So, I read this today, and wondered if I was the only one who thought that this was just a bunch of crap:

From THE ART AND POWER OF BEING A LADY
by Noelle Cleary and Dini von Mueffling

The Ten Commandments of Being a Lady

Don't be a helpless damsel. Take pride in being self-sufficient and competent.

Respect other people's time and be punctual to appointments.

Resist the temptation to exploit other people's lives by gossiping.

Speak up when others make offensive remarks. (In other words, don't let your silence lump you in with the transgressor.)

Don't be a slave to fashion. Dress to reflect your own unique personality.

Never make your friends feel like replacements for when your paramour is unavailable.

Refrain from raising your voice because "the louder you get, the more wrong you sound."

Steer clear of people who are married or in committed relationships when looking for romance.

Give back-- what you can, when you can, and as often as you can.

Laugh often... especially at yourself.

Ok, maybe not crap, but common sense. Why do we need this? Ok, maybe we don't, but how is it that people still need instructions from other people about what is and is not appropriate behavior? Are the people who need this advice ever going to read it, much less learn something from it? And is it necessarily about "being a lady"? It seems more like common decency from any human.

Thoughts?

-- Anonymous, November 27, 2001

Answers

Oh I don't know keli,at least she doesn't insist that 1.we call the loo the "little girls room", 2."make sure your pantyhose are not running",(and what I would like to know,while we're on the subject,is where the hell would my panyhose,should I ever own such a delicasy,-be running to?? 3."never outsmart your beau".Some magazines still sell such pearls of wisdom,and some women actually read it. (But not I) As for the "being a lady",yes,I agree.This is absolutely creepy. I don't know about you,but this is not my life long ambition. I'm all for equality,yey. (As long as he takes out the garbage.I might break a nail you see.Wouldn't want that to happen now would we.)

-- Anonymous, November 27, 2001

I know it was a cheesy (but sweet!) movie, but this is one of my favorite movie quotes, from "Blast from the Past":

"The short definition of a lady or gentleman is someone who always tries to make sure that the people around him or her are as comfortable as possible"

-- Anonymous, November 27, 2001

Keli, you're right - it's sad that people still need instructions on how to "ackright."

However, I try and live by all the above rules. That's a good list, I guess.

-- Anonymous, November 28, 2001

On the one hand I'm glad we live a world where being a lady is about you and not what you do for him. On the other hand, who wants to be a lady anyway? The term lady is just so. . . prissy to me. That list, that list reads prissy. Common sense and good ideas (except gossip can be fun!) but prissified to be ladylike.

Do ladies burp at home just to make their SO laugh? Do ladies get to wear pants every day for the rest of their lives? Do ladies like to play video games centered on beating the crap out of the other player? Do ladies discuss whether the dog fart smells like rotting bacon or rotting eggs?

Well then fuck that, who wants to be a lady anyway?

-- Anonymous, November 28, 2001

Robyn I like that quote. Don't think I saw that movie though.

-- Anonymous, November 28, 2001

Slickery, I think it's all about spin.

Do ladies burp at home just to make their SO laugh? -
Okay, this one is questionable. But - just ask a 1950's issue of Ladies' Home Journal... pleasing and entertaining your man is very important. And at least it's at home... A lady would never burp in public.

Do ladies get to wear pants every day for the rest of their lives?
Ladies can wear anything they like as long as it reflects a personal style, is appropriate to the occasion, and doesn't show too much skin.

Do ladies like to play video games centered on beating the crap out of the other player? -
Absolutely. This is no different than those cut-throat bridge or canasta games our Grams played. Healthy, spirited competition is a lovely way to pass an afternoon (or that patch from 1 am to 3 am - whatever).

Do ladies discuss whether the dog fart smells like rotting bacon or rotting eggs? -
I think this conversation, pertaining to the digestive health of a beloved pet, isn't necessarily unladylike - under the right circumstances. Again, it all comes down to audience and location.

Spin it, baby. Ladylike behavior is very subjective.

-- Anonymous, November 28, 2001

PG, you kill me.

I still don't want to be a lady though.

-- Anonymous, November 28, 2001

wellll, okay. But remember, if you change your mind, there's always The Ladylike Spin.

As my dear Nolan always says,

"You think giving up smoking is hard? Try going a whole day without one good rationalization."

-- Anonymous, November 28, 2001