When I was eight-years-old my Aunt Bon and her family moved to an old chicken farm that hadn't seen chickens in quite a few years. I loved to go visit Bon and my cousins. The chicken barns were a great place to play hide-and-go-seek which I always called higngo-seek.The chicken barns were the biggest I have ever seen and a kid could really find some good hiding places in them.

On this day when we got done playing hide-and-go-seek we went to see my cousins dog and her new puppies. We were standing around talking about how cute the puppies were and hoping that Mum would let us have one. I noticed when one puppy pulled away from its mothers nipple that there was a drop of milk still on the nipple.I pointed the drop of milk out to everyone. I was surprised to see that it was the color of cows milk. When I mentioned the color of the milk to the rest of the kids my older brother spoke up, "George, of course the milk is white that's where milk comes from." I said, "It is not. Milk comes from dairy farms." Little Jim said, "You fool they have all kinds of dairy farms. " I thought for a minute and asked, "Oh yeah then how come I have never seen any dairy farms except for cows?" Little Jim answered back, "There is a dog dairy down the road." I had to think about this because I didn't remember ever seeing a dog dairy. "Well how come I never saw it before?" I asked Little Jim. "Because we come from the other way' He answered. I wondered if they sold the dogs milk in the store and asked Little Jim about it. He told me that yes they do. Well I wondered why I never saw milk from a dog in the store? Little Jim said, "That all dairy milk is mixed into one jug and sold as cows milk. That made sense to me. Who would buy milk if they knew it came from a dog.

Little Jim dared me to get down on my hands and knees and suck some of the milk from the dog.I said, "No way, that is nasty." Little Jim was laughing as he asked, "Well, don't you drink cows milk?" I said, "Yes but That's cows milk and I don't suck the milk out of the cow." Little Jim said, "well, then milk the dog and drink it." I tried to milk the dog but nothing came out. Little Jim stood by my side telling me how good fresh dogs milk was. I told him to get down and suck some milk from the dog. Little Jim said, "If I do it first then you have to promise me that you will suck some milk afterwards." I promised Little Jim that if he went first I would follow. Little Jim asked everyone who was standing around if they heard me promise him? Everyone said,"Yes."

Little Jim got onto his hans and knees and craweled halfway into the dog house. I got down beside him and watched his every move. I wanted to make sure that he didn't cheat. I sat amazed as I saw his mouth go towards the dogs nipple. I couldn't believe it when I saw him moving his head like he was sucking and he lifted his head and said, "That is good tasting milk." Wow, I was convinced now that the dog was a dairy dog. Little Jim got up and wiped his mouth. I asked him, "What do you do?" Little Jim said, "Just suck on her nipple. " I got down on my hands and knees and craweled into the dog house. I put my mouth on the dogs nipple and sucked. I stuck my head out of the doghouse. "Little Jim" I said, "I can't get any milk. What do I do?" Little Jim said, "George, you have to move your hands on her stomach like the puppies do when they drink milk and you have to suck real, real hard."

I thought about it for a second and then I watched how a puppy moved its paws. I decided that it looked easy enough. I crawled back inside the doghouse. I remember how the dog looked at me as I went towards her nipple. She sort of held her head low and out towards me. Her brown eyes rolled back towards her forhead just enough so that a small amount of white was showing. She looked like she was wondering what on earth I thought I was doing? I started moving my hands on her stomach like a puppy and then I did it. Yup I did it. I put my mouth on her nipple and I sucked as hard as I possibly could. I got my milk alright. It was grossest dairy milk I had ever tasted. I spit it out almost instantly and crawled out of the doghouse. I seemed to not be able to spit enough. Everyone was laughing at me and I felt really stupid. Little Jim said, "George you are a real fool. I didn't drink the dogs milk." I said, "Yes you did I saw you." Little Jim who was laughing so much that he could barely speak said I was just pretending." Everyone was getting a great laugh and I got mad and ran into the house and told Mum what had happened. I wish I had just kept quiet. My mother was fit to be tied. She yelled and yelled about how dirty a thing that was for me to do. I asked her, "Why are you mad? You didn't drink any of the milk?" Mum answered in a very angry voice, "Because I know better that's why." When my mother said I know better I knew she did. I sure wish I hadn't said anything. Little Jim got in trouble for tricking me but he didn't mind. He had a story to tell all of his friends so that they could pick on me which they all did.

-- george nh (rcoopwalpole@aol.com), January 24, 2002

Answers

Response to Dairy Dog

LOL!! That is a funny story! I love it! I'm certain most of us can relate... I remember many a time when the older kids got the best of me. hmmm.... they still do sometimes! Thanks for sharing George.

-- Mary (zoots25@hotmail.com), January 24, 2002.

Response to Dairy Dog

My husband wants to know what the HECK I'm laughing so hard for!

-- Shannon at Grateful Acres Animal Sanctuary (gratacres@aol.com), January 24, 2002.

Response to Dairy Dog

Ooooooh George, you do so bring back those rich memories of chldhood. You really have a gift to remember your childhood in such detail. I am your same age and I remember different things that happened and things that were said, but not whole conversations. Do you remember way far back, like when you were still in diapers?

-- Debbie in MO (risingwind@socket.net), January 24, 2002.

Debbie, I can go back to three-years-old. The day I found out that me and heights do not get along. I can remember almost every detail from that day including what my father had said to me. I think I remember them so well because I have told the stories so many times.

-- george nh (rcoopwalpole@aol.com), January 25, 2002.

that was so funny, i wish that i had a childhood like yours. i was very sheltered and to hear stories of you and kevin are just great. i would like to read one about kevin someday!!!!!!!!

-- judy cole (jujubeezzgang@aol.com), January 30, 2002.

If my brother ever did that... Uncle George, i will never be able to look at you the same :)

-- Amanda (meenarae@hotmail.com), February 24, 2002.

Hi, this is Little Jim. I just read this story and it brought back many memories from when we were just kids. My stomach still hurts from laughing so hard. My family read the story and they loved it. They thought it was really funny. Love you, Little Jim your brother.

-- James (JamesAM59@hotmail.com), April 11, 2002.