Not sure what to do. Just found out I'm pregnant and I'm still nursing my 8.5 month old. I'm between 1 and 3 months along (haven't been to the doctor yet). I was told to stop breast feeding and begin formula but my baby won't take it. I also heard that it would be OK if I ate well.

If anyone is a doctor or nurse or has personal experience with this, could you please respond with some advice. I'd like to get many educated opinions before making a decision. So far, our pediatrition and the Ask-a-nurse at our insurance said to "follow our O.B./Gyn advice" which was to stop breast feeding. Thanks. Suz in Pa.

-- Suz in Pa (smfine@yahoo.com), February 04, 2002

Answers

I am not a professional but from all the reading I have done with my three pregancys is it is possible to continue but very difficult your calorie intake is huge and it is very stressful on your body! You have to do what is best for you and your unborn child.

-- sonneyacres (jtgt12@ntelos.net), February 04, 2002.

I'm not a dr, or a nurse (at least, not officially :), just my kdis and dh think so) but I am a mom to four kids. My second and third are less than 16 months apart, and I breastfed the second well into my pregnancy with the third. He (number 2) self-weaned by his first birthday, so my body did get a bit of a rest before number 3 started nursing. Chances are, yours will too. Neither of my children seemed to be worse off for 'sharing', and in many cultures it's not uncommon to 'tandem nurse' siblings close in age. Check out some websites geared to 'large families' and you will find many women who breastfed one (or more!) child while pregnant with another.

-- Kris in MI (ckarmom@ivillage.com), February 04, 2002.

Well, I was nursing all of mine when the next one came along. You will need to eat more to compensate and make sure to take your prenatals.(mine weren't as close together as yours, but pretty close!) At 8.5 months your baby ought to be eating some other food too. If you don't feel good, or if you aren't gaining much weight, or if you start having contractions!...then I would consider stopping. Breastfeeding can cause contractions, but it didn't with mine. I didn't nurse past 3 months pregnant though. My first was over a year by then and so was my second when I was pregnant with the third. Some people nurse all the way through. It probably depends on how well your body deals with it. Everyone is different, so don't compare yourself to others who have done so successfully if you aren't feeling well, or having other troubles. 8 and a half months is a good start for your other baby. Not optimal, but not bad! There is one positive thing that I noticed...I wasn't as morning sick with the 2nd and 3rd baby as I was from the 1st. Either not enough time to think about it...or the nursing helped! Blessings to you and congrats on your little new Blessing! Nan

-- Nan (davidl41@ipa.net), February 04, 2002.

Funny you should ask ;-). I'm currently nursing both my 2 1/2 month old and my almost-2 year old. I nursed Eli, my older son, through my pregnancy with Simon. My first OB told me to stop nursing too, but when I switched to a midwife (I strongly recommend that step, for nursing-positive and patient oriented care, btw), they said it was no big deal, just to eat well (besides the extra 300 calories that you need to nourish the baby after the first trimester, you need about 50 extra calories per nursing session - that is, if she's nursing 8 times a day, you need to take in 700 calories above the 2000 you normally take in (not that hard, really!). But its not an exact science, just eat more if you are losing weight, less if you are gaining too fast. You need lots of calcium (milk, supplemented OJ, ice cream ;-) and leafy dark greens), and to take a good prenatal rigorously. Both of my kids were over 8 lbs, healthy and wonderful. I would never wean a baby so young, and you absolutely do not have to wean. A number of nursing books have chapters on tandem nursing two children, and women have done it for ages.

There is an up and a down side to nursing both kids. The up is that your baby gets the advantages of breastmilk longer, and she may wean all by herself as your milk supply decreases and the flavor changes at the end of your pregnancy (although Eli didn't). Also, if you continue nursing while you have both kids, you may avoid some of the sibling regressions stuff, since traditionally when the new baby comes, the first child wants to go back to acting like a baby, ie, nursing anyhow. The down side is that your nipples may be sensitive, you may be a bit tireder (although how you would tell with an 8 1/2 month old and pregnant, I don't know ;-), and your daughter may wean herself before you are ready do to above changes in milk. Still, I would never have weaned before 1 year, and it did my son a lot of good to be nursed by me. The first time he met his little brother, he came to visit me in the hospital, climbed on the bed, watched me nurse Simon and then hugged me, and said, "Eli turn" (we had talked a lot about how he'd need to take turns with the baby). It has done a lot, IMHO, to ease the transition to siblinghood.

