I just have a quick statment. My husband and I have been looking into homesteading for a while and want that life really bad. What my question is. Will be be accepted in a small rual community. I have 5 tatoos and 8 body piercings. But I also stay at home and homeschool my oldest daughter. She is in kindergarden and doing second grade work. I love her and my 15 month old daughter as well. I teach her good christian values and try to teach her lost handiarts. She is 5 years old and embrodiering patches for her first quilt. I bake,I sew,I do sampliers, I make butter and those are just a few. My husband has a large tatoo if the cord of three strands on his neck and a few others. He looks a lot like grizzly Adams. We don't look like you but are in a sense the same. Our children mind us quite well and when they don't they get spankings. I have met very few people who have children as well behaved as mine. But in the city we are sometimes treated as "less then" because of the way we look. Is it going to be impossible for us to live in a small community and have real friends.

Jennifer

-- Jennifer (jenniferthf@aol.com), February 22, 2002

Answers

Hello Jennifer,

I don't think it really matters about piercing or tattoos in the country. My wife and I have tattoos and no one seems to mind. Of course Our county have around 100 bikers living in it and they have plenty of tattoos and piercings. They work, live and play in harmony with everyone else.

I think it is more important to be honest and trustworthy with the country people. If you are that then you will fit in fine.

Sincerely,

Ernest

-- Http://communities.msn.com/livingoffthelandintheozarks (espresso42@hotmail.com), February 22, 2002.

Jennifer, I am a product of the 60 - 70, we had a reason to rebell aganist the establishment; the Viet Nam war, drafted at 18 but couldn't vote until 21, there was a reason. What is your reason for self disfigurement today? If you can state what is the reason - we can understand. Do not exspect understanding unless you can explain it. we are listening.......

-- mitch hearn (moopups@citlink.net), February 22, 2002.

Jennifer, if they dislike you for your tattoos and piercings, then they're not worth being friends with. My hubby and I both have tattoos - although you can't see mine unless you know me VERY well.... and he has more piercings in his ears than I do! Nobody here in rural Kansas seems to care. I've come to find that most people who are homesteaders don't care too much about appearances. Most seem to embrace each others' differences. So I say, God bless you, and just be who you are!

-- Cheryl in KS (cherylmccoy@rocketmail.com), February 22, 2002.

Come on down to the middle of Ky. Sounds like it would be cool living next to you. I have a few also on me. Don't matter what the City Folks think about it. I like em so does wife and kids (from 7 yoa to 23 yoa).No big deal.You should see the neighbors when I set my 18" lodge up or put on my Civil War reenacting uniform and go shooting out back. Don't matter what they think. No big deal.The way I see it, If they don't like it, They can stay away....

-- John R (jroution@kih.net), February 22, 2002.

Guess that would matter what was pierced and what the tatoos said.

-- gary (gws@columbus.rr.com), February 22, 2002.

Move in next to Ernest then! Small towns also have very small minds and attitudes. You won't be an outsider because of your tattoos or piercings, you are an outsider because you aren't related to half of the town :) First rule of being a countrysider no matter if you live in town or not, is to do what you want, when you want and where you want! The very best feeling in the world is to be self sufficient and debt free, its when you owe someone something that causes problems. Who cares what folks think about you? vicki

-- Vicki McGaugh TX (vickilonesomedoe@hotmail.com), February 22, 2002.

It very much depends on WHERE you settle. New Mexico is more tolerant of retreaded hippies and modern life escapees. LOL

Where I live, if you weren't born here and Czech, you are an outsider, even after 20 + years.

Their big question was... who were you before you married? Pedigree is important here. I have learned to do my own thing and not worry about them. No, I don't have very many friends in the local community.

-- Rose in Czech Texas (open_rose@hotmail.com), February 22, 2002.

I know at least one homesteader who has her chin pierced. To be honest, I find it a little distracting when I'm trying to talk to her. But she's a nice person and I like her. I always have to resist the temptation to ask if it hurts! It sure looks like it would...

