Boo!

Shocked you, didn't I?

I am hogging the Internet here at GHA, sending out press releases and whatnot, and thought I would start the thread today, since I have been fairly slack on my MATH duties as of late.

Hey, AB, you'll think this is hilarious. I sent you a Thank You card yesterday for my beeeeuuuutiful birthday necklace, and I got chili on the envelope. What's even funnier is, I was already being sort of tacky because I was sending you the Thank You card PROVIDED by redenvelope.com. They actually include one with the gift, which is insane. Anyway, I thought it was sort of pretty and half-Taiwan-looking, so I went ahead and used it, and then I was eating some of JoLo's chili (delicious, to be sure) and accidentally smeared some on the envelope.

Chris was like "Oh, no! Now you'll have to write another one!" and I was all "Naw, it's to Anna Beth. She'll like it."

I am only admitting it to you now because I didn't want you to think your postal worker had the anthrax and had bled on your Thank You card, and also because it's just funny.

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

Answers

Ew. Just the thought of a bleeding anthrax worker.

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

This new gym training thing is kicking my ass, but I love it. So sore today.

Did you know that if you have more than 30% body fat you're not only overweight you're obese? People. I'm a lard.

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

Well, I actually did have a accident in the post office yesterday, so I could have been exposed.

I FELL DOWN as I was leaving the building. I tried to pass it off like I had just dropped down to like, tie my shoe or whatever, but I actually did that falling and grabbing for the rails thing with the bruising and the scraping and the keys flying into the bushes.

You know what? I laughed. I freaking feel like Willie Nelson singing "What can you do to me now?"

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

H, I am excited for you with the new gym training. Stick with it, and it will work. You will see results in two weeks, if you're really working hard. That's awesome.

The words "overweight" and "obese" are just terms relating to your ideal body weight. Don't worry about that shit. They're just words. Just workout to be healthy.

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

Girl. I love you so much. I can't wait for my chilified, half- Taiwan thank you note. I'm going to scan it and that will be my entry the day I get it.

Y'all, I think I got more sleep last night than I have any night in the past month. Woo! Crazy AB! I'm all jumpy and giddy.

H, what's the average body fat? 30% sounds mighty low to me.

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

Oh, two more things:

1. Al, you liked it? I was worried. But I knew if you didn't, I could certainly take it off your hands.

2. Have y'all heard the song "Hell to the Naw?" If so, please join me in hysterical laughter. It is the best thing evah. If not, go download it right this minute.

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

Hey, y'all. So busy. Again.

Uh, Allison, I have a funny birthday card for you, but I need to mail it. Because I am slack, slack, slack.

Should I be disturbed by how excited Chris is to be going shooting with y'all this weekend? He's all, "I'm going to the shooting range! With Chris! And we're going to shoot guns at things!"

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

Uh, well, you should not be half as disturbed as I was Sunday night when someone shot five rounds from a handgun outside out apartment.

I don't know what was happening, but the police came and were running around in the kudzu under our porch trying to find out.

Scary. The MOC was trying to creep out and see what was happening, but we couldn't figure it out. It was really crazy. I certainly won't be walking to Wendy's by myself at night anymore. I think it was over there, because it was very loud.

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

Oh, and by the way, I will be in Birmingham this weekend, so I will not be shooting anything. It's a shame, really. I'll go sometime, though. I would love to see the Huff in action on the range.

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

Oh my god! That's frightening. Although, it says something that the incident was at Wendy's, rather than Chick-Fil-A. Truett Cathy is a good Christian man, see. Praises!!

I think I'm just not going to want to hear about the shooting range adventure. I can only imagine.

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

Where the F are y'all? Hello?

Ah, hell. I'm busy, too. I'm wheeling and dealing over here, today.

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

My iBook sucks and is constantly throwing me off.

AB - ideal body fat % for women is between 22 and 25%. I know. It's clazy!

Well, you know Dave Thomas is a good, Christian man as well, and I think he'd be right horrified to know of a shooting at the Wendy's. The first time Eric was here we drove by the original Wendy's and I was all like - Look! That's the original Wendy's! And then I realized how pathetic that was and I broke down into "I hate my city! My city sucks!" sobs.

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

Baby, we have the original Chick-Fil-A (the Dwarf House) AND the original Waffle House.

And pandas! Did I mention the pandas?

God, what to have for lunch today? I had a burrito yesterday, and I can't justify one two days in a row. But, I need something fast and take-out. Why oh why can't the La MAdeleine be closer??

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

Heh. T, when I worked at Chick-Fil-A (not the original, of course), we had to learn all the history and information about S. Truett Cathy and the origins of the place. It always cracked me up to say his name.

I think I will have Corner Bakery for lunch. Because that is what I have every day.

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

And the LORD said: S. TRUETT, GATHER YE BREASTS AND PICKLES AND CREATE A TASTY AND SEMI-HEALTHY MEAL, AND CALL IT THE CHAR-GRILLED CHICKEN DELUXE. And S. Truett did, and the LORD saw that it was good, and he smiled down upon Atlanta.

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

That is exactly how it happened!

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

And to that, I have one thing to say:

PRAISES!!!

Except, I forgot to get a straw for my lemonade. How am I supposed to drink my lemonade without a straw? It's totally foreign.

