Because I'm at work for another 45 minutes and bored. What's in your bag?

I'll tell y'all what is in mine, in case you care:

-Kate Spade organizer -cell phone -4 Marlboro lights and lighter -change purse (empty) -journal -pens (five) -Burt's Bees Lip Balm -Nars lip gloss (three) -hair brush -keys -reading material for the bus: "Being John Malkovich" (the screenplay) and "Venture of Islam (Volume One: The Classical Age of Islam)" -school stuff: the short script I am writing on disk and printed out, and a copy of the monologue I have to perform this week - Origins pressed powder -my WW points calculator

What about y'all? Anything dirty? Gross? Weird?

-- Anonymous, October 15, 2001

Answers

I'll play.

What's in my bag? Let me check.

Kheil's Lip Balm #1; Stila Pocket palette Quad No. 1; A paperback version of Dicken's A Tale of Two cities; prescription bottle with happy pills; little cheap black wallet, Elph 260 Camera for impromptu Kodak moments; Clinique's Black Honey lipstick; random pens; tons of spare change sitting in the bottom.

-- Anonymous, October 15, 2001

In my big bag: my laptop and power cord; CD player and earphones; about five CDs; can of soup for lunch; can of apricot halves for morning tea; apple and orange for yesterday's morning tea; metal pencil case with 6 (I think) metallic pens; an old payslip that's probably illegible by now; yesterday's photocopied crossword; three pens; a Fruit and Nut bar from when I thought I had the flu (chocolate is good for the flu); my winter gloves; a hankie; a cassette tape of unknown provenance; a packet of Post-it notes from the stationery cupboard; a hairbrush; at least one pair of earrings.

In my little bag: mobile phone, keys, wallet; little mirror; two different kinds of hayfever tablets; $1 emergency can-of-diet-Coke money; pass card for the office; some business cards; one concert ticket and three football tickets; a comb; two pens; a nail file; last weekend's shopping list; a piece of paper with measurements for my bedroom cupboard; a perfume card with Fahrenheit on it; the earrings I wore to aikido yesterday and forgot to put on afterwards; two hair bands; about five hair slides.

I have three months' worth of receipts in my wallet.

-- Anonymous, October 16, 2001

What *should* be in my bag: my Filofax-type organiser. I'm not even organised enough to keep track of my organiser.

-- Anonymous, October 16, 2001

Hmm. Today: wallet; cell phone; home keys; office keys; one small plastic jar of Body Shop lip gloss; Palm Vx; sunglasses; checkbook; envelope from insurance company and envelope from lab so I can fight with both of them about why a routine doctor's visit brought me a bill of $400; disk with backup files; lighter that no longer works; envelope containing checks I have to deposit; Virgin pen and memo pad; International Youth Travel Card information; a couple silly postcards left over from London. I have my knitting in a separate bag.

-- Anonymous, October 16, 2001

In the side pocket:

cell phone, body shop hemp lip stuff, Hardlucy scratch CD, Journalcon pictures, airline ticket stubs, leftover swag, keys, J. Crew too-big sunglasses, Journalcon nametag that the delicious Dana made, about thirty-seven slips of paper.

In the purse proper:

powder, Stila lip gloss, Cargo lip gloss, Clinique lip gloss, Aveda lip gloss. (Do I like lip gloss or what?) Other people's swag, smack talk notebook, torn up Kenneth Cole wallet, roll of film, and a very large pharmacopoeia.

-- Anonymous, October 16, 2001

Blue embroidered wallet full of receipts and 40 pounds of coins; one pink Mary Kay pressed powder compact; one finger pot of lip gloss that smells like pumkin pie; one finger pot of carmex; one wand tube of gloss; one pack of Camel Ultra Light 100s; three lighters; 1 tin cinnamon altoids.

Then my purse is inside my totebag containing my Healthy Choice lunch, my meds, my vitamins, my tampons, my maxipads, my keys, my package of moleskin, my extra Camel Ultra Light 100s, and an extra box of Nat Shermans. There are two hair clips and a cloth band hanging off the straps.