The bottom line is that your OB has probably never had a patient who nursed both kids - they aren't speaking from experience or knowledge, but from instinct. But that instinct is wrong. I did a couple of medline searches in early pregnancy, and couldn't find anything that suggested that nursing both was bad (the only case that this is an issue is if you have preterm labor, in which case you may have to stop nursing, since nipple stimulation can encourage preterm labor to continue. But there is *no* evidence that nursing *causes* preterm labor.) If you can, find yourself a practitioner who will be supportive, or insist that your OB do some research, by telling themt that you don't plan to stop, and you would like their advice about how to do this successfully. Call your local La Leche league for support and advice -they'll have tons and tons of info about tandem nursing and can set you up with dozens of people who've done it. But if you can, find a midwife right this minute, not just for support with breastfeeding through pregnancy, but also because a midwife assisted birth is a thousand miles from an OB birth - in my first labor, the OB waited out in the hall until it was time to push. With my second son, the midwife hung out in the labor room with us, rubbing my back, helping support me, and telling me jokes to distract me. She encouraged me to eat lightly and drink, and was supportive of all my choices, including an epidural. If you can, have a midwife - it makes all the difference on earth!

Good luck, congratulations, and enjoy your daughter's too-short babyhood.

-- Sharon in NY (astyk@brandeis.edu), February 04, 2002.

I nursed my first child until I was 6 months pregnant with the second. After that I began to get very painful contractions when he nursed and had to stop. The second child was very large and healthy and I was in good health too.

-- Rebekah (daniel1@itss.net), February 04, 2002.

First of all, congratulations! :) I second the eating well and finding a midwife advice... I have 6 kids, am a doula and childbirth educator, and have been a student midwife. My first two are 15 months apart. I have nursed the previous baby through the next pregnancy with each of them (with the exception of the first one! LOL). Anyway, as long as you are eating well, and your pregnancy is progressing fine, you have nothing to worry about.

I cannot add to what these wise ladies have already told you... follow your heart. You can always wean your older child later if you start having contractions or if you decide you don't want to tandem nurse. Do what you feel comfortable with. :) Keep us posted and I wish you

-- Toni (dabblmom@aol.com), February 04, 2002.

Suz, you know how you feel better than anyone....don't let anyone make you feel guilty either way! It is up to you and either way it will be the right choice because YOU made it. Take all of our advice and then decide what will work for you. Everyone of us is different! Some people have a baby every year and never have a bit of trouble...doesn't mean that some that have trouble are wimpy...just that everyone is different. Not a good thing for those that don't have any trouble to judge those that do! So if you begin having contractions, or just don't feel "right", your instincts are the best for you! Take care! and God Bless!

-- Nan (davidl41@ipa.net), February 04, 2002.

Toni, we must have posted at the same time.....I would Amen to what you just said! They say that great minds and all.......LOL!

-- Nan (davidl41@ipa.net), February 04, 2002.

I would definately ask some more doctors. I have talked to three different ones and they all said it was fine to breastfeed while pregnant. I mean you have been doing for three months anyway. Unless you have some specific problem that keep you from it. I could see it might be a problem if you are extremely underweight. Definately not my problem. lol My daughter just weaned herself about two weeks ago. She's a year and a half and I am 26 weeks pregnant. But my experience was my milk supply decreased dramatically at about five months. So my daughter just kind of quit on her own. Good luck and congrats.

-- renabeth (renabeth@yahoo.com), February 04, 2002.

Here's a link to a board that discusses this very subject:

http://boards.parentsplace.com/messages/get/pppregnursing35.html

-- Anita in NC (anitaholton@mindspring.com), February 04, 2002.

Well, so much for nursing being great birth control, eh?

I'm a midwife, trained in a hospital by obstetricians, though not a nurse. do I count?

