy, and I only know two people who live in/around New York. I'd never seen the WTC except in movies. Closest I've been to NY was Boston.

I'd have no problem getting aboard an airplane. I don't think I'd think twice about it. (In fact, I'd really like to get aboard an airplane for the purpose of skydiving, but that's a different story).

I don't mean to seem incompassionate (no, that's not a real word), but it hasn't really affected me any more than the gulf war did. I'm a bit perturbed that the already poor job market has gone from bad to worse, but I'm afraid I can't relate to the feelings of insecurity that many americans are facing.

In my mind, it is *safer* to travel now than ever. The security measures are tight. I'd rather hop on a plane tomorrow than in 6 months when the security personnel lose their vigilance.

Feel free to send hatemail.

-- Anonymous, October 11, 2001

Well, this morning on the Q train it seemed as if everyone around me turned towards the doors and windows to look out on lower Manhattan . . . you could almost hear us all thinking, "A month ago at this time they were still there."

I suppose living in New York is not the greatest idea right now, considering that everyone is saying there will be further attacks. My roommate and I are planning to have dinner at an Afghan restaurant on Saturday. The latest issue of New York had an article nothing the gap between people downtown, who can't go home or saw the towers fall or worked in one of the offices, etc., and those uptown, who might as well be living in another city.

-- Anonymous, October 11, 2001

Fred - I don't think it's wrong to say or feel like your life hasn't changed.

My day to day existence hasn't changed either, really. I just watch the news more.

However, I'm more sensitive. Certain things will trigger tears. And I just booked a flight today and for the first time in my LIFE I'm actually petrified at the thought of getting on that plane. It's irrational, I know, but the fear is intense.

-- Anonymous, October 11, 2001

I'm having nightmares about biological warfare. My trip to Vegas was cancelled when my stepmother heard that Vegas was originally one of the targeted cities. I think a lot about how glad I am that we live out in the boonies.

I guess there are no real changes in my daily routine, just sudden times of anxiety that weren't there before.

-- Anonymous, October 11, 2001

I'm having nightmares about biological warfare

This morning when I heard about the 3rd reported case of anthrax I felt a bit woozy. I don't think I'll be re-reading The Stand OR any of the Left Behind books any time soon, that's for sure.

-- Anonymous, October 11, 2001

It's effected me the most in that a month ago I would have been shocked that anyone would actually read those Left Behind books. Now I'm starting to wish I knew where my Bible was because the feeling that none of this - the plane crashes (most recently in Alaska now), the Anthrax, the war - is ever going to stop and we are in the end times and I may just need to get my butt into a church right fast won't go away.

-- Anonymous, October 11, 2001

Actually, the Left Behind series is quite good, actually. But I don't think any reputable Bible scholar would say we're in end times. From the little that I know of biblical prophecy, nothing that's happening really matches.

The world has known frightening times before and it will know them again. I just wish I didn't have to know them, as selfish as that is.

-- Anonymous, October 11, 2001

I was irritated this morning as I read cnn.com's headline: One month later, America remembers.

Did anyone actually forget?

I'm amused all the time when I hear people saying that Cincinnati is a "major target" for terrorists. I'm worried about my safety during flights, but not that something will happen in a third-rate city. And right now, I'm not worried that anything will happen in Chicago. Maybe this makes me a stupid American, but when the people you're fighting only have 34 military aircrafts, I get a little cocky.

The anthrax thing on the other hand, scares the shit out of me. This is one of those things that I do believe could happen anywhere, and this warfare would happen slowly but surely. This is more difficult to protect myself from. Who knows if some university student wants the respect of some wacko 6,000 miles away and puts the crap in the air filters of the buildings or on the library keyboards. The more I don't know, the more I fear.

I wish my personal relationships would have changed for the better, but I can only change myself, right? Still, there's this glimmer of hope that someone is going to turn the direction of their shitty life into something positive after seeing that our time here is short and we need to make the best of what we've got.

