Uh ... Bueller?

-- Anonymous, December 18, 2001

Answers

Seriously.

MIKE. How we have missed you. It seems like ages. WHAT is going on?

I just had to sit in on a video shoot of one of our founders, Miss Virginia Procter, who is more than 80-years-old, talking about the work of this agency and... people. If I have as much joy and as much energy as she does now when I am FORTY, I will be doing good.

She is one of those people who has used her life. It was inspirational.

-- Anonymous, December 18, 2001

Especially considering the of-late train-wreck of my existence, I was inspired.

As I told AB last night, I have two dead dogs and a dead daddy - what can I do but laugh at myself and try to move on? I mean, people have had it worse. I don't know how that is even possible, but it's true. I'm going to try not to be such a downer from here on.

-- Anonymous, December 18, 2001

Two more weeks and it's 2002.

That's your mantra for the day.

-- Anonymous, December 18, 2001

Al, I was very sad to hear of your dogs. I'm sorry.

But yes, 2002 is right around the bend. And like I said, I see big things ahead.

-- Anonymous, December 18, 2001

Sara A.? Ragging on WG? Ah, email.

-- Anonymous, December 18, 2001

Oh, y'all. I just love Ferretropolis. I can't stop looking at it.

Somebody's fax machine keeps calling me and I hate it. I'm screaming over here, like Elaine on that Seinfeld where she has to get her number changed because Kramer is faxing things to her home phone.

-- Anonymous, December 18, 2001

Do you think it's our Meg? Oh how I wish that it was.

-- Anonymous, December 18, 2001

Ferretropolis? How did I miss THAT?

Al, I am so sorry to hear about the dogs. I can't begin to imagine.

Back from New Orleans. All eight of us were together, so we took a family picture last night. And later on, I was left wondering why the hell I just didn't stay in a hotel, as my house is LOUD. So loud.

Al, Chicken has definitely Come Up Missing. It's been more than a month now. We knew the salad days of Chicken had to end, but it is just the most bothersome thing.

-- Anonymous, December 18, 2001

Oh no. Christmas without chicken. Rob is back from CO? And the girls are home from school so early.

-- Anonymous, December 18, 2001

Y'all.

http://squishettes.net/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=26 &t=000001

-- Anonymous, December 18, 2001

uh huh yeah. It seems some of my readers are giving evil joey chao a run for his money.

I hope you got a side of anthrax with that Sims HOt date pack, trash

Meloonsa wants to be us so bad, y'all.

-- Anonymous, December 18, 2001

Silly PigFatt is not even worth fretting over, although his self- designated handle makes me want to throw up. And besides, if they start the schmack talking, we can beat them soundly. Or, we could ignore them, which would probably piss them off even more.

-- Anonymous, December 18, 2001

It just makes me laugh. I hate MATH cards. And really, wasn't it a pigfatt/sir ratsy flame war? Have we ever come out as Sir Ratsy?

-- Anonymous, December 18, 2001

We never came out as Sir Ratsy, but I think that whole group always had their suspicions.

Actually, we did have it out with them - it started about the time PigFatt called Allison a Nazi.

-- Anonymous, December 18, 2001

But I couldn't remember if we actually posted things to him as us, or if we did so as Sir Ratsy.

PigFatt has a livejournal and it's my mission to find it.

-- Anonymous, December 18, 2001

The URL's not working for me. What is it?

-- Anonymous, December 18, 2001

I gotcha...

Wow. I think I have to respond to that, don't I?

-- Anonymous, December 18, 2001

Mike, for one thing, I think you're the best person to respond, and for two things, I think we all know that the ladies over there will certainly squeal with delight at your presence in their lair.

-- Anonymous, December 18, 2001

Well, I'd really like to respond to Meloonsa for bringing it up again.

In fact, I think I will.

-- Anonymous, December 18, 2001

What happened? I can't look at that site from this computer.

Are they busting on us? Because IF SO, I will rain down on them like their worst nightmare. No more Al Lowe the Diplomat. The last two weeks of 2002 are reserved for my wrath.

Oh, and Merry Christmas.

-- Anonymous, December 18, 2001

Except that, you know what? I'd hate for any of them to think I even knew their dumbass forum existed.

But that doesn't mean I won't trash them elsewhere, if provoked.

-- Anonymous, December 18, 2001

That Meloonsa, trying to start stuff, and shit. Good response, Mike.

If they start schmack, it wold be funny as hell for them to face the wrath of Al.

-- Anonymous, December 18, 2001

Nah, it's not so bad. It's good to see PF's figured out that MATH is an acronym, although sadly he neglects the +1 entirely. AB always gets the shaft!