There is no problem with nursing throughout your pregnancy usually. However, if you are prone to miscarriage, you may not be able to.

As far as beyond a general yes or no goes, you might find you won't want to later. your nipples will probably become more tender. also, your milk might lessen greatly and she can't nurse. Is she eating food pretty well? If not, get her started doing so in case your milk dries up.

Do NOT deliberately attempt to eat extra, or anything like that. Eat as needed, and you will probably need smaller meals more frequently. You will be just fine if you follow your body and needs.

I nursed through my second pregnancy. No problems. Ate normally. Gained weight, had a very healthy baby.

NOW, HERE IS SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT TO CONSIDER: My biggest regret is that I gave too much of myself to the oldest child and the youngest child didn't get his fair share. What I mean is I was in such mouring having a second child, worried about what the first would do and how the first would feel that I think now I shortchanged the youngest. The oldest had time with me alone, and the youngest always had to share the nursing, etc. Me? I found I HATED nursing two kids. I'm being really honest here. I couldn't stand tandem nursing (nursing two at once) and so even though I could have been done in a half hour, I would nurse them separately and it would take twice the time. I was completely touched out, and couldn't stand even have my husband hug me (unless I had a meltdown crying from being overwhelmed). I only share this aspect of nursing two to give you something to consider.

You don't have to wean if it is impossible, but consider that the milk might decrease, and anything you can do to postpone nursing is good. If you can NOT nurse overnight and make the oldest drink from a cup instead, this is one bit of respite for you. If you can nurse first thing in the morning, and then postpone it until nap time, EXCELLENT. Look for small ways to distract her, make her wait, and lessen the times nursing.

Good luck! Write if you have more questions. Eat well, and know this: ALL WILL BE WELL!!! THIS BABY WAS MEANT TO BE!!!

-- marcee (thathope@mwt.net), February 04, 2002.

Oh Suz, I am so happy for you. I LOVED nursing. I think there are a lot of wonderful women giving advice here too. Oh how I wish I could do it again! (i think?) Well, anyway...congratulations. I would love to participate in a nursing Moms forum. Shall we start one? So many women have big and little problems with this ancient art. And so many of us have such a store of info we could do a terrific service by sharing. I was asked to be a leader in La Leache League 25 years ago. but being a Mom of babys takes so much time and energy I didn't have the gumption then. I sure do now tho. LET'S TALK BIRTHIN' AND BABIES AND NURSING! Here's my short story..1st babe in 1972, thought it would all come natural HA. She almost starved and I was miserable. We quite at 6 weeks. 2nd babe in 1976. Got smart and sought out help with the La Leache League and nursed for 3 years on the dot. No solid food until 1 year (unless my Mother slipped a little in, bless her heart.) At his 3rd bday I said "it's all gone" and he never argued :). Third babe in 1981, she was too busy to be much interested and weaned herself by the time she was 6 months. Thanks for listening. Blessings to all,

-- Susan in Northern Michigan (cobwoman@yahoo.com), February 05, 2002.

Thank you all for such informative posts and heart felt advice. I very much appreciate it. Suz.

-- Suz in Pa (smfine@yahoo.com), February 05, 2002.

Susan, I think your idea for a forum is great!! Count me in!

Suz, have you heard of the natural family magazine, Mothering? It has lots of great articles about breastfeeding, pregnancy, etc. It usually can be found in your local natural food store. And I beleive the website address is www.mothering.com Good luck and let us know how you are doing!

-- Bren (wayoutfarm@skybest.com), February 05, 2002.

instead of formula, have you considered goat milk? my milk w/##4 dried up at 8 months (work and stress-long story) i have dairy goats, put him on that and he never had any problem-not that everyone switches to goat milk (i use raw) ok, but it's a suggestion. another option to formula. yes, i fed it whole. he's 21 months old and healthy as can be. has been sick once his life, other than runny noses-that was this winter when everyone in his life was sick. i swear by goat milk for most people. it is an excellent product and we are much healthier than when we were drinking "sewer milk" (as my 9 yr old d. calls it) from the store. we rarely get sick now. do what your body tells you-you know it best.

-- laura (okgoatgal@hotmail.com), March 27, 2002.