Go somewhere with plenty of hippie types and I think you will fit in fine. That or northern Idaho. :-)

-- Rebekah (daniel1@itss.net), February 22, 2002.

Anywhere in the world you go, the majority of the people judge the book by the cover. So your friends will likely come from the minority who don't.

-- snoozy (bunny@northsound.net), February 22, 2002.

Snoozy is right. I only have a couple piercings (one per ear, to be exact), but I have some pretty serious scars on my legs. In warm weather when I'm wearing shorts or take the kids to the beach, I do get stared at. I realize that scars are different from piercings and tattoos, but they still draw people's eyes and that is still their first impression. I've decided, over time, that I don't really care. If they're so shallow that all they'll rely on is first impressions, than that's their loss, not mine! When you make your move to the country, get involved in some groups where you will have a common interest. Join a homeschooling group or a quilting group or a church or whatever floats your boat. Then you will have a common interest to draw their attention away from your physical appearance and offer them something to talk with you about. Also, for the neighbors who live nearest to you, make them things and visit briefly, sharing the bounty of your homestead. I find that generosity on my part bounces back to me a hundred fold. I do not mean that I expect anything in return nor do I mean that I get gifts of produce, etc. in return. Most often, I get friendship in return by reaching out and offering a little bit of myself to someone else. You could even practise in the city first and see if it works there.

-- Sheryl in ME (radams@sacoriver.net), February 22, 2002.

That is the way to say it SHeryl.... I have scars from previous marriage...and boy do people stare.... I do have 2 peircings in each ear, but no others and no tatoos... You be who you are JENNIFER... Dont let others dictate to you... All of us has a skeleton or two, and no one can judge another person because of it... I would love to have you as a neighbor, I have well behaved kids and we spank too, only as neccesary of course. I hated to use the word skeleton, because I dont want to impress on you I think your piercings and tatoo's are wrong, I dont. Just the only word I could think of to get my point across. THIS IS STILL AMERICA, PEOPLE!!! you know , the land of the FREE... GO BE FREE JENNIFER!!!

-- Kristean Thompson (pigalena_babe@yahoo.com), February 22, 2002.

The first thing I thought of when I read," We don't look like you..." was don't look like who??? you are talking to a wide range of people out here,

-- Thumper (slrldr@yahoo.com), February 22, 2002.

I, too, thought your comment "we don't look like you" was interesting....How do you know what we look like??

Some days I dress pretty crazy - some mornings I look pretty nasty - some days my hair sticks up - some days it lays down - etc., etc.

Appearance is not the most important quality of a person.

-- hmm (h.m.metheny@att.net), February 22, 2002.

Sounds like we might have a lot of interests in common and could probably be friends. Most of the places we've lived we been "outsiders" even though we are more conservative when it comes to tattoes and piercings. We have found that most of our friends wherever we've moved were "outsiders" too.

I would have one question though and really would like to understand where you are coming from on this...How do christian values square with body mutilations?

From what I understand, Christians are to dress modestly and in such a way as to glorify God and not draw undue attention to themselves and they are to determine how that is according to their conscience and by what scripture teaches. (Not by a set of rules made up by man).

LBD PS: I thought Grizzly Adams was cute.

-- LBD in Maryland (lavenderbluedilly@hotmail.com), February 22, 2002.

Some rural communities would run you out of town for sure. Other areas wouldn't be too much different than your experiences in the city. Maybe it shouldn't be that way but just a fact of life. For the same reasons you generally won't see facial piercings or tattoos in professional settings.

It's true that if do those things to your body, you will be shunned from many circles. Even if you are a normal person, you will be associated with the abnormal. I don't know anyone who takes a person with facial piercings serious except maybe other pierced people. I've never met anyone with one of those idiotic tongue piercings that could be taken seriously and looked at like a stable well-rounded person. I personally wouldn't handicap myself intentionally like that and the piercing and tattoo fad of the last decade does seem to border on self-multilation. People sure aren't doing it to make themselves more attractive.

