Let's talk for a moment about site tracking. Hannah and AB - y'all pay for yours, right? Or no? My question is, when you pay for it, do you get better stats? Like, most of my referrals say "unknown." So, I was wondering, if I used the paid service, would it do a better job of tracking, or would it make no difference?

Also, happy Thursday.

-- Anonymous, January 24, 2002

Answers

Hey, y'all.

Al, nobody ever told me that Montgomery is a shitty little town. I was in downtown Montgomery all day yesterday for PhRMA stuff - seriously, where do the rich people live? The downtown area there could be really nice, but instead, it's all nasty-looking Chinese restaurants and wig stores. So odd. And then I got lost when I was trying to leave, and I ended up in the montgomery ghetto at sunset. I don't like Montgomery. It has none of Birmingham's charm and appeal. Oh well.

I've been busy the past few days, and sad - well, not sad, but emotional. Did y'all know that I'll have a different name in four months? That's starting to weird me out. I mean, i'm still going to take Anulewicz - I think it's important for us to have the same, blah blah, and I'm definitely not going to use Lippincott Anulewicz for everyday (although that's what my emails and my business cards will say, so as not to confuse people), because that would just be too many syllables, bt it is kind of odd to know that I'll have a different name. Anyway.

Al, I'm so glad that the grief group was a good experience. I can't imagine that it will be anything but helpful.

-- Anonymous, January 24, 2002

Tracking comes with my hosting plan, but I don't use it. I use sitemeter also.

I think unknown just means that they typed your URL in.

-- Anonymous, January 24, 2002

It is weird. But you will always be Teri Lippincott, just like your mom is still Bonnie Lacey. You know?

-- Anonymous, January 24, 2002

Al, nobody ever told me that Montgomery is a shitty little town.

Oh, Montgomery is totally gross. And they definitely have a ghetto, for real. Downtown is very scary. I hate going there. I think it is the close proximity to Auburn that makes it so nasty.

There are some rich people there, but they stay out of downtown. Thing about Montgomery people - they think they are hot stuff. There is a specific "Montgomery accent" even.

-- Anonymous, January 24, 2002

It seems like the kind of town where people would think they are hot shit, sending their kids to "academies" that are really just white supremacist high schools and toting their Vera Bradley around, when really, their town is a dump, and they have to affectuate class because really, there's none there to be had.

Whew - I guess I really didn't like Montgomery.

-- Anonymous, January 24, 2002

Whenever you hear people talk about Alabama cities, they don't even include Montgomery, which ought to tell you something since it's our state capitol and everything. It's always Birmingham, Mobile, Huntsville, in that order - all nice cities to visit, to be sure (except for some scary parts of Mobile).

-- Anonymous, January 24, 2002

I have never even been to AL, not even just to drive through it.

T - can you send me your crawfish fettucini recp? I think I'd like to try and cook it for the superbowl. Of course, this will require me buying a bigger pot, but hell, I need to do that anyway.And where will I get crawfish up here?? Can I use shrimp?

-- Anonymous, January 24, 2002

I bet you can use shrimp.

T, just post it - I'd like to make it as well.

-- Anonymous, January 24, 2002

And then the world fell quiet. Doesn't it seem like no one is really updating anymore?

Here we got Berman on a 3 month hiatus, and Stee clearly quit and Slickery and Kristin don't update and of course T. Is it the great de-journalling?

-- Anonymous, January 24, 2002

These things go in waves, or stages, or whatever.

-- Anonymous, January 24, 2002

Looks that way. I might be adding to it. I have nothing to say. Boredom reigns supreme.

I need to get my johannamerrill.com site up so I can start getting some freelance work. Need $$$, honey.

-- Anonymous, January 24, 2002

Oh y'all. Meloonsa is moving back to Ark.

-- Anonymous, January 24, 2002

And, she's out of tampons. Can't that girl learn to keep it to herself, already?

-- Anonymous, January 24, 2002

I'm only on hiatus because of the FTP issues. Plus, as Einstein argued, an object at rest tends to stay at rest.

Or was that Newton?

-- Anonymous, January 24, 2002

I don't know, but I'm sure someone could put it up for you. Even me!

-- Anonymous, January 24, 2002

Then I'd actually have to write something.

-- Anonymous, January 24, 2002

There's the rub.

How's work? Did anyone get laid off in the reshuffling?

-- Anonymous, January 24, 2002

Three people.

-- Anonymous, January 24, 2002

Y'all, I have to bitch about something for just a second so I can get it out and over with.