-- Anonymous, October 16, 2001

Not much, since I HAD to have that cute, red Guess? purse, which is MUCH smaller on the inside that I thought.

Wallet (minus a ton of i.d. and credit cards since I couldn't get it to fit other wise), checkbook, Bath & Body Works Lip Moisturizer, two pens, Cell phone, office key set, truck & home key set.

Sitting in a pile, waiting to find a home are the above-mentioned i.d. & credit cards, a Coach leather Palm case with my Palm Pilot inside, pens & all my lip glosses.

-- Anonymous, October 16, 2001

Robyn, thank God! I thought I was going to be the only girl who carried emergency period supplies?

In my purse. Side pockets: business cards, Jerry Seinfeld ticket stub, work access card, Clean & Clear oil slick papers. Middle pocket: tampon, drugs, two different mocha-flavored lip glosses. In the actual purse: wallet, including book of checks and $36 in cash. Little makeup bag chock full of lipsticks and lipglosses, mostly Clinique. Clinique pressed powder. Car keys. Miscellaneous receipts. Two pens. Cork from 1st wedding anniversary wine bottle. Roll of film from Vegas in APRIL that still needs to be developed. And just in case you thought I wasn't 65 years old, two envelopes full of clipped coupons.

-- Anonymous, October 16, 2001

OK, so I don't have a bag. At least not one I take out in public. But here is what I have in my wallet.

No cash. At all. Three ATM receipts. The well worn and tattered SSN card I got when I ws 12. My GaTech ID card. My GA DL. Two credit cards. A San Antonio Public Library card. My prescription card. A tiny piece of paper my stoner friends bestowed on me when I was 15 that states I am a full member of "The Bong Hitters of America." (I keep it to remind me of my wild youth in deepest, darkest suburbia.). A Tip Chart.

That's it.

-- Anonymous, October 16, 2001

My purse is an itty-bitty shoulder bag, so I also don't have much in it. Well, after eyeing this list, that doesn't sound true, but it's all little stuff mostly. I boggle to imagine y'all carrying around full screenplays, cans of soup, a martini shaker...

a $5 ....the Neutrogena Norwegian hand cream ....half-empty tube, Kiehl's lip balm ....TerraTints SPF 18 tinted lip blam (good stuff)....bottle of Advil ....one OB (yall aren't the only ones with the girly supplies, but mine is left over from the last go-round, not an actual 'just-in-case' thing... nobody ever wants to borrow an OB anyway) ....naked checkbook (no cover, with the carbons all curling up and blue and funky) .....cigarette case, which actually holds the drivers license, credit cards and business cards ....Marlboro Ultra Lights ....green plastic lighter ....matches from The Bar .....matches from Kenichi ....a black plastic chip clip ...a black cotton scrunchie ....a loose Metabolife so old it's turned black ....keys ....a scrap of paper with AB's cell phone number on it (for the drunk dialing at JournalCon, you know) ....cell phone ....cell phone headset thingy ....empty 35mm film canister ....the requisite purse lint.

-- Anonymous, October 16, 2001

Aidan, it's actually Princess Week for me right now. I only wish I were smart enough to have emergency supplies! Instead, it catches me by surprise every time and then I carry around enough tampax to stock the Red Tent for months. Happy medium? Never heard of it.

Somehow, I completely forgot to mention my makeup bag, containing every bit of makeup I might need to look professional, sophisticated, or crack whorey.

-- Anonymous, October 16, 2001

. . . matches from Kenichi . . .

Were they signed by Mr Chen himself?

-- Anonymous, October 16, 2001

A Tip Chart.

Of course you do. Hee. I like to imagine that it says The MOC's Tip Cheat Sheet and that you made it on a spreadsheet and laminated it.

