I think this originated on the internet, but don't know where it came from:

THE PROVERBS 31 WOMAN

The Proverbs 31 Woman rises hours before her family so she can press their clothes, artfully apply her make-up and fix them a hot breakfast. She bakes a batch of brownies for the school carnival and then spends quiet time with the Lord so she can cheerfully wake her family to the new day. She designs and sews the costumes for the church pageant, offers encouragement and homemade cookies to the neighbors and co-workers. She drives across town to take advantage of the freshest produce at the lowest prices and then rushes home so she can greet her husband with a smile and a kiss. They gather around the table for another gourmet meal as her husband and children shower her with praise. Afterward, they all sit around the fireplace for family devotions before she tucks her children into bed.

She sings them a song, kisses their sweet faces and then goes into the den to rub her husband's shoulders. Finally, she slips into her Victoria Secret lace gown and slides into her satin sheets. She falls asleep with a smile on her face just thinking about tomorrow and the joy it will bring.

THE PROVERBS 31 WOMAN -- IN PROGRESS

She wakes up late because her two-year-old dropped the alarm clock in the toilet. No time to iron her husband's shirt so she hangs it up in the bathroom and tells him the steam from his shower will take out the wrinkles. Breakfast consists of a pop tart. If they want a hot breakfast they can put it in the toaster. Her child reminds her he needs two dozen brownies for the school carnival, no time to bake so she sticks a bow on Aunt Mabel's fruitcake and assures him fruitcake is a favorite at carnivals! Morning devotions consist of "Lord, please let me get the kids to the bus stop on time." The church play is tonight and still no costume, so she rips the Mickey Mouse sheet from the bed and wraps it around her son's head. "Of course you look like a Shepherd Billy! And mice were plentiful in the Bible days." She realizes it's already Wednesday and her Community Bible Study lesson isn't even started. "I'll do it tonight after the kids are in bed" she thinks. She quickly puts some frozen TV dinners in the oven only to hear the doorbell ring and suddenly remembers tonight is the night she invited the new neighbors for dinner.

When she finally gets her children tucked into bed, she prays for them, tells them their favorite "Daniel and the Lion's Den" story for the 22nd time in a row, kisses their sweet faces as her little one places his hands on her face and says in his most angelic little voice, "Mommy?" "Yes sweetie?" "What's that green thing on your tooth?" She goes through the house and straightens it the best she can, slips into her T-shirt and sweats and slides into bed next to her sleeping husband. She opens her Bible and falls asleep before the first line is read.

-- HV (veggie@ourplace.com), February 23, 2002

Answers

The Virtuous Woman is a poem found in verses 10 through 31 of the 31st Chapter of Proverbs. These verses use each of the 22 letters of the Hebrew alphabet consecutively. Some biblical authorities believe the poem was written by Solomon, who had 700 wives and