-- Anonymous, October 11, 2001

I am going on a business trip to Minneapolis in two weeks. Before Sept. 11, I would view such a prospect with mild annoyance and inconvenience (I don't much like to travel for vacation, let alone work). Now I am absolutely terrified. I have basically decided to take a $600 loss on my purchased tickets and drive ten hours rather than get on a plane. Seconds after I opened an envelope from the conference I'm attending, I freaked out: what if it had anthrax dust in it? It makes no sense, but a lot of my free-floating anxiety has settled on this business trip. I feel very secure in my home, in my city, going through my regular routine. I am not afraid for my safety in general here and my normal life hasn't really been disrupted by Sept. 11. But when it comes to travelling on a plane or spending time in a strange city, hell yeah my life and psyche have been disrupted. I don't want to do it AT ALL under any circumstances.

-- Anonymous, October 11, 2001

In that sense, Slick, we have always been living in the end times. I wouldn't call modern times worse than, say, the mid-14th century, when one-third of Europe's population died of the plague, or the early 19th century -- I was in a cemetery in Edinburgh on Tuesday, and I saw a family grave, where the father had lived to be 80 in 1830 or so and not one of his seven kids had outlived him.

Consider the early-mid 1980s: AIDS was just getting started; it seemed there was at least one major plane crash a year; urban crime in many cities was much worse than it is now; cocaine was in vogue; Americans overseas were in danger of being taken hostage by all sorts of different groups (they are now too, but in more concentrated areas, such as Colombia or Chechnya), and so on and so forth.

I'm not trying to make light of your fear -- I was in much the same mood the first few days after -- but I don't think we should all start panicking. Even if another terrorist attack never happened, any of us could slip while walking down the sidewalk, hit our head just the wrong way, and never get up. So it goes.

But if it'll make you feel better to read your Bible, then by all means read it. I'm just saying there's no greater evidence that the sun will fall out of the sky now than there was in 1348 or 1793 or 1848 or 1915.

-- Anonymous, October 11, 2001

I never said it was a rational fear or that living now is any better or worse than any other time.

I said what I feel. It's how I feel, it's what I know. I grew up in a hell-fire, brimstone, Jesus is coming SOON, perhaps today and that rock and roll song you are listening to is going to damn you to hell church. In times of trouble I turn to what little faith I have left and I wonder if I'm really missing the boat leaving that all behind.

The anthrax shit scares me. The war scares me. All of these plane crashes that keep happening scare me. My co-worker, a 35 year old woman in amazing health, having a heart attack Saturday, not waking up until Monday, and now not showing any signs of any heart damage scares the shit out of me.

Sorry if people turning to faith offends you but I don't think a patronizing "read your Bible if you must" dismisal of how I feel is warranted. Mike asked how my universe changed and that's how it changed for me. What I'm dealing with isn't what you are dealing with. I wouldn't dare to presume to tell you how to deal with being in NY and feeling what you feel and I expect you to give me the same respect.

I'm not freaking out, I'm not panicing, I'm not carrying "The End Times They Are Here" signs, I'm not changing travel plans. I'm just worrying more and praying more and pulling out my hair more.

Oh, and my sympathy for people who died ages ago when my grandparents weren't even alive is pretty much at nil right now. My worries and thoughts and fears and, yes, prayers are with the people whose lives are being torn apart right now. I'll worry about the victims of the plague some other time.

-- Anonymous, October 11, 2001

The events of Sept 11 haven't changed how I live my life, mainly because they were such an aberration of the norm. Although it was shocking and unexpected, it was no more so than the countless other ways a life can come quickly to an end.

In fact, at least going by the numbers, I'm sure there are things I do in my daily routine that put my life more at risk than getting on an airplane. I don't think I would be more concerned about getting on an airplane than before because, despite what has happened, it is still safer than driving long distances. It just doesn't seem that way right now. If the terrorists had executed a plan that involved Amtrack or Greyhound or the national highway system, I'm sure everyone would be afraid to take those modes of transportation.

Airport safety reports for years had been saying that security was not what it should be, but we all got on planes without a fear in the world because nothing had happened. Now that something has happened, and the randomness with which it did happen, we are all scared that something this random could happen to ME if I got on a plane. But we could just as randomly get hit by a car driving to work or slip in the shower. And given the increase in security at airports, it is probably much safer to fly now than before.

-- Anonymous, October 11, 2001

And the problems of online communication strike yet again . . .

Slickery, I wasn't trying to be patronizing; you sounded genuinely freaked out in your last post, and I was hoping that pointing out that there have been disasters in other times would help. Obviously I went about it the wrong way.