20 years ago starting in high school I had a pierced ear and long hair but later realized I was putting myself at a disadvantage in society so I got rid of them and alot of doors opened that were previously closed. I know a few people who tatooed and pierced themselves to the point of not be able get anywhere in life. It's difficult to find a good job or rent a nice place when you look like a freak. One of them spent 1000s of dollars in plastic surgery/tattoo removal and is now able to work in a professional setting and her life got much better. The others are barely getting through life, all because of they thought at one time those tats and piercings were cool. Of course it's not that way for everyone but it generally is for most.

-- Dave (something@somewhere.com), February 22, 2002.

Jennifer, Please don't spank the children. If you (or your husband) do something wrong or mischievious do you think you deserve to be Slapped, Hit, Spanked? I'm only asking this because I care, not because I want to critisize.

-- Susan in Northern LP Michigan (cobwoman@yahoo.com), February 23, 2002.

About ten years ago, we moved from the city to a very small conservative town. After a few years, we joined the church. I've been in many conversations about how welcoming our community is to strangers. You see, I'm handicapped...and I also have a habit of being very straight forward with my opinions. I had the attitude that, if some didn't like me, oh well! What-you-see-is-what-you-get! I think, Jennifer, most people might look twice at your tattos and such, but they will judge you by what is in your heart.

-- Ardie/WI (ardie54965@hotmail.com), February 23, 2002.

Hey Mitch;

Why on God's good earth would someone have to explain their actions to YOU!!!! What makes your values any better than theirs just 'cause you grew up in the 60's. Well so did I!

As far as any Christian thoughts that somehow God will get less glory from someone with piercings and tattoos is absurd. God is interested in our soul. Our relationship with Him is not based on how our physical body looks. If that were the case there would be a mirror at the Pearly Gates so we could brush our hair before entering.

Jennifer.. DON'T be the least bit concerned about what people think of you and how you or your family look. My parents ruined the first 40 years of my life by starting me off as a child making sure OTHER people were pleased with me. Ya' know what .. no matter what I did or tried to do there was someone who wasn't going to be pleased no matter what I did.

It was after many miserable years and finally a coming to Christ (sorry to get religious here but that's what happened) did I realize that the only thing that matters is MY relationship with God. He loves me no matter what my faults, and warts and yes, piercings and tattoos. Please Him first.. family second and forget about what any other insensitive idiots might say!

Come to Maine, Sheryl and her family and I and mine, will welcome you with open arms.

God Bless

-- Ken in Maine (Kenjan@pivot.net), February 23, 2002.

Jennifer, Ernest and Vicki are completley correct. People are much more concerned with your honesty, dependability and integrity *over time*. At first you will be looked at a bit strangely, but as you prove your character, that will all change. But you will still be an outsider in a small town. Smile a lot, and be friendly and set yourself to ignore people's shock. Give them time.

I know this from experience! I have 11 piercings, and 25% coverage. After a time folks will say-"Ya know, they're all right. They might look kinda weird, but they are good inside." That is also what God is concerned about.

However, you might not want to flaunt your tattoos at the insurance company intially.

Mitch is an ignoramus.

-- (not@now.com), February 23, 2002.

Now, Now, If you're gonna call someone names, you'd better put a real email address, or risk getting your post canned. Having been shot at, I personally would like to end this life with the same number of holes in my body as I started with. Maybe that's what Ol' Mitch was thinking. (ha ha)

-- Chuck (reply@mission4me.com), February 23, 2002.

Ken, I am an older male who does not understand why the currant styles have to be so radically gruesome. I was asking the young woman to explain - no where did I place a question about values. I would not eat at a diner if the server has excessive piercings - it looks unsanitary. If my dentist had a eagle tatooed on his forehead - I would not sit down in the chair. Would I deal with a real estate agent that went out of his way to display 16 tatoos by wearing a sleeveless shirt? No. These young people are setting themselves up to fail in this life, have minium wage jobs, be thought of as outcasts. FOR WHAT REASON?????

-- mitch hearn (moopups@citlink.net), February 23, 2002.

