Y'all are accustomed to my rambling, so I kindof feel free to post conjecture here. Snake girl [my oldest daughter, Ingrid] has decided that she's not happy in Bakersville, CA. We [SO and I] knew she wouldn't be, but we both felt that she had to engage in the experience and learn that for herself.

How did we know she wouldn't be happy? Well, it had nothing, necessarily, to do with Bakersfield. She moved out there with her boyfriend of I think six years now, and four or five other people. They all share the same house. It comes as no surprise to me that they're all fighting. She couldn't even live with Andy [her boyfriend] without fighting.

The ONLY time she's happy [despite experiments] is when she lives with Dave. I think she's lived with him for 3 or 4 years now. They have no sexual interest in each other. They're simply good friends. Dave is unassuming, easy-going, and pretty much leaves her to do whatever she chooses while living in the house that his parents really own.

Dave had a girlfriend who lived at the same house before Ingrid moved in, but Dave lost interest in Bonnie, and Bonnie moved out. There's always been pretty much a "revolving door" policy on roommates at Dave's, but Ingrid's been the steadiest, most responsible roommate, and I haven't seen Dave with a girlfriend in quite a while.

So, I'm THINKING...conjecture is more like it that some day Ingrid and Dave will feel a sexual attraction. It's not unheard of, ya know, for friends to someday realize that the mate they've spent a lifetime looking for is right beneath their nose.

-- Anita (Anita_S3@hotmail.com), November 05, 2001

Answers

Anita:

Interesting story. It brings up memories. I grew up in the 60's. When I went to undergrad school I had a close friend. She and I did everything together; as friends. We never had a date until my last year of school; it was a kind of mercy date as neither of us were attached any longer. Very intelligent and attractive girl. Her parents had a great place on the coast of CN; good sailing.

I left for the west and went to graduate school. I got a letter from her saying that she wanted to come and live with me in May. I had to tell her that I was getting married that month and it wouldn't be possible. That was 36 y ago; she never married; and I am still married to the same person. She was in the WTC on 11 Sep; according to a common friend.

I guess that you get used to these things; or not.

Best Wishes,,,,

Z

-- Z1X4Y7 (Z1X4Y7@aol.com), November 05, 2001.

By-the-by:

Being the romatic that I am, I had a friend place a single yellow rose at the site.

Best Wishes,,,,,

Z

-- Z1X4Y7 (Z1X4Y7@aol.com), November 05, 2001.

Oh God, Z, I'm so sorry.

-- helen (more@sadness.daily), November 05, 2001.

Anita,

Ca-Sa-Ra-Sa-Ra...What-ever-will-be-will-be...the future's not ours to see...Ca-Sa-Ra-Sa-Ra.

She'll be OK...that's easy for me to say, cause my girls are still young ;)...I don't envy you. Best my friend!

Z,

Your story made me cry. And all I can say, or contribute is a song by Bette Midler The Rose.

Peace and Love

-- Peg (pegmc@mediaone.net), November 05, 2001.

Z,

Does your wife know about this? Perhaps you should get your story ready just in case.

-- Jack Booted Thug (governmentconspiracy@NWO.com), November 05, 2001.

JBT:

Yes, 36 y ago, my wife-to-be read the letter. You live with someone this long, there are no secrets [except for my recipes; I tell no one :)]. Those ginger and lime marinated ribs were unwordly.

Best Wishes,,,,

Z

-- Z1X4Y7 (Z1X4Y7@aol.com), November 05, 2001.

Z: A NEW guy would work, too! Heh. Sometimes I think people just get in a rut with the one they've been dating for SOOOO long and start making assumptions about the future, knowing full well that they don't get along well enough to HAVE a future. Andy kindof guilt- rapped Ingrid into going with to California. He said, "You're going to spend your whole life living with Dave."

We're flying her home on the 16th of this month, I think. I'm not sure. SO is making the arrangements. Dave has someone living in her room, but he's assured her that he'll kick him out before she arrives. She's not worried about that, as she'll kick him out herself if need be. It's just so damned amusing to me.

Sorry to learn of the loss of your old friend, Z.

-- Anita (Anita_S3@hotmail.com), November 05, 2001.

I think that you are just getting excited over the prospect of moving Ekans back in with his natural mother. I'm surprised that you would assist in the break-up with your daughters boyfriend just to satisfy your own goals.

Z's story made me think of unrequited loves I have had in my past. Has anybody else had a love interest that didn't work out but that you sort of kept track of over the years? How about you Helen, any horses in your life prior to settling down with Mike the Mule? Anyone care to share?

-- Jack Booted Thug (governmentconspiracy@NWO.com), November 05, 2001.

I think that you are just getting excited over the prospect of moving Ekans back in with his natural mother. I'm surprised that you would assist in the break-up with your daughters boyfriend just to satisfy your own goals.

I thought it was my job as mother to judge harshly every man that comes into my daughters' lives [as long as I never let them know what I'm thinking.] I don't think they'll break up, BTW. I think Andy will return sooner than later.

I've gotta wonder what my parents thought when *I* was dating. I've gotta wonder how *I* acted through it all, as well. Just last week or so I mentioned the call that started with "Maaaaaa!" That's the tone of voice that means "You're SO stupid." This week I've already had three calls that started with "Mumma?" That's the tone of voice that means, "I need your help and take back every other tone of voice that I ever used in order to get it." I'd already told her that SO said he'd pop for her to fly home for Christmas. She asked if she could fly home for Thanksgiving instead. I said, "Thanksgiving is too expensive. Even SO is coming home on the 16th." She said, "Sooner would be better. I HATE it here."

I think my second daughter is about the same age as yours. She and HER boyfriend flew here for several days recently and it was almost comical to watch the young man fall all over himself to do whatever he thought might best impress me. At the same time, my daughter kept taking me aside, asking, "So, what do you think of him?" This young man is a vegetarian, but I think he would have eaten worms had I served them. [Of course, I didn't.]

-- Anita (Anita_S3@hotmail.com), November 06, 2001.

There was a horse, of course.

-- helen (so@long.ago.the.poop.has.petrified), November 06, 2001.