I'm sitting here at the computer procrastinating! This has always been a problem for me,all my life. My mother used to call me the minjana(sp) (spanish for tomorrow) kid. I get up in the mornings with tons of energy and full of all the things I want to get done. Very little if any actually gets to the point of being a finished project. I have tried making lists, and I've tried concentrating my efforts on one room at a time until it is done. I have tried so many suggestions and it doesn't work. I've tried offering to help friends clean, orgainize, or whatever to their house if they would help me with mine. No luck! So I sit here knowing very well what needs to be done but I'm writing you guys for help. I also know I am not alone.

Here is my dilemma. I have this stuff that needs to get done, minor repairs, and it really drives me crazy that it isn't getting done. Then there is the stuff I have to do on a daily basis, i.e. feed children, do dishes, feed animals, get dressed, you get the picture. Then there is the stuff I want to do some of that falls into the need to do catagory. Now how do I balance my life and make progress? I feel guilty if I do what I want to do when there is all the other stuff that needs doing. But I can never get caught up on that stuff so I can get to what I want to do. How do you balance your day so you can do it all? At the moment I am unemployeed so you would think I would have lots of time to get this done. Well, I don't because I am taking classes. My chores, the animals, are the easiest part of my day I'm done in 20-30 minutes. Some background on me if it might help. When I was married I was a stay at home mom.Before that I worked for a brokerage firm. I loved being home with my kids. When I got divorced and moved up north and I was able to be home with my kids until they both were in school full time, cost of living was that much cheaper. Then I moved to this house. The house is a lot bigger but that doesn't seem to be the problem. A big part of the problem is that I moved here one week before starting full time at the college, as a student. I never had a chance to unpack and there were things that I wanted to do to the house before I unpacked, paint, put in different windows. Well my partner at the time, being helpful, put the boxes in the basement. I am an out of sight out of mind person. Generally I leave things in the way so I will deal with them. Well, the basement flooded with all the unpacked boxes down there, everything was ruined. Insurence will not do anything about it. So I pulled a Scarlet O'Hara, I'll worry about it tomorrow. I need to bring in a dumpster to get rid of the stuff. I finally graduated last May and I have done some work on the place. The partner, who was with me for 4 years, vanished a year ago. I've been busy with my internship and a job, now looking for one. I have never had to deal with work and children and house before. My kids are pretty good but they have their homework and school. I am enjoying being home for my kids these days. They were so patient while I was a year round full time student they deserve to have their mom back for a while.

Now that I have typed this out it sounds like I am dealing with guilt! Damn my mother! I sure hope I don't do that to my kids.But I still would like to know how you get motivated to do the things you do. I run out of energy about halfway through the day. I'm a early morning person. Would you suggest working on the have to and need to stuff in the mornings and when my energy is low to the want to stuff?

My mind set doesn't seem right. I was so full of myself and able to do all these things a few years ago now I just think of maybe packing it in. I cringe when I think like that. Does anyone have a magic wand I could borrow?

Susan

-- Susan in Minnesota (nanaboo@paulbunyan.net), February 03, 2002

Answers

Hi Susan, I have been where you are and still am at times..... I call it being tired of the fight....One thing that helped me at one time was a lady named the flylady lol.... helped me to get somewhat organized... www.flylady.net. Another thing that I had to decide was that it didnt have to be done in one day.... I would totally overwhelm myself...So I tackle things in 15 minute increments... I dont know that any of this will help you but I want you to know that your not alone feeling this way .. and the strength does come back.. Wish I was closer I would love to come help you out ...

-- Trina (trina@ccountry.net), February 03, 2002.

I use only two reminders. For "absolutely must be done before the turn of the century" important things, I use a greaseboard in the kitchen. For things that are of lower priority and need to be completed before the next millenium, there is the job jar, a gallon sized pickle jar. The only "must do" that I make sure of is cleaning my desk each evening before I make my daily journal entry, which is my last "chore" of the day. Too much regimentation shortens the lifespan :>) It is amazing though, my greaseboard never has more than 12 items needing completion and the jar never gets over half full (quite often, I find myself throwing slips away as I did them autonomousely without drawing a slip) and I always have a feeling of accomplishment. Of course all bills get filed in the monthly slot box organizer

-- Jay Blair in N. AL (jayblair678@yahoo.com), February 03, 2002.

If Ireally want to get things done I make a list. As I do them I cross them off. I have a tendancy to do the 5-10 min jobs first. These are generally the ones I leave go for a long time. I cross off what I have done. At the end of the day I make a new list for the next time. This works for me 'cause I tend to be anal......

-- Karen (abbaskid61081@yahoo.com), February 04, 2002.

Susan... first, you need to re=read your post, or better yet, copy it and then underline all the things you HAVE accomplished. You will see, as I did, that you have managed to accomplish a lot, being by yourself and with children and animals to take care of and a house to run. No small feat, so give yourself a pat on the back.

As to getting motivated for other chores, I find doing the thing I dislike the most, first thing in the morning. And yes, as others suggested, make a list and take pleasure in drawing a line through those things as you do them. Otherwise, your mind is filled with hundreds of things you need to do, but all those floating thoughts will drive you crazy and seem overwhelming. Putting it down in black and white organizes your thoughts. Can you take one box a day out of the basement and can any of it be burned? For health reasons you need to get all that mildewed/molded stuff out of the house.

Always compliment yourself on what you did get done, especially when there is no one else around to notice or care. Stay positive! :)

Carole

-- Carole (carle@earthlink.net), February 05, 2002.

If I were you, I would have a good physical and be sure to tell Dr. about your fatique.

-- Barb Fischer (bfischer42@hotmail.com), February 06, 2002.