I barely carry anything around since I switch bags so often. But today in my bag I have - cell phone, checkbook, keys, J. Crew magic wallet with all my cards (including my Walt Disney World ticket/card from August 2000) in it and 0 cash, and my adorable $5 Old Navy striped make-up bag (Cargo lip gloss in Walla Walla, Lorac lip gloss in Lucious, MAC lip glass, MAC lipglass in Oh baby, Bonne Belle Lip Shake in Berry-Berry swirl [which is actually Allison's], 2 lip brushes, Blistex, MAC studio fix, MAC lip liner in plum, powder brush, blush brush, Stila Eye Gloss, #6 Stila All Over Shimmer, Sephora blush in fade, MAC blush in Prism, Smashbox eye shadow duo, black eyeliner, 3 tampons (not really emergency, just left in there) and $4 Maybelline mascara. What do I use on a daily basis? Sephora blush, Blistex and mascara. Why do I carry it ALL around ALL the time? I'm a girl. Oh, and my ortho tri-cyclen in a snazzy leopard print compact [given to me by my doctor. I'm not that big a loser.]) edited to add more crap because I'm anal.

-- Anonymous, October 16, 2001

I need a bigger purse. Mine has a wallet with ID, credit cards and cash. Two checkbooks. Savings account passbook. Home, car and office keys. Four lipsticks. Cell phone. Two tampons. Blush, lipgloss, and lipliner. Sunglasses. Tin of Altoids. Two pens... one of which doesn't work. Various recipts, paycheck stub, bank statement. Bath and Body Works Antibacterial hand gel. Lotion. Post-It Notes. Fingernail file and clear nail polish.

-- Anonymous, October 16, 2001

Let's see. My fake Kate Spade wallet with two bank cards, my credit card, my corporate card, my business cards, C's business cards, my license, C's extra license, my SSN card, a Kroger card, and Harris Teeter card, a Blockbuster card, my Skymiles card, C's Skymiles card, and a phone card. And my health insurance card. Work receipts, my receipts from the past three days, and two dollars cash.

In my purse, I have my passport, several recent flight itineraries, a couple of boarding passes, my Palm Pilot in its lovely red Coach leather case, a silver business card holder, a Publix receipt, a purple V-5 pen, a black V-5 pen, a silver ball-point Agnes Scott pen that I use to write checks, a fine-nib Sharpie pen, my cell phone, NasalCrom, last week's grocery list, my checkbook, a tampon, and some Tylenol Flu caplets. Oh, and my Sprint PCS bill and a wedding RSVP that I need to drop in the mail. And a pearl ring, and a silver guardian angel disk like the one my mother had until her Ford Explorer/Firestone accident, when hers disappeared from her pocket.

Oh, and little leopard print makeup bag with some Kiehl's lip balm, Aveda lip tint in Berry, MAC lipstick in Smoove, a lip brush, Lorac lip gloss in Luscious, and Bobbi Brown lip shine in Fig.

-- Anonymous, October 16, 2001

And I thought I carried too much crap around.

-- Anonymous, October 16, 2001

And a pearl ring,

The one from Spain? You know, if you don't want to give that ring a good home, I could take it off your hands. (Get it? Hands! I slay.)

-- Anonymous, October 16, 2001

It is the pearl ring from Spain. And it's mine! And somewhere between my kitchen and my garage, I LOST my lovely Mignon Faget bracelet with the snail shell. So sad.

-- Anonymous, October 16, 2001

And I thought I carried too much crap around.

I forgot to mention my favorite purse resident - my little purple tape measure. You never know how handy a tape measure is until you have one on hand at all times.

