Hello, hello.

It's 7:45 AM here in ATL and all is well. Been up since 5:30. The MOC invented tossing and turning.

Today is my brother's 40th birthday. Also, my friend Holly's 30th birthday. Oldness. Everywhere.

I am jealous of T! I know I said I never wanted to go back to Vegas, but I could go for a little "excrusive Berragio" right now.

-- Anonymous, December 04, 2001

Answers

I too am jealous of the T.

Happy Birthday Kelly!

-- Anonymous, December 04, 2001

Ooh, gambring at Berragio would be fun.

Y'all, my house looks so pretty. I decorated last night. I wish you could all come to Chao Camp and sip spiked hot chocolate with me.

-- Anonymous, December 04, 2001

Y'all, my friend Dan is writing a mini-screenplay for some Ford Focus film/commerical contest thing and he asked me to write a song for it. So what I had did was write it.

Here it is. The premise is, this guy is a skip tracer who has to go after some crazy goth chick who has just committed a crime against her place of employment, a strip joint. She's all crazy because her very Catholic mother just died, and she's running away in her Ford Focus, disguised as a nun. I mean, that shit is crazy. She's got five words that she's obessed with - she writes them on motel mirrors, and tapes them up in her car and gets them tattooed on her arm, or something like that - and he becomes fascinated with her, based on these words. The words are: erotic, exotic, surrender, bliss and treasure.

I told him there's no way Ford is going to make a film with the word erotic in it, but he insisted.

Oh, the hero of this glorified commercial is also a country/punk/rockabilly singer. Yeah. So, he sings this song about her in a bar. So I just wrote the song last night. Here it is. It will make you wet your pants laughing:

She was a Woman of God with a real hot bod/

Driving hell-bent in a little hot rod/

Straight for the edge of this ugly old town/

Wearing her mama’s black wedding gown.

She was weary of gentlemen taking their pleasure/

In Big Ronnie’s House of Erotic Treasure/

So she set fire to a red sequined dress/

And got herself into some kind of mess.

Drive on/

Drive on under care of saints and angels/

The devil has hold of your happiness/

Drive on and find it and never surrender/

Never surrender your bliss.

[solo]

Some call her crazy, some say psychotic/

But it’s never been anything quite so exotic/

She’s just longing to get out onto the road/

And drive long and far to unburden that load

I could spend my whole life trying to reach her/

Of course, I ain’t no saint, and I ain’t no preacher/

But I’ve got to keep going until I can face/

That I hope she’s the one who wins out in this chase.

[solo + bridge] I hope she keeps driving on. I hope she just keeps driving on.

Drive on/

Drive on under care of saints and angels/

The devil has hold of your happiness/

Drive on and find it and never surrender/

Never surrender your bliss.

[repeat chorus?]

-- Anonymous, December 04, 2001

I have L-Led myself with my songwriting genius!

Hahahahahhaaaaaa!

-- Anonymous, December 04, 2001

Well, I mean, who can top that?

-- Anonymous, December 04, 2001

Are the Damn Millionaires going to record that? I think they should.

-- Anonymous, December 04, 2001

L_L. Right here.

-- Anonymous, December 04, 2001

Oh, also, y'all--my @home e-mail account doesn't work anymore, so you no able to send mail there. It changed to anchao@attbi.com. Which is the stupidest thing ever.

-- Anonymous, December 04, 2001

The Damn Millionaires can definitely record it, because it is crazy.

I am out of control with that four line stanza rhyming. I do it in every single song, and I am sick of it. But I had to do it this time in order to use those stupid words. Anyway, are y'all amazed? Surely you are. Brilliance like Big Ronnie's House of Erotic Treasure just doesn't happen to you every day, I know.

Do you like how I think I'm Johnny Cash? Because clearly I think that. Well, I just thought sharing it would amuse MATH, which is what I live to do.

attbi is dumb, AB. We know write to that address anyway. Always to annachao.com.

-- Anonymous, December 04, 2001

Y'all, what are the odds that I'll get Holiday cards out by Christmas?

Answer: Zero percent.

-- Anonymous, December 04, 2001

Al - I love it! Man, can you imagine FORD doing something like that? Maybe Ford trying to be like BMW with Ford Films or something.

-- Anonymous, December 04, 2001

I think that's exactly what they're trying to do.

I just heard from Dan and he freaked over the song. He loves it, so now I have to come up with some music which may mean calling Vince Chao on telephone and making him play guitar.

M, do not feel bad. I have yet to even think about Holiday cards. Also, do you think I have a birthday present for my brother? Uh, think again.

-- Anonymous, December 04, 2001

Is Ford the one with the "Drive On" slogan? Because if not, that might be a problem.

-- Anonymous, December 04, 2001

There's someone with a "Drive On" slogan? Shite. Is it Dodge? Because I will kill them.

I can change it, anyway.

-- Anonymous, December 04, 2001

Yeah, someone does, but I can't place who right now.

-- Anonymous, December 04, 2001

Goodness I'm sleepy. Sleeeeee Pee.

-- Anonymous, December 04, 2001

Do any of y'all read SecraTerri? I thought she was remarried, because I remember reading her engagement entry, but then I just read her winning outstanding entry and she talks as if she's single, so... I'm confused.

-- Anonymous, December 04, 2001

Boo, people!

Mike - I don't know how you stand to post in the 3wa politics threads, but you're always the most reasonable. I always want to say THANK you after your posts.

-- Anonymous, December 04, 2001

I pick my spots.

That thread just irritates me. I mean, I wasn't calling for the green berets to rescue them, but people there are ascribing motives to Curry and Mercer that neither of the two have espoused.

I think Jim is more right than wrong when he says that Peter and others will take any excuse to give their future nightmare of a Christian Nation, just like I think others are right when they says people will use any excuse to criticize American foreign policy.

-- Anonymous, December 04, 2001