My mothers little brother Harley, came over for a visit one day in the summer of 1966. I don't remember Harley coming to visit much by himself.However, On this day, he came over to get a ride into town. I don't remember what he had to go to town for, but he needed Mum to take him. Harley was to young to drive at the time.

Mum hardly ever went anywhere without all her kids tagging along. This had been how it was since I could remember. I was five-years-old at the time, and Mum was 22.She was already worn down mentally from all us kids, and it seemed like everyday we brought her closer to a nervous breakdown.

Mum liked her families company and so did us kids.I always looked forward to trips to town when one of Mums brothers or sisters was with us. Harley was always fun to have around. He had a great sense of humor and an incredible laugh. Harley always treated each of us like we were his favorite neice or nephew.

When we got back home from town, Mum and Harley stood in the front yard talking. Us kids played around them until Mum told us to, "go play!" Bobby and I decided to go play in the car.

The car was parked on the hill by the old potato barn.Bobby said, "it's my turn to drive!" I climbed into the front passengers seat while Bobby took his place in the drivers seat. Bobby put both hands on the steering wheel and started sputtering like an old car with a bad muffler. I sat looking out the side window. I pretended like we were passing people on the street, and I waved to all the imaginary people, I pretended they were waving back. I felt real proud of Bobby and I. We were out cruising around like the kids I had seen on television, who always drove up to the drive-in food joints, where the girls wore roller skates and skated out to your car, to take your order.

Bobby was having a hard time seeing where he was going, so he stood up on the seat and and looked out the window. Bobby still wasn't happy with the way he was driving so he put both his legs in the steering wheel, until he was in the sitting position. He was happy with this set up. Bobby started rocking his little body back and forth. He must have imagined we were going fast, because he was really making a roaring car sound now. Every so often he would make a sound like he was shifting gears. I thought Bobby was doing good enough at driving, so I could sit back and enjoy a smoke. I pretended to take a pack of cigs out from under my tee shirt sleeve. I tapped my right hand on my left hand to get a cigarette out of the pack. I took an air cigarette and put it between my lips. I held my lips in a puckered fashion so as to look like I had a real smoke between them. I pushed the cigarette lighter in to get it hot. I asked Bobby if he would like a smoke too? Bobby told me he didn't smoke.

As Bobby drove on, I blew smoke rings into the air. I ran a comb through my greased back hair. I looked out the car window and lifted my hand with the imaginary cig. I would wave my hand once in a stiff manor. This was the way the tuff guys waved on television.

I put my cigarette out in the ashtray, and pushed the lighter back in. I needed another smoke. I didn't think I looked cool like the guys on the tv, unless I was smoking. Bobby looked cool enough just driving.

Bobby was really rocking back and forth in the steering wheel now. And, he must have been flying down the city streets because he was making a screeching sound like tires make when you go around a corner fast. He was also doing a lot of gear shifting and spitting on the windshield.But he was happy just pretending like he was shifting gears anymore.

The cigarette lighter popped out, I lifted it to my imaginary cig. Bobby started playing with the stick shift. Not a good move on his part. The car started rolling backwards down the hill towards the house. My little brother was really excited now. He thought his driving was the real thing. I started panicking. I took the red hot lighter and started hitting Bobby on the hands with it. I was also jumping up and down on the front seat, making sounds which could best be described as a chimpanzee gone mad. Bobby started making the same sounds. He was also bouncing around. I think more of his sounds and movements were caused from the burns I was putting on his hands, with the lighter.

Bobby did great at keeping the car under control as we picked up speed. I knew the car would eventually stop, it had to, it was headed right for the house.My brother stayed in the steering wheel and rocked back and forth, while looking over his right shoulder. I was still making the funny chimp noises.

Just as we got within a few feet of the house, I looked out the side window and saw Harley running as fast as he could for the car. Harley ran around the front of the car and in no time had the car stopped. Our joy-ride was over. Again, Bobby and I had created a little excitement for our mother. She was upset and told us to go into the house and go to bed. Bobby thought he could get out of trouble if he pointed at the burns on his hands. All he got was his burns taken care of, and then he was in bed just like me.

Bobby still has a scars on his hand in the shape of a ring, from the lighter burn, and he makes sure he shows them to me often.

-- george nh (rcoopwalpole@aol.com), February 22, 2002

Answers

George, I really got laughing at this story. It's just how I remember it.

Love You, Bobby

-- Bobby FL (rsm1962@msn.com), February 22, 2002.

Thank you George!

-- Debbie in MO (risingwind@socket.net), February 22, 2002.

Wuv you Georgie!!

Your Sister

-- Carlie Rae Bechard (carlieraeb@hotmail.com), February 23, 2002.

Do you know how hard it is to type on the computer while laughing with tears rolling down your cheeks?!? Good one George. Bobby - again my sympathies!

-- Michael W. Smith in North-West Pennsylvania (kirklbb@penn.com), February 24, 2002.

Gee, all I ever did was run the lawnmower into the side of the barn!

-- Christine in OK (cljford@mmcable.com), February 24, 2002.

George i laughed soo hard when i read this story Shantel thought i was looosing my mind. Boys how i love to laugh like that love and miss ya bunches LOVE

-- kandi libby (hillsidesodfarm@aol.com), March 14, 2002.

Hi Kandi Sue, glad you got a laugh. So good to know my family is coming to the forum. Hope you all read over some of the other threads here, they are very interesting.

Someday maybe I will write about you skipping school for the first time at five-years-old. You bad girl!

Love you too!

-- george nh (rcoopwalpole@aol.com), March 14, 2002.