I just think Meloonsa is trying to provoke another fight so she'll be entertained. Of course, once hostilities start, all bets are off, but we'll see what those crazy kids do next.

And, of course, the whole issue was safely off-topic (as is always the case there) but PF had to get his two cents in.

-- Anonymous, December 18, 2001

oooh, PigFatt edited his post. (And HOW annoying is it that they took off the 'edited by' tags?)

I think Meloonsa has herself a love/hate relationship with MATH.

-- Anonymous, December 18, 2001

Aw, so sad to get the shaft from PigFatt. I see he edited his message, too. Fucker.

-- Anonymous, December 18, 2001

I swear, there is no one in the whole Internet that works my nerves like PF. I'd like to see his fat ass go down, but I'll not be the one to do it.

And what, exactly, is an "I hate M.A.T.H. card?"

When when was MATH ever so non-AP Style as to use the periods?

And WHEN did Pam ever give those idiots (rowEn, notwithstanding) permission to rip-off the name of her forum/journal that she spent years writing? Not that I think she's ever complained or anything but people, can you have an original thought in your leaking head? I'd like to know.

AND WHEN was there anyone on the PLANET who was interested in knowing about PF's love life with his Angel of Death? (Not that I can even call her that anymore, since clearly the title has been passed on to ME, now.)

OK. New MATH Mission 2002.

Using code names, we infiltrate that forum and slowly bring about it's destruction. Flame wars here, rumors there... I'm not the sort of evil person who would normally enjoy such a thing, but the new me is all about the humbling of the stupid. Who's with me? We'll out-stupid the stupid people.

-- Anonymous, December 18, 2001

Not only am I so there, I say we then team up and write a screenplay about it. We'll be millionaires!

-- Anonymous, December 18, 2001

Ooh! Ooh! I want to humble the stupid!

Can my code name be SweeTee?

-- Anonymous, December 18, 2001

I am laughing so hard right now.

Best idea ever for 2002.

-- Anonymous, December 18, 2001

So what will our first rumor be about?

-- Anonymous, December 18, 2001

Well, let's plan this out...

We have two weeks to come up with ideas.

-- Anonymous, December 18, 2001

When I apply for ambassador jobs, can I put on my resume that I "made arch-enemy acknowledge that I was right on a public forum"?

-- Anonymous, December 18, 2001

You can. And you can also say that your advanced degree in International Relations made it possible for you to participate in plots of Internet terrorism.

-- Anonymous, December 18, 2001

PF: Well as far as flame wars go it was fairly low key. But I do agree with Mike (for once) that there's absolutely no reason to bring it up here and now.

See, he just HAD to include the "for once" and that's what makes him eligible for the plot of destruction.

-- Anonymous, December 18, 2001

That, and the fact that he refers to himself as "Jess' Love God," or whatever it is.

Fodder for a smackdown, I tell you!

-- Anonymous, December 18, 2001

Oh, y'all. Meloonsa just simply won me over. BigMatt made a nasty comment and she quoted him, just so when he goes back to edit it, it'll still be there.

Ha!

-- Anonymous, December 18, 2001

Oh y'all, I'm laughing. I called him BM. That never fails to crack me up.

-- Anonymous, December 18, 2001

Yes, yes... calling him BM is the best. I wish you had bolded it. Good move, though, in playing it diplomatic and casual, MATHstyle.

We think we're better than everyone else? Can't argue there. Except... do we say that somewhere?

Also, for the record, had I wanted to ban people from Squishy, all I had to do was ask.

PiggFatt has thrown down the guantlet. I hate his humongous fat ass and we will destroy him. MATH+1 in 2002: The Internet will never be the same.

Tomorrow, we begin the planning stages.

Things to think about:

1. Code names.

2. Will we get busted by our IP addresses?

3. Phases of attack.

4. Intended targets.

Look, the Cobras and I were not some sewing circle. I have experience in harmless revenge, and, to quote the MOC, I have no qualms about kicking someone's ass.

MATH Mission 2002 requires total and complete secrecy. No telling the fringe people: PG, Other Hannah, etc. Unless, of course, they would be equally evil accomplices.

Mwa hahahhahaahhahahah!

-- Anonymous, December 18, 2001

AHHHHHH!!!

I'm going to take that guy DOWN.

WHATEVER.

I want to respond to his post by saying "Well, you know man, different people get uppity about different things," but I am not registered there and I don't want to leave a trail back to myself that can be traced back to me when Mission 2002 begins.

-- Anonymous, December 18, 2001