I usually do not care what anyone thinks...I have three degrees, have a desirable career, am back to school for another round, BUT I am a country girl and always will be one. So if yah see me drinking a cold one and carrying a shot gun, I'm at home, and happy. Oh and my dog is probably by my side, but he don't bite if you don't bother me.

-- julie (jbritt@ceva.net), February 23, 2002.

I've never been into piercings...my first thought upon viewing them is "Owwwwww!" But I do have visible tattoos. And yes, once in a while I have people do a double-take when they first see them, and I get a kick out of it! I can hear their mind working: "...WoW! I didn't know she had THOSE! But--she seems smart! She has kids, and I think she even works at the school! I don't see any motorcycles around...hmmm...???" In other words, people need a minute (or more) to realize that not ALL tattooed people fit the biker-stereotype. I've had more than one person express surprise upon meeting my husband, after first having met me. Because I have tattoos and am rather outspoken and not at all reserved, people seem to expect my husband to be this big, rough, burly guy. They are surprised that he has no tattoos, is clean-cut, and looks like an executive. We both get a kick out of watching people's expectations fall apart!(Nothing against bikers...I mention the stereotype only because I think most people know what I mean by it. I like bikers!)

-- Shannon at Grateful Acres Animal Sanctuary (gratacres@aol.com), February 23, 2002.

Hi Mitch;

First let me say that I entirely agree with your opening statement. I'm 53 and very much a conservative type person.. For the most part you might consider me to be a closet recluse. People are not necessarily tops on my list of relationship development. I also don't understand why these young folks act the way they do. My theory is that because of the generation previous to ours ( our mom and dads) we have not been good at giving kids real role models and life altering values because we didn't have good role models in our lives. The great generation was too busy exploring all their freedoms and wealth after WW11 than to spend too much time teaching their kids how to be future adults. I know in my case both parents worked and I was an early " latchkey " kid. We are now a couple of generations removed from stay at home moms and dads who walked to work.

My daughter runs a daycare on the Cape and it's amazing how most of these kids are treated by their parents as just so much baggage to find a place for.

Okay I'm rambling... I could spend hours discussing this one topic. But these people who are into piercings and tattoos are, in my opinion, screaming out for love and attention. " Looking for love in all the wrong places" as the song goes. Their parents ( and I'm not talking about anyone in particular, but the world in general) were busy making money and working than giving love and attention to their children.

Yes, they seemingly have set themselves up to failure BUT and this is a strong BUT.. this can be turned around. Folks like you and I who have kinda been wearing blinders must change our attitudes towards these young people. They may or may not have destined themselves to some preconsieved notion of sucess or failure but WE need to meet them where they are and help to move them forward in life. I'm sure that many folks acted out in their youth and are now regretting their actions but we all carry some scars either obvious or hidden that don't condemn us to a less than fullfilling life.

Let's make a point of helping to bring anyone along by answering their questions in a positive manner and not worry about some things that they can not change. He who is without sin cast the first stone.

Ken

-- Ken in Maine (Kenjan@pivot.net), February 23, 2002.

A gentleman who lives near me named Perry Gaidurgis wrote a thought provoking article on this topic. It's called Rebel Without a Clue

-- Chuck (reply@mission4me.com), February 23, 2002.

FWIW - Most people get tatoos because they mean something to them. I'm getting a tattoo, probably this summer, after waiting and thinking about it for 16 years. I've wanted one forever and I still do. So after waiting this long, I know I'll have no regrets. And the tattoo I will be getting will have MEANING to me. The only thing I have pierced is my ears (five in all). These body adornments are just that...adornments. People pierce & tatto just the same way as woman wear perfume, makeup and snazzy clothes; just the same way as mean wear cologne, shave their beards, etc. EVERY person in this world is individualistic - and there are many ways of displaying this.

Jennifer - I'm with Ardie on this one (she's my mother btw). We moved to the country, from the "big city." Yes, it does take time to blend into the community, but if get active and show them the type of person you are on the inside, you will be accepted. Yes, you might be thought of as unique or outrageous because of your looks, or in some cases, it might take longer because you weren't "born" into the community, but once people see inside your heart, then they'll know the real you.