-- Anonymous, October 11, 2001

I am in NYC. I lost a lot of friends. I didn't read that New York piece, but I don't feel like I am living in a different city because I am uptown. I don't really know how to explain it, if I could I would write about it. I write and discard, write and discard. I don't have words for this. I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop, I guess.

-- Anonymous, October 11, 2001

Sara, I'm really sorry . . . damn, nothing I say is coming out right today. I'm just going to shut up.

-- Anonymous, October 11, 2001

I'm sorry too, WB. I've been over-reacting to shit hugely the past few weeks and you were caught in the crossfire.

-- Anonymous, October 11, 2001

Slickery, have I changed gender, or are you apologizing to the network that you followed Buffy to UPN?

Sorry -- that just made me grin.

-- Anonymous, October 11, 2001

WG, don't give it a second thought. I was disagreeing with NY Mag, not with you. :)

-- Anonymous, October 11, 2001

My life hasn't really changed that much, except that I have a potential job offer in the works as a direct result of The Incident.

It feels a little freaky and morbid to me, but if it pans out, I'm snapping it up, since I'm sick to death of stagnating at my current place of employment.

-- Anonymous, October 12, 2001

I had four people laid off in my office yesterday, and in the announcement the CEO made it clear that we were doing okay-if-not- great before Sept. 11th, but took a tumble afterwards.

Slickery, I really am sorry -- I keep coming off as a boor.

-- Anonymous, October 12, 2001

How my five-year-olds universe has changed:

Driving home from running errands we saw an ambulance with lights and sirens going and he said "It's taking someone from New York City."

(Our city is in the landing path of a major airport) Two days ago when I picked him up from daycare he was adamant that there was an airplane going by with bad guys on it. The plane was going down and it was going to crash into a building.

I don't think he's obsessing on it by any means, but he's certainly aware. Wow.

-- Anonymous, October 12, 2001

Well I've definitely developed a severe case of hypochondria. I currently have a sore throat and it's allabout anthrax. I am in Florida. There was white powder in the hall of my apartment last week (probably the maintenance people vaccuming the carpeted hallway . . . ahhh . . . .carpet fresh) Doesn't matter, I'm having anthrax angst.

I also have this urge to come back to DC. DC come to me!!!!

-- Anonymous, October 14, 2001

I travel a lot for my job - I flew to Arkansas last Thursday, I'm flying there again on Saturday, and again in November. I'm going to Louisiana twice this month, and I'm flying into Reagan National on the 23rd. And really, my main concern is whether I'll accumulate enough Skymiles to make Medallion status by the end of the year.

Flying used to freak me out. Some of the things Hannah Beth wrote about in a recent entry - the fact that humans just should not hurtle through the atmosphere in aluminum tubes - have terrified me. We'll take off and I'll be there saying the Rosary in my head, pausing between decades to think, "Holy shit, I should not be doing this. Now, I'm much, much calmer. More at peace, maybe? I don't know. The turbulence doesn't bother me, the listing of the plane after takeoff doesn't phase me. I'm even able to sleep during the flight.

One thing I am very ashamed of, though: at Delta gates, at least, they have been sending people away to be scanned prior to boarding the plane. I don't know how Delta decides who gets the extra scan and carry-on check - so far as I could tell, they were checking anyone with a foreign passport. There was an Arabic couple waiting to board the plane, and they were sent to be scanned. They eneded up sitting across from me on the plane, and I thought things that I never thought I would think. Were they terrorists? Would they do something rash? My thoughts were totally absurd, and unfortunately, that's probably the greatest change in my life since the attacks. I've always stared at people, but now I stare and think, "Are they capable?"

-- Anonymous, October 15, 2001

so far as I could tell, they were checking anyone with a foreign passport

I think this is pretty accurate, as a girl in my department was traveling with one of our designers this weekend, and she said he got EXTRA searched, because he has a U.K. passport. So I think it's anyone without a U.S.A. passport, even if they're from our closest allied country.

-- Anonymous, October 15, 2001

Interestingly enough, considering how many home-grown terrorists we've had, I didn't receive extra attention either flying within or out of the UK.

-- Anonymous, October 15, 2001