I read all of your situations and decided to share mine and hopefully get some feedback. I have to say today was the last straw, because I finally fought back. There is so much I don't even know where to begin. When our relationship started it was the best thing that had ever happened to me. But, one day she was late for a rugby game, so I called for directions and she just flew off the handle that I was calling her incompetent. I dismissed it as nothing. I could go on and on all day about the time she took a knife to my throat, forced me out of her car to walk with bags of groceries, etc. The time I had to be in Atlanta and the night before she decides to pick a fight and call the cops to have me falsely arrested for domestic violence. Or the time she banged my head against the wall and I fell unconcious, but was too afraid to fight for fear of going back to jail where I was treated like a dog. I missed my flight to Atlanta because I had ended up in jail with the prostitutes and the women strung out on heroin and the other abused women who were also falsely arrested. I feel so broken, so much wanting to take my own life because I hurt so much. She called me a fat whore, loser, bitch, piece of shit, skank, stupid, pathetic and clingy. All because I love her. This time I fought back I hit her and kicked her and ran out the door with a scratches and bruises and bleeding. I called 911 who met me at work this morning to file a report. They said that when I go home tonight that if she does anything to me that I can call them and they will come over to arrest her.

What's worse is I own a rottweiler and she is ALWAYS threatening to call the police and tell them that the dog bit her. Which means fines, and the dog being put down.

At this point I feel suicidal, but I know I have to go on that this too shall pass. If anyone out there wants to write me please do. I feel so alone.

Melissa

-- Anonymous, January 02, 2002

Answers

Melissa, please join the safe-support mailing list (directions are at safe4all.org). It is an understanding group of people who have been through similar experiences.

Jade

-- Anonymous, January 02, 2002

re: police will not even help me

Dear Melissa:

Get out of there while you still can. Someone who is that abusive needs help and you are not the one to give it to them. I knew someone who was in an abusive relationship with another woman. It never got to death threats, but my friend was tossed from a car by her ex girlfriend, punched, kicked, and verbally abused, and the girlfriend got her in trouble. People who abuse like that always see themselves as victims no matter how badly they treat others. Not to sound cold, but she doesn't sound worth ending your life over.

You need to separate yourself from her, even if you love her and miss her.

-- Anonymous, December 03, 2002