Good luck - and don't let the idiots bring you down!

-- Lisa in WI (llehman16nospam@hotmail.com), February 23, 2002.

Very insightful article Chuck.

-- Melissa in SE Ohio (me@home.net), February 23, 2002.

Jennifer,

There are open-minded and narrow-minded people in every community- in some, the percentage swings more one way than the other.

IMHO, you should neither have to explain your reasons for the way you look, nor apologize for them. You are who you are. The people you meet will accept you and become your friends, or not, and if your appearance is the only reson that they turn away, you probably wouldn't want them around your family anyway. : 0

As far as Christian values not "fitting" with your appearance- PLEASE!I know tattooed and pierced people whose faith in the Lord is clear and strong and committed, and people who dress devoutly and conservatively, who espouse their beliefs to all and sundry, and whose behavior is not what most would call "Christian". Your appearance has no effect on your faith in Christ, and I'm a bit in awe that anyone would suggest that you are less than faithful because you look "different".

BTW, Randy & I are ex-musicians, artists, I used to have piercings, we dress the way we want to, etc., and are probably NOT what people expect of "devout Christians".That doesn't change the strength of our faith. Welcome to the club : )

-- Kristin, in La. (sevenstonestile@earthlink.net), February 23, 2002.

Lisa-I have to say it-where do you keep 5 ears!!!!

-- Jim NE KY (Jedeweese@earthlink.net), February 23, 2002.

In the bag. I made a speech - I said "Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears". This guy Vincent was right in front of the crowd - next thing I knew ....

-- Don Armstrong (darmst@yahoo.com.au), February 23, 2002.

I'm a product of the 60's as well. I will say that when I was going through the radical changes of the times I thought that others should accept me no matter how I looked or what I did. After all, I had a REASON didn't I? Later, I began to realize that it did matter what I looked like and how I acted. I grew up and had to put food on the table. That meant becoming more acceptable to people and begin to think about them for a change versus me. It's a two way street. If you intend to be outrageous, accept the consequences of your actions/ decisions and realize that not everyone around you is going to agree with you and what you do. Yes, it is your life and you can do with it as you like, just don't expect others to embrace it or you with open arms. My son has 4 tattoos (one from every place he has lived) and several piercings. But he wears a long sleeved shirt when at the office so that the tattoos are covered and does not wear anything in the piercings. Now, when he's is out with friends, it is a different story! If you intend to get along in your community, you first have to want to be a part of it. After all, you are the outsider and any attempt at "belonging" must first come from you. That may mean toning it down until your new neighbors get the opportunity to get to know you as a neighbor before they meet you as an individualist. Especially if you plan on moving to the country where your life may depend on your neighbors as help (police/fire/ambulance ect.) is rarely minutes away.

-- Lee S. (trainrx2@swbell.net), February 23, 2002.

Too funny, Jim! Let me clarify that - I have five piecings, two in one ear, three in the other! LOL!

-- Lisa in WI (llehman16nospam@hotmail.com), February 23, 2002.

Jennifer,

It takes a while to blend into any small community, regardless of how you look. Yes, there will probably be some who treat you as "less then". On the other hand, as long as you just be yourself, most will accept you for who you are not what you look like. When people see that you are a good person with good values, ect. you will be accepted for who you are and will have no problem making friends. It sounds like you have just made quite a few friends here on the forum. The people who don't or won't accept you for who you are, WHO CARES. It's their loss, not yours.

-- Murray in ME (lkdmfarm@megalink.net), February 23, 2002.

Christ worn the only body piercings I will ever need!

-- Sissy Barth (iblong2Him@ilovejesus.net), February 23, 2002.

Don-your on my wave-length! Jim

-- Jim NE KY (ddew1962@earthlink.net), February 23, 2002.

Sorry, grammar police, ;o{ You're on my wave-length

-- Jim NE KY (ddew1962@earthlink.net), February 23, 2002.

