Donald Rumsfeld was kind enough to share this bit of very important information with the American people today... "Bin Laden is either in Afghanistan, in some other country, or he is dead."

Well I don't know about you, but I'm so thankful that we have such brilliant leaders to figure these things out, we would be clueless without them.

Thursday December 27 2:58 PM ET

Rumsfeld: U.S. Has Conflicting Bin Laden Reports

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld on Thursday brushed aside reports Osama bin Laden (news - web sites) had escaped to Pakistan, saying he has received so many conflicting reports about the Saudi-born fugitive, ``I've stopped chasing them.''

Asked about reports that bin Laden may be under the protection of a radical Islamic leader in Pakistan, Rumsfeld said the United States simply does not know whether he is dead or alive, and if alive, where he is.

``We hear six, seven, eight, 10, 12 conflicting reports every day. I've stopped chasing them,'' he told reporters at the Pentagon (news - web sites). ``We do know of certain knowledge he is either in Afghanistan (news - web sites) or some other country or dead and we know of certain knowledge that we don't know which of those happens to be the case.''

In Kabul, an Afghan Defense Ministry spokesman said bin Laden was hiding in Pakistan under the protection of supporters of a radical Islamic leader who helped create the fundamentalist Taliban militia driven from power by U.S.-backed Afghan forces. However the cleric, Maulana Fazalur Rehman, swiftly dismissed the report.

The alleged mastermind of the Sept. 11 attacks, bin Laden appeared on newly released video, the first excerpts of which were shown on Qatar's al Jazeera television on Wednesday. But it is not known exactly where or when the video was made.

Wherever he is, Rumsfeld said, the U.S. goal remains the same. ``We want to stop the terrorist networks in the world, including al Qaeda, but not just al Qaeda. And to do that you have to go after those networks and root them out and, second, you have to go after the countries that harbor them,'' he said.

-- (they@are.brilliant), December 27, 2001

Answers

All of us are dead, or living in Afganistan, or not living in Afganistan.

"Jim, madness has no purpose . . . or reason. But it may have a goal."

--Spock to Kirk

-- helen (more@trek.for.our.times), December 27, 2001.

I saw the news conference when he said that. He was serious, and he couldn't understand why all the reporters were cracking up. Letting burned out ex-CEO's who are ready for retirement run our country is definitely not a good idea.

-- (politicians@going.senile), December 27, 2001.

A momentary lapse into foolishness at a press conference is of no moment compared to an outstanding military success in Afghanistan.

-- Peter Errington (petere7@starpower.net), December 28, 2001.

I read quite a few similar comments yesterday. It seems to happen to most of them. Here are just a few:

"I have opinions of my own - strong opinions - but I don't always agree with them." --George Bush

"If you take out the killings, Washington actually has a very low crime rate." --Marion Barry, mayor of Washington, D.C.

"It isn't pollution that is hurting the environment, it's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." --Dan Quayle

Things are more like they are now than they have ever been." -- President Gerald Ford

"Those who survived the San Francisco earthquake said, "Thank God, I'm still alive." But, of course, those who died, their lives will never be the same again." --Sen. Barbara Boxer, (D, California)

"The streets are safe in Philadelphia, it's only the people who make them unsafe." --Frank Rizzo, Mayor, Philadelphia

"They've managed to keep their unemployment low although their overall unemployment is high." --President Bill Clinton

"I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law." --David Dinkins, Fmr. New York City Mayor

Trees cause more pollution than automobiles do." --Ronald Reagan

"The people in the Navy look on motherhood as being compatible with being a woman." --Rear Admiral James R. Hogg

"How could this be a problem in a country where we have Intel and Microsoft?" --Al Gore on Y2K

"The word 'genius' isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." --Joe Theisman, quarterback and sports analyst

-- Pammy (pamela_sue57@hotmail.com), December 28, 2001.

Pam, I love those quotes. I thought I kept my list but I can't seem to find it now.

"I saw the news conference when he said that. He was serious..." LOL Yes, I saw the conference too and he wasn't anywhere close to serious. He plays with the reporters and it's so fun to watch. The reporters always take him seriously. I especially love it when he says something like, "I'm not going to answer any questions about [fill in the blank]". Don't you know the very next question from the reporters is on that topic. Too funny! Of course he comes back with a flip remark. And the reporters don't give up, "And where are the special forces right now, what are they doing?" Talk about stupidity! And you can see Rumsfeld having a good time playing with them. Ahhh, life's little pleasures.

-- Maria (anon@ymous.com), December 28, 2001.

Rumsfeld has a sophisticated, ironic wit that eludes small, literal minds like TAB. So sad.

-- (roland@hatemail.com), December 28, 2001.

So very true Roland. Donald Rumsfeld does not suffer fools too well and he deals with them on a daily basis. I love watching him yank their chains and they consistently play right into his hand…..much like the fools that can be found on Internet discussion forums.

Nothing quite so amusing as watching theses idiots work so hard to confirm the obvious.

-- So (cr@t.es), December 28, 2001.

Nope, this time he was serious. A lot of the news media showed him saying it because they could see that he was being serious. He just didn't realize how stupid it was. Maybe he still doesn't realize it, unless one of his staff told him.

-- (Rumsfeld is @ Dumbsfeld.), December 28, 2001.