-- Anonymous, January 24, 2002

You know, the MOC and I are not getting engaged any time soon because he just doesn't have enough money for a ring, or even to finance it, he says, and I believe him - and even though I told him I didn't care, he doesn't want everyone to look at him like he's a cheap bastard which he IS. He told me this the other night out of the blue during a discussion of our future, which holds many wonderful things, in both of our opinions.

But whatever. To me the old adage of "If you're not doing what you want to do, you really don't want to do it," holds true, and no matter what anybody says, that is what I will always believe.

And frankly, I really don't care. As I said after the passing of Bill Lowe - stuff like rings and weddings doesn't matter to me much anymore. But I want to buy a house soon and have a child in the next few years, so... I'm just ready to get on with it.

Of course, I would never dream of pressuring the MOC. Seriously, I would never. Someone else did that to him once and y'all know how that worked out.

What I guess makes me the maddest about it are these things:

1) He won't stop bringing it up - I assume to make sure I believe that he wants us to get married one day. I would just rather not ever discuss it if it's never going to happen. It doesn't make me feel any better to talk about it. I mean, basically it's "I really want to marry you, but I don't want to make any sacrifices to do it, even though you are going to buy me a freaking HOUSE one day."

2) We're going to sxsw in March which will surely cost each of us AT LEAST about $600, all totaled.

Anyway, I know I'm complaining about nothing, but I just got mad about it for a minute just now, and I guess now I'm over it.

-- Anonymous, January 24, 2002

Oh, no. I'm a shrew and y'all all think so, right?

-- Anonymous, January 24, 2002

No, I don't.

I think it is perfectly reasonable to be frustrated by the constant talk of weddings, when there's no action. I think you're right in your guess that he does it to make sure you know he really does want to do it. Someday. That would make me certifiable. Have y'all talked about that? About the constant talk thing?

-- Anonymous, January 24, 2002

Well, yeah. The other night, I finally just told him to can it. Because, again, if you're not doing what you want to do... blahdie blah.

I'm just over it, now. Too many other things to worry about.

-- Anonymous, January 24, 2002

Wait - are y'all definitely going to sxsw? Is it a must? Because I'll tell you the lesson I have learned the long, hard, very sad way during the past three days: economize. If he is insisting on having a ring, it's the only thing to do (unless someone finds an heirloom engagement ring in the sofa cushions).

If he really does want to get married soon - and Lord knows, the MOC talks about it all the time - "our wedding this, our reception that, blah, blah..." - then maybe the ring, and saving money for the ring, is the thing to focus on. it seems like the MOC is all about having a ring to propose - like Chris A, and like you said, I think he's one of those men who just is not comfortable with the idea of being engaged without a ring. It makes no sense to us, but I think it has to do with them not wanting your family to think that you're marrine a cheap deadbeat - when actually, it should indicate that you're marrying someone with more than a shred of fiscal responsibility. (Or someone who is a cheap-o, but a nice one, at that.)

Anyway. I don't think you need to think that you're putting pressure on him. I can see why you don't want to. In a way, though, he's putting the pressure on you with his incessant talk of your future life together. So, you're entitled to say, "Listen, you talk about this a lot, I'm getting mixed signals, why is the actual ring important to you, we will one day start a family, buy a home, etc..."

I definitely feel your pain. Vent away.

-- Anonymous, January 24, 2002

The thing about the fiscal responsibility is that - he definitely is - and he spreadsheets his money down to the monthly dime.

I mean, he figures for how much he'll have at the end of the month to go to the movies or shows and buy a few books and CDs, which are things he needs to do to enjoy his life.

Here's the other thing - a long time ago, I told him I'd feel better if I paid for half the ring, however much the fictional thing ends up costing. He acted like I had just made a ridiculous proposition, but in our case, financially, I think it's only fair.

-- Anonymous, January 24, 2002

I agree that it's only fair, but to a guy, it is a truly absurd thought.

Well, let me rethink that. It depends on a couple of things. I think it's fair to split the cost of the engagement ring if you are both paying for the wedding and reception yourselves. But if just about all of the financial burden of the wedding is in your family's hands, I think it's just fine for the guy to pay for all of the ring.

-- Anonymous, January 24, 2002

That is an excellent point, and I don't know how to apply it to our situation, because I don't know what sort of wedding we'll have or how we'll pay for it. My mother will probably pay for a good bit, and then Chris and I will do the rest.