-- Anonymous, October 16, 2001

it's weird because my bag feels a lot heavier than it should be. i thought i had a lot more important stuff in it than i do, but here we go...

in the main pocket: my mail which i was supposed to send out yesterday. my work journal. checks i need to deposit. my il bisonte wallet (which is kind of empty right now; i've removed almost all of my credit cards from it in the hopes that it will cut down on the spending... it's a good try, right?). receipts from my most recent business trip. a slew of lip glosses and balms: cargo lip gloss in walla walla, clinique glosswear in honey bee, shine lip gloss in sinner, philosophy lip gloss in pink, mac lip glass in oh baby, prescriptives lip polish in denial, benetint lip balm, philosophy kiss me lip balm. (why i have so many lip glosses in my bag is way way beyond me. sheesh.) a lip brush (which i can never find because it gets lost under all the glosses). bath and body works hand spray in juniper breeze. sunglasses.

in the zip pocket: my shu uemura cream foundation. a barrette i bought two years ago and wore once (but i might one day have the compulsion to wear again and therefore must keep it handy).

in the front pocket: nail clippers. cell phone. my itinerary from this weekend's trip. three pens.

i think the weight must come from all those lip glosses. the things i do for beauty...

-- Anonymous, October 16, 2001

Miranda - the weight comes from the awesome power of all that is Burberry! Viva le Resistance!

-- Anonymous, October 16, 2001

cargo lip gloss in walla walla

Does that rock as much as I've suspected the few times I've gone to Sephora?

-- Anonymous, October 16, 2001

The "work" bag: lunch, Aquafina, an Arizona postcard I was supposed to send over 6 months ago.

The purse: Outer pouch has the surfboard keychain. Under the flap one pocket has cell phone and Elph camera. The other pocket has two tins of Glide dental floss, Kleenex pocket pack, Softlips lip balm, OTC drugs, tape measure, two pens, two tubes of hand lotion, second keychain. Inside the purse: Suzy Spafford Butterfly address book (no Palm Pilot for me!), check book, bag of Luden's throat drops, Jones New York wallet, Sav-on ibuprofen tablets, Tiger print makeup bag with broken mirror. Makeup bag has two panty liners, two tampons, back-up set of contact lenses, Mary Kay pressed powder, L'Oreal liptick in Vagabond Mauve 'cause I'm worth it, Jesus! - more dental floss, rewetting drops.

(I didn't actually find Jesus in my purse. I just can't believe I carry THAT much dental floss.)

-- Anonymous, October 16, 2001

the cargo walla walla does rock - it's a great shade and gloss. the problem with it is in the packaging. my lid gets stuck all the time which is very frustrating. it also looks like you're getting a lot more gloss than you are. i hit the bottom pretty early. but i love it and will buy more. they've sucked me in.

and t, you are so right - the weight does come from the burberry! down with the gespacho!

-- Anonymous, October 16, 2001

For the record, I'd just like to say that I had the Cargo Walla Walla lip gloss first. But, as miranda and I discovered, I mostly use the light color, she uses the dark, so we're hoping there's a way to switch. (Oh, and also for the record? miranda needs a lip product 12 step group. It's bad, people.)

I forgot that in my bag also: sunglasses and my camera. I've been carrying it for the past couple days so I could take pictures of the beautiful fall foilage at the office, but alas, I am too late, as the wind has blown almost all of them off. Boo.

-- Anonymous, October 16, 2001

is it just me or should the subtitle to MATH +1 be: A man and a bunch of ladies with shiny lips. Ah the glossy action.

-- Anonymous, October 16, 2001

Melissa, clearly you've never met Mike.

(Sweet Mike, you know that I am funny for me.)

-- Anonymous, October 16, 2001

I boggle to imagine y'all carrying around full screenplays, cans of soup, a martini shaker...

Well, the Big Bag is a backpack and the can of soup is not all that heavy (especially with all the other stuff in the bag), and it stops me from eating too much junk food at work.

Maybe I should start carrying around a martini shaker... :)

A man and a bunch of ladies with shiny lips.

What else should be in my bag: at least one lipstick. I don't wear anything on my lips and my mum keeps telling me it's unprofessional.

-- Anonymous, October 16, 2001

Hannah, do you have that lip gloss you were carrying around for me in Vegas? That cheap ass purple good tasting stuff? Damn, that was good.

