Something has been bothering me for a while. I was raised Catholic and go to church regularly. My husband is non-Catholic but our children are baptized Catholic and are being raised Catholic.

About 15 years ago, during my 20s, I was "searching" and having a lot of trouble with the role of women in the Catholic church. The new pastor at a church I went to changed a lot of things, banning women from many of their previous ministries in the church, and I felt very hurt and lost, and decided to try other denominations. I went to a few different churches and then found an Episcopal church that really resonated with me. Not only did they have almost the exact same service as the one I had grown up with and loved, but the pastor, one of the associates, most of the acolytes, and many of the leaders of the parish were women. I joined the parish, stayed with that church over a year, and even joined an "inquirers" class to learn more about the religion. Since the other inquirers were being "received" at the end of the class, I did this too. I did not really think about it so much as a rejection of the Catholic church (I was feeling more that my own Church had rejected me) as an embracing of that particular parish and the way they loved and welcomed me.

Well, I ended up moving pretty far away, and left that church behind. In my new neighborhood, I found a Catholic Church that I felt was very welcoming and good, and my experiences had calmed down my sensitivity a bit, so I joined that parish and went on with things. I married a non-Catholic I met at work, and he had no interest in converting, but was fine about raising our kids Catholic.

A while back, I was reading something about "rejecting" your religion, and it occurred to me that my being "received" at the Episcopal church may have been a bigger deal than I have thought in the past. Does this somehow nullify my own confirmation? Am I still considered a Catholic? What does that mean in terms of my children's baptisms? Is there something I need to do to re-affirm my Catholicism?

Thanks

-- C Lows (chrislows@aol.com), December 29, 2001

Answers

Hello, C [Chris?] Lows.

Thanks for writing. I read your message very carefully. The first thing I want to say is, "Welcome back!"

It appears to me that you did temporarily leave the Catholic Church -- in a formal and public way, becoming what I would call a member of a Protestant denomination.

However, you later returned to the Church in a formal and public way, effectively leaving Protestantism behind. Objectively speaking -- and I am not going to try to judge your act subjectively -- but objectively speaking, your departure from the Church was a seriously sinful act which probably needs to be confessed in the Sacrament of Reconciliation. I think that this act of penitence would, in effect, act as your profession of faith -- your admission that Jesus founded only the Catholic Church and that you adhere to all of her teachings (faith and morality). You see, even if your old parish hurt you in some ways, it was still part of the only true Church of Jesus, and you had a serious obligation not to "fall away."

But rather than take my word for it, I suggest that you make an appointment to discuss the whole thing with your pastor (or even discuss it with another priest confidentially on the phone, if you prefer). He will either confirm what I have just said about Confession or give you different advice.

I want you to know that I went through something similar, ignoring the Catholic Church for several years and then returning, with my first act being the Sacrament of Reconciliation. (My case was a bit different from yours, in that I had not formally left the Church and joined some other religion or non-Catholic Christian body.)

St. Thomas a Becket, pray for us.
God bless you.
John

-- (jfgecik@hotmail.com), December 29, 2001.