What's the worst gift you've ever gotten?

What did you do with it?

-- Anonymous, December 05, 2001

Answers

A bright purple sweatshirt with three playful fluffy kittens silkscreened on the front. From a boyfriend's mom.

In 1999.

I still have it. I have no idea what to do with it. The thing has literally never been on my body.

-- Anonymous, December 05, 2001

My grandmother is notorious for giving bad gifts in our family. She hardly ever asks for suggestions and thinks that her "fashion sense" is the end all and be all.

That said, a few Christmases ago, I got a full length snap button robe from Cold Water Creek. It was navy blue. It had an ugly, ugly, UGLY hummingbird embroidered on it and it was made of jerzee sweatshirt type material. It was bad. Maybe it would have been good for a 40 year old, but not for my then-19 year old self...

Thankfully, Grandma knows she gives bad gifts, so she included the packing receipts and whatnot. CWC ended up majorly bugging the return, so they just gave me cash, instead of credit. Nice. :)

-- Anonymous, December 05, 2001

My Mother also thinks her fashion sense is the end all and be all. I need to get her together with alison's Grandma.

Last year she game me a pink vinyl down vest. Bright pink. I looked like a pink marshmallow. (Out of curiousity, I searched Nordstrom's outlet website and sure enough, there it's brethren were!)

I still have it in my closet. I tryed to make myself like it, I even wore it a couple of times. Next time the retarded children's charity calls up looking for donations, it's going. And I must clarify, it's a charity for retarded children.

I must give my Aunt Iva a shoutout because she consistently comes up with useless gifts. The red vinyl purse comes to mind.

-- Anonymous, December 05, 2001

Size small sequined sweaters from my exinlaws. Pink.

Size small. Like I could fit one boob in. People, short does not equal small.

-- Anonymous, December 05, 2001

See, I think a handbag is way too personal a gift for somebody. Unless they tell you they want such-and-such bag from Kate Spade, I think you're just asking for trouble if you try to make somebody's purse choices for them. I know I am very particular about my purses and even *I* don't know what makes a purse perfect for me so it's a lot to ask of somebody to pick one as a gift.

I used to work at a hair salon, and one of the ladies whose hair I washed gave me a hideous brown suede purse for Christmas one year. I mean it was bad. I gave it to Goodwill.

-- Anonymous, December 06, 2001

My aunt used to pawn her old Coach purses off on me. They were always the matronly ones in like, navy. Now that she had daughters-in-law though, I'm saved this.

-- Anonymous, December 06, 2001

I always try to save my parents and such the trouble of having to pick out presents by telling them what I want. Flat out like "Mom, I need pair of snowboots!" or "Grandma, I could use a new sweatshirt." I NEVER get what I need for christmas or my birthday. What did I get last year from my parents when all I asked for was a little bit of cash? (We usually always get cash from my parents. Good present, right?) I got a mystery book. My father decided that he needed a new saddle so EVERYONE got bullshit presents like that. One year I got a plastic jewelry box with one of those twirly ballerinas in it. People, the only jewelry I wear is a watch and a necklace that I never take off. Why did i need this?

I just quit telling people what I want, and I go and buy it myself. That is the only way to get what you want.

-- Anonymous, December 06, 2001

That reminds me. My best friend in high school used to give me old books for Christmas and my birthday. By "old books", I mean books that would have inscriptions like, "Merry Christmas, Corbin! Love, Mom and Dad" on the flyleaf.

One time he went to Europe and brought me back a Burberry scarf. Except his travelling companion had actually bought it for HIM. He was so embarrassed when he got busted. Served that fool right.

-- Anonymous, December 06, 2001

He was a regifter!!!

Although, damn. A Burberry scarf is a Burberry scarf.

-- Anonymous, December 06, 2001

I would cry tears of joy if I got a jewelry box with a ballerina inside, that goes double if it played music and the ballerina spun when the music played.

And if it were bright pink? I would marry the gift giver on the spot.

-- Anonymous, December 06, 2001

The Ballerina spin. It played some indistiguashable song. It had pink roses on the top...and broke within three weeks. Too bad I stepped on it or something...

-- Anonymous, December 06, 2001

A leather purse shaped like a big red fish with yellow fins. My mom thought it was the cutest thing EVAH and had a yellow one with red fins. As for what I did with it, I carry it from house to house as a conversation piece. When anyone complains about Bad Holiday Gifts, I whip it out. It is always The Winnah.

When I was a hypersensitive preteen, I received: an etiquette book, two (2) sets of gift soap, an EpiLady, and a pair of TINY eyelet-trimmed puffy (!) knickers with a yucky 1970's-era avocado green and harvest gold and poo brown monkey / banana print. Which, if you are a hypersensitive preteen, translates to: you are rude, extremely stinky, hairy, and immature / tacky / colourblind.

ATL-area people can see The Fish Purse upon request. It's hideola.

-- Anonymous, July 03, 2002