Know what I wish I had? The SIXTEEN DOLLAH lip gloss I lost in a Vegas cab on that same trip. Worst thing in the world.

-- Anonymous, October 16, 2001

A man and a bunch of ladies with shiny lips. Ah the glossy action.

HAAAAAA!!

-- Anonymous, October 16, 2001

From Cal:

"Well, the Big Bag is a backpack and the can of soup is not all that heavy (especially with all the other stuff in the bag), and it stops me from eating too much junk food at work."

I actually do this when I have a job. We call it "Big Bag/Little Bag" but I don't remember if the etymology is the obvious or some pop culture source. Big Bag is a big black shoulder tote that carries the planner, the 137 pens and parking access cards and change for the meters and the make-up bag and a squashed Nutri-Grain bar and the rest. Little Bag holds pretty much what I mentioned above (the $$, the ID, the cigs). Little Bag pops out of Big Bag (it's like a purse birth, really) to go to lunch or happy hour while Big Bag stays at work or in the car.

Maybe I should start carrying around a martini shaker... :)

And, well, if you did you'd be my new VBF.

-- Anonymous, October 17, 2001

Oh, we're doing the Big Bags, too?

My Big Bag has the big-ass, 15-pound wedding binder, 26 save-the- dates that I need to mail this afternoon, several black V-5 pens (for thank you notes), a copy of the menu for our reception, my bills-to- be-paid file, several flight itineraries for the next few weeks, a disk with the backup file for the wedding database in three different versions of Access, and a lovely Denman hairbrush.

-- Anonymous, October 17, 2001

I finally got to use the Little Bag to go to a show the other night. In it:

ID. Cell Phone. Cigarettes and lighter. Lipstick and Lip gloss. Keys. Blotting Papers.

See, I can downsize when needed.

-- Anonymous, October 17, 2001

FYI -- I am afraid I'm also the only girl without a cell phone.

I KNOW!

-- Anonymous, October 18, 2001

I don't carry a cel. I gave it up during my real estate days. There is no place around here that is so remote that I'm less than a few minutes walk to a house or business, anyway. When we move, though, I will get another one.

-- Anonymous, October 18, 2001

I have never wanted one. Even when I drove a hoopty, I put my life in the hands of the Hoopty Gods and freeballed it. I really don't like the idea of paying money so people can pinpoint my whereabouts at all times. I know you can turn them off and all, but... I guess I just wanted to express my weirdness. :)

-- Anonymous, October 18, 2001

I have a mobile phone (=cell phone). I had to get one because work would say "Hey, you're going out to this site tomorrow" and when I turned up they'd say "We don't have a desk or a phone for you yet, is that a problem?"

-- Anonymous, October 18, 2001

Oh, almost forgot. What's a hoopty?

-- Anonymous, October 18, 2001

isn't a hoopty like a lemon? a crappy car? ^^

-- Anonymous, October 18, 2001

I thought a crappy car was just a crappy car, a la the illustrious Ford Festiva that I drove for 6 years, 130,000 miles, and seven accidents (none of them my fault).

A hoopty, however, is a sweeet ride, but in a kind of cheesy way, like my friend Dee's '98 Corolla with the gold package and the wood- grain interior.

So: crap-ass car, like a Festiva or a Reliant, is simply a crap-ass car. But a gold package? On a Corolla? That, my friends, is a hoopty.

-- Anonymous, October 19, 2001

My hoopty was a 1991 Cartier Lincoln that made inexplicable and embarrassing elephant-in-heat noises when I made sharp turns, and had windshield wipers that would park in the upright position like goal posts.

Aaawwww yeah.

It never broke down, though. The Hoopty Gods smiled down upon me.

-- Anonymous, October 19, 2001

Ah, nothing like dredging up an old thread.

I went to Target at lunch and bought a new makeup bag. A Power Puff girls makeup bag. I know y'all are jealous now.