-- Anonymous, January 24, 2002

Wait - are y'all definitely going to sxsw? Is it a must?

"Must" is not even close to strong enough a word. Unless you would like to see Allison Lowe's eyeballs poked out with a chopstick.

Al, you're right. To can it for now is his best option. Walk the walk, and all that.

-- Anonymous, January 24, 2002

I agree that it's only fair, but to a guy, it is a truly absurd thought.

Absolutely true. Absolutely. Actually, someone this past weekend phrased similar sentiments in a much crasser way, but I hesitate to pollute your tender ears with vulgarities.

-- Anonymous, January 24, 2002

I want my ears polluted.

My friend Liv is going to use a diamond from her mother's marriage to her father for their ring, so I think she's justified in wanting the exact setting she loves and having him pay for it, but I can see splitting the cost in certain situations. I could also use my mom's diamond from the ring my father gave her, but I just couldn't. As much as I don't really believe in luck and trinkets and such, I just couldn't not think I was jinxing myself using a "divorced diamond."

-- Anonymous, January 24, 2002

I don't think I could use, as H said, a "divorced diamond" in my wedding set, but I'd sure as hell make a nice pendant out of it.

Joh - your friend Liv shouldn't even have to make him paying for the setting an issue - he should be jumping for joy that he's getting the ring taken care of for minimal cost. (And she should be all about a sparkly wedding band!)

-- Anonymous, January 24, 2002

Oh, Jo Lowe tried to give me her first engagement ring. The one Kelly's dad gave her when she was 16 years old. My father didn't give her one - because when he asked her, she said no, then two weeks later decided she wanted to say yes, but couldn't manipulate him into asking her again, so she had to ask HIM.

So, her wedding band has several diamonds. But I couldn't use it. It's hers.

About her first ring, though, I was like "I do not THINK so, Mother." And she was all "But, they're my diamonds!"

She finally admitted it was crazy.

I mean, it's just a piece of jewelry. I want to marry him much more than I want him to give me a ring, which I think means my priorities are in the right place, but thinking about it makes me mad on some level. I just can't tell if I'm more mad at myself for wanting one, or more mad at him for not wanting to give me one.

So I guess the best idea is just to stop thinking about it.

-- Anonymous, January 24, 2002

The vulagrity is:

She's wearing your balls on her finger.

Which is not meant in a negative sense -- but rather in the sense that people look at a woman's ring and use that as a gauge of the guy who gave it to her. Even guys do that.

-- Anonymous, January 24, 2002

Oh, it's not an issue for them at all.

I do have the diamond in a pendant, but I want to get it reset because it's in yellow gold. Plus, I want to get it bezeled because I like pendants like that. It makes it more everyday to me.

Al - your priorities are in the right place. Overthinking is the worst, but sometimes, it's unavoidable.

And yes, sxsw is a must. But we'll do it as cheaply as possible. Like we're 19 and we'll chug beers in the hotel room.

AB - where are you and Master V staying?

-- Anonymous, January 24, 2002

She's wearing your balls on her finger.

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, I guess that puts it into perspective.

-- Anonymous, January 24, 2002

Overthinking is the worst, but this is your life - how can you not think about it?

Mike, I agree - as awful as it is, it's true.

-- Anonymous, January 24, 2002

It is.

But it is forever. Or so we hope.

-- Anonymous, January 24, 2002

I was downtown at the hospital today to have my biannual TB test (to volunteer, not because I'm at risk for the concumption) and a woman in the elevator complimented my ring and said, "Oh, is it your first marriage?" It seemed like an odd question, although I know that sadly, it is the norm.

-- Anonymous, January 24, 2002

Yes, indeed we do hope.

OK, I have to also tell y'all about this HILARIOUS moment I had the other day.

Chris has this ancient spiral notebook he used to use to record his monthly figures, or whatever. Anyway, the cover of it says "Kate and Chris." In her trashy handwriting.

I can't take it. The thing is always open, so he doesn't ever look at the cover, but still. The only reason I have even seen it is because I was cleaning up the desk, and I closed it, to make it look neater. I, of course, never said anything about it, because that stuff is ancient history.

But yesterday, I was thinking about this ring stuff, and I came across that notebook and ripped the cover off and in half and threw it in the trash.

I am SO not That Girl, but I just... I had a moment.

-- Anonymous, January 24, 2002

Well, I'm out, peeps. Have good Thursday nights. Ta.

-- Anonymous, January 24, 2002