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

I eat at Einstein's Bagels every.day. Every day. Because I can walk. (I could also walk to the Piccadilly, but that's gross.) Not only do I eat at Einstein's every day, I eat the same thing. Smoked chicken and gouda on a challa roll. Oh, y'all know I get the gouda.

People, holy shit! I just had to practice actual International Relations and call Haiti. Yes! Here was my conversation:

Me: Is this the bishop's office?

Haiti guy: "Que? The...? Yes?"

Me: "THE BISHOP'S OFFICE. IS IT?"

HG: "Oui, yes. Bishop!"

Me: "DID YOU FAX THE SIGNATURE?" (They were supposed to fax a letter of endorsement to the national Episcopal church offices in New York so we could get funding for our Haitian programs.)

HG: "The...? The fax? Oui. But it not working, so we send someone. Merci! Thank you!"

*click.*

No idea what just happened. I even speak a little French, but I couldn't come up with anything he might understand, and I was having to shout to be heard. I think he meant he had to send someone somewhere else to fax it.

My life is really strange, lately.

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

I even speak a little French, but I couldn't come up with anything he might understand,

Heh. That sounded very WG. What I had meant was, that I couldn't think of the french for anything even remotely close to what I was trying to say.

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

My story sucks.

Sorry. I just have to upt that out there sometimes. Are y'all sticking with it?

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

Everything's so quiet and slow today.

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

I can't believe you just said the Piccadilly sucks.

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

I was thinking the same exact thing, AB!

Tell you what: when you're in town, we'll eat at the Picadilly, with or without Al Lowe and her Picadilly-besmirching ways.

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

Damn right, T. Man, how I miss that codfish.

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

I like the word besmirch.

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

I like Hannah.

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

Thou shalt not defame the LuAnn Platter.

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

Hee.

Let's try and work the words "besmirch" "math" and "ferret" into our stories.

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

Okay! We should make a list of words to work in.

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

Thou shalt not defame the LuAnn Platter.

What? That's from Luby's!

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

Have y'all seen Jessie's entry today? If not, go and look at the photograph near the bottom of the entry--it is wonderful.

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

I know! I saw. Why is +1 so slow, mommy? Okay, so nanowrimo words:

ferret
math
besmirch

What else?

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

Hmmmm...I'm thinking.

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

AB - I've been racking (wracking?) my brain trying to figure out who PG's "tigger and pooh" are.

Hint?

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

Tigger and Pooh? I no know what you talk about! Maybe you give ME hint?

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

In her last entry Pineapple talked about how some journal writer in Austin had written her and they got together and this mystery woman and her husband are the best but how they want to be anonymous in her journal, or some such. It was in her last entry.

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

Ohhhh...yeah. She showed me the webpage, but I can't remember the URL. The guy has a tour guide-ish thing around Austin, not really a journal, and I think the wife has a journal but she didn't show me that one. They are older, in their 50s, but Tracy said they were very nice. That is all the scoop I know!

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

Ah. Cause she mentioned that a "famous" journaller had once linked to the woman and she was uncomfortable with it. So I was trying to think of any older, married women that pam had ever linked to.

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

Oh, I don't even remember reading that. Maybe I ask her!

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

Maybe you do!

Mike's been working lots of nights lately. Or maybe he no like us anymore!

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

Do we smell?

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

It probably because I confuse LuAnn Platter with Dilly Platter. I clazy forgetful!

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

I know I don't!

Mike - have you had a chance to scan in your photos yet?

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

Yeah, you smell like the Piccadilly.

Lord, lord, I can't believe y'all like that place OR Luby's. And I know I'm all anti-South, anti-Texas with my hatred of chain cafeterias, but having eaten at Morrison's every single Sunday after church of my life, I think I can safely say I know what I'm talking about. I just don't like those places, the glorious LuAnn Platter notwithstanding. (And R.I.P poor Killeen, TX shot-up Luby's people. I would hate to defame their sad, trout almondine covered memories.)

And furthermore (cue the music for the final speech in Gone With the Wind), it will be over my dead body that we take AB to the Piccadilly when in town. As a matter of fact, if we make it out of the liquor store across the street from my apartment, I will be amazed.

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

Oh, Allison. See, at least you have the right to shun cafeterias. There's no Luby's in the nawth, you see. There is no LuAnn platter. Not for MILES.

I'd like to take this opportunity to thank Luby's macaroni and cheese and mashed potatoes for padding my already growing pubescent hips.

Oh, and also, Casa Ole.

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

Al, you do know that you smite the LORD when you pass up the Chick- Fil-A at N. Druid Hills and Briarcliff everytime you go to Einstein's, don't you?

When I'm back in town, we'll have to go to lunch. Often. You're only about a 12-minute drive from my office, I think.

So, let's talk about "smite." Is the conjugation smite, smote, smirched? I'm confusing myself, over here.

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

Uh, Johanna, lest we forget Pancho's Mexican Buffet?

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

I am going to make up an ode to Piccadilly codfish, just to spite you, Allison Lowe.

But not to smite you. Don't get those mixed up.

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

I should just ask WG my smite-smote-smirched question.

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

I think it's smote.

Or else I made that up.

I think we should have to work in "picadillys" into our novels. I'm sure they have Luby's in Oklahoma. (where my characters are from)

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

It's smite, smote, smitten.

Love, WG

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001