-- Anonymous, November 07, 2001

Do you want to know about how incredible the man I am hopelessly in love with is?

He's a backpacker, and makes some of his own gear. One night, he sewed me a small nylon makeup bag out of this awesome technical fabric. He even made the bottom squared (so that it can sit up while opened) and used this pale madras fabric in the seams! It has a drawstring closure with a cordlock. Very fancy, and durable.

How can you not love a man who sews?

-- Anonymous, November 07, 2001

A few months ago, I'd have had a much more interesting answer (e.g., portable candle, light-up pen, pack of incense) but I'm travelling much lighter since (a) I was starting to walk crooked due to enormous weght of overloaded purses, (b) I was starting to get called "Auntie" because I could produce a sewing kit, swiss army knife, over-the- counter med (et cetera) at all times and being called "Auntie" made me feel MUCH too old and responsible, and (c) most recently, my Tardis- like purse of many wonders got ganked. Bastard thieves. Now:

* one pen
* one Lancome glittery gloss
* one concealer with green undertone for boo-boos
* one matte mauve-brown flavored gloss
* one matte mauve-berry 99-cent lipstick
* wallet (with driver's licence, insurance card, debit card, mobile phone cheat sheet, and library card, but without much actual money)
* silver Zippo lighter
* silver cig case
* silver compact with mirror in lid; contains concentrated waxy jasmine-scented goop
* Chococat or Nyago mini-notebook
* two presumably expired condoms
* Clinique mascara that I don't recall purchasing
* semi-squashed SKOR bar, to ward off hypoglycaemic fit if a meal time is delayed
* three flavours of chewing gum, all in varying stages of consumption (i.e., open, new, two sticks remaining)
* ear plugs, for when I am hanging out in loud, dark, smoky, degenerate rock clubs or bars with friends, musicians, or musician friends
* Two Midol, wrapped in unidentified piece of perfectly square foil
* Collapsible hairbrush
* Kyocera 2255 mobile, which I love long time, and which saved me big time when Red Sonja, Car of Doom, di'int ackrite and then died, leaving me ass out in dark scary part of town, and which I hopefully will never need now that I have Eloise, a personality-free but delightfully functional Chevy. Has games, tip chart, calculator, alarm clock, and much more. It is my fave toy evah.
* a deck of cards with modern art on 'em, for to pay the gin rummy at ungodly hour of the day in skanky diner< br>* souvenir matchbook from Ash, who had a hit "Burn Baby Burn"
* souvenir matchbox from Fountainhead Lounge
* MJQ matchbook
* postcard with five retro-design WHO buttons attached
* a Martin Amis book I've already re-read too often
* three lonely black hair elastics, five hair grips, two with rhinestone thingies on the ends< br>* one half-consumed carton of yummy but slightly stale Sampoerna Classics cloves
* yet ANOTHER fire-making device, a fab lighter with The Who's logo and "The Kids Are Alright" (sic) and a Mod target on it (P.S., am so sad to hear John Entwistle just died)
* a Sacajawea dollar coin, a quarter and two pennies
* keys to house, car, parental home, lock box, storage unit under house and toy handcuffs (erm...), all on keychain bought in UK which has amusing dangly bits
* a tampon
* a barette
* a guest pass to a nightclub some friends work at
* dental wax for rough tooth
* Listerine breath strip things that make my eyes water
* basic smudgy brown pencil eyeliner
* advert for one friend's band, upon the back of which another friend has written gig info for HIS band
* unidentifiable purse fluff

And that's about it. I'm travelling lighter these days. (And WITH multiple lighters. God forbid I be deprived of my clove-flavoured cancery goodness due to a lack of access to flame. Or maybe I'm a matchbook klepto. Jebus, but I'm a sad lame person. Who is also clearly orally fixated, what with the gum and smokes and lip makeup. Yi.)

-- Anonymous, July 03, 2002