I've had it! Enough of this nonsense! How much money would everyone save if people were to be held accountable for their OWN slips and falls, their OWN mistakes??? Tell me the most ridiculous lawsuit you have ever heard of, and propose an efficient and fair solution.

-- Anonymous, February 08, 2002

Answers

I heard something on the radio about a group of obese people getting together to sue the fast-food industry. I consider that pretty ridiculous. Don't like what they serve? Think it makes you fat? Hel-lo?! Stop eating it!

-- Anonymous, February 08, 2002

OK, the most ridiculous lawsuit I ever heard about was one that was actually justified. The facts of the case made it ridiculous.

This is one of my Three Dead Men stories, courtesy of my now dearly departed father who read about it in an insurance journal and nearly had to be taken to the hospital when he could not stop laughing about it.

The man in the story was in the privacy of his own bathroom and, well... he was, as it said in the article, "in the habit of attempting to light his odiferous gases," and evidently on this unfortunate day, he tried and was successful.

He caused a ball of flame to flare up and engulf his privates, setting his crotch on fire. In an attempt to save himself, he leapt into the bathtub and either hit his head, or had a heart attack, and died.

His wife walked in moments later and found him, dead in the bathtub, with a flaming weiner.

The lawsuit came later, when she had to sue the insurance company to collect his life insurance. They wouldn't pay, because they said the man committed suicide.

-- Anonymous, February 08, 2002

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

What a good story!

My dad is an attorney, and in one case he was representing the insurance company that was involved in a case where the family of an elderly man were suing the nursing home the man had been entrusted to. The nursing home starved the old man to death.

Then, while on trial, the owner of the nursing home (who was in court every day as the defendant) was arrested for child molestation.

Thankfully, the family won their case and millions of dollars. I only hope that the child molester/grampa killer is in prison getting ass raped daily by big men who love children and grampas.

-- Anonymous, February 08, 2002

Have y'all heard about the brownie guy? The full story's here. ..

A man was tired of his co-workers eating his lunches out of the company refrigerator, so one day he brought laxative-laced brownies to work to catch the culprit. One guy had such serious bowel issues as a result that he is suing him! I thought, "fuck you, man, you were pilfering the guy's lunch every day. Fair is fair."

Then I found out that the brownie guy didn't just leave them in his spot in the fridge... he put them out on a big open table in the middle of the break room, where all foodstuffs become "community property." So, that was uncool. Before I heard that part, I was all "yay for the little guy!"

Despite the fact that you know that brownie-lacer is probably some socially-underdeveloped conspiracy theorist who sat home in his dimly-lit basement every night for weeks coming up with this plan.

-- Anonymous, February 08, 2002

Christ on a cracker.

"We hope that by filing this lawsuit, we can send a message to other strippers: keep your bra size within a reasonable range."

-- Anonymous, February 08, 2002

Kandy Kane made a statement through her attorneys: "I thought he liked it in there. "

The Pretty Kitty declined comment.

Seriously. This can not be real...

-- Anonymous, February 08, 2002

No, it's not.

-- Anonymous, February 08, 2002