Out herein very rural USA it seem like most people looking like you describe really don't get to far. I don't know of any working in any business around here---maybe a bar or junk yard. Owners don't want to project that type image. Once was a lady was hired down at the bank with a few tatoos, but she was gone in a few weeks. People who want to mark themselves up are going to pay a price if they choose to try to mix with the unmarked. It's just a fact of life. Ron

-- Ron (speedstar5558@yahoo.com), February 23, 2002.

Jennifer,

This is for those who claim Christianity and will have no relevance to non-believers...

I tried to make it clear in my post but some people still took it the wrong way.

As a Christian, no matter what you do, you should be able to support what you do with Scripture. Not by comparing yourself with other, sinful, fallen people who make mistakes.

How do you support what you do with Scripture which is our ultimate authority? Whether you pierce or not pierce, you should have a Biblical basis for it?

Since you claim to teach the values of Christ to your children I assume you would want to have a Biblical reason for everything single thing you do. The Bible teaches that it has all that is necessary for life and godliness.

As for my friends...I don't care if they have piercings or tattoos or not. Being a friend doesn't mean I have to agree with their body mutalations.

-- LBD, Maryland (lavenderbluedilly@hotmail.com), February 24, 2002.

Old English country saying: Handsome is as handsome does.

Mixed in with the colostrum, we all get our prejudices with our mother's milk and they are the law of the universe until we can make up our own minds, then it's up to us; we can stay on the doctrinal teat or we can examine and compare other's "laws of the universe". Those that take the second path have the harder task; while exploring the horizons they have to be careful not to inadvertantly tread in the dogma of folks in the first category - and you will find a lot of it at the end of gravel roads, usually shortly before where the bull**** stops and the bear**** starts. There may also be some that look like the first category and think like the second (weenies/weaners?) who would have loved a tattoo or an ear stud when it was fashionable but didn't want to be "shunned", and are waiting for you to come and tip the balance in the community.

In response to a similar to a similar posting, Don Armstrong, as always, (is he really an Aussie?) gave some good advice: If you can afford it, rent there for a year. You don't need to learn how to quote the Book of Revelations (its a REALLY bad sign if the preacher reads from it and doesn't know he's holding it upside down!), just be yourselves and keep your heads down - but not too far down.

If it doesn't work out, you're young enough to wipe your shoes, walk away and try again somewhere else. Just because you are considering other people's reactions, I have the feeling that you are a family that would be welcomed in most small communities. Good luck!

-- Griff (griff@hangnail.com), February 25, 2002.

Jennifer, Just had a thought. If you have any room left, how about "NIL CARBORUNDUM ILLEGITIMA"? Middle finger, perhaps?

-- Griff (griff@hangnail.com), February 25, 2002.

OK, a lot of this will either come across as negative, if you're eager to feel defensive; or will just be advice, if you're prepared to accept such. Your choice. Truth (and act on it) or consequences.

Also, a lot of it is aimed at other readers, rather than personally at you, Jennifer. I really feel that the subject needs as much coverage as possible.

Please take what I'm saying into account. It is meant as advice. You can be accepted into rural society with tats and piercing, no question, but all the words I put after this are true too, and you'd get along easier by considering them than by disregarding them.

You've put yourself at a disadvantage by disfiguring yourself. People now know there was at least a time when you didn't respect your body enough to leave it as it was given to you. You can, however, get past minor problems - if you're prepared to keep them minor. May take a month or two longer, but that's the result of your choice. Alternatively, if you WANT to make them major problems, you'll never get past them - THIS IS ENTIRELY YOUR CHOICE.

Think about 1 Corinthians 3:16 and onwards. Whether or not you agree, others will also be thinking about that. Even (or particularly) if they are not Christians, there are things which are off-putting to many people, and things which don't worry them so much. There's a real difference in perceptions, for instance, between tatooing of the body and limbs; and tattooing of the face: there's cultural variation here as well - I won't be upset about a Maori with a tattood face, whereas I definitely will be wary about someone with obvious prison- acquired tattoos.

There's another perceptual difference between ear piercing, and piercing of other parts. That may not be logical, but it IS real, and the results are real enough in the way some people will react to you. There are also difficulties with combinations: if you're now stuck with indelible facial tattoos that's one thing; but if to that you insist on adding rings through your eyebrows which you could obviously remove then people will know something about your level of self-respect, or the standards which you regard as self-respect; and will assume things from that about how reliable you may be.

Of course, when someone else said that tongue-piercing was idiotic, they were completely correct. It IS STUPID, and if anyone has it done then people will judge them on the basis of that self-evident stupidity; and some people prefer not to employ or deal with or buy from or even be seen with people who are so self-evidently stupid and self-hating. It is self-mutilation that is obviously negative, and no- one with any sense could ever argue otherwise, or think other people would think otherwise. Eye-brow and nasal piercing is also obviously self-hating and deliberately self-mutilating as well; but not quite as immediately self-damaging.

Those opinions aren't open to debate - they are true. You may wish people didn't think that way, but they do, and with good reason. If you don't want them to think that way about you, then don't do things that make them KNOW you are stupid. If you can't bring yourself to agree, then you have a severe problem with being unable to recognise reality, because regardless of the way you might wish things were, things still and always will obstinately remain the way they ARE.

-- Don Armstrong (from Australia - yes really) (darmst@yahoo.com.au), February 25, 2002.

Goodness, I must be really out of touch! I thought that tattoos and body piercing was a form of adornment! You know, like make-up and nail polish! I also thought it was a form of self-expression! I DO sometimes get the giggles when I see a teenager looking absurd, but I also remember doing some pretty silly things too.

I still contend that people are more interested in what is in our heart than anything you adorn your body with.

-- Ardie/WI (ardie54965@hotmail.com), February 25, 2002.

Well, as with geography small towns are all over the map. Some places will accept you and others places will still think of you as an outsider even after twenty years and despite the fact that you look and act just like them.

You need not explain to anyone why you have tattoos or piercings. It's none of their business. As another poster said what you have pierced and what your tattoos say or depict can make a big difference but if they're not obscene or unsanitary I wouldn't have a problem with you. Back when I was president of my local gun club we used to hold our meetings in the local VFW hall and I can tell you there were *plenty* of former combat vets in there with tatoos and some with piercings, nearly all of them older than me. Sounds like you do a lot of things that the rest of us homesteaders do. That would go a long way with me since we see so many folks who seem to want move out into the country and act like it's the suburbs. After fifteen years in a university town with folks from all over the world and every conceivable walk of life I find how a person *behaves* is ever so much more important than how they look. Plenty of folks who look just like me from a similar background that I've found would serve their best and highest purpose as the guest of honor at a hanging.

Some will, some won't, some do, some don't and some it's just as well.

The ones that don't, just pass them by and keep looking.

.......Alan.

-- Alan (athagan@atlantic.net), February 25, 2002.

It bothers me that some of you guys are referring to piercing and tattoos as self-mutilation and disfigurement. If you believe along those lines, then I hope that you ladies never paint your nails, or use make-up. And I hope that none of you wear jewelry or cut your hair. I mean really.... where do you get off disfiguring your hair like that?!?

-- Cheryl in KS (cherylmccoy@rocketmail.com), February 25, 2002.

I think people learn to look beyond appearance and accept you for the person you are. It may take them a while, but eventually they come around. Also, it depends upon the tattoos themselves as well--most probably have no problem with "Mother" or "USMC" but anything on the obscene or vulgar side (of course, depends upon who's seeing it), it might be a different story.

That said, depending upon your line of work, it can be hard to find jobs when you have tattoos and more than one piercing in each ear. For example, some job descriptions specifically state "no identifying marks" which also includes scarring. An example would be a job as a plainclothes security person. I also took a management class at one time, and one reason (in management's view) for not hiring people with tattoos is that getting one is usually an impulse thing (i.e. one is usually drunk, doing it on a dare or both), therefore showing unreliability. I don't know if that is the case anymore with people getting tattoos, things may have changed. Just something to think about.

I think as people get to know you, they will look past the pictures and love the person. Good luck in your search.

-- GT (nospam@nospam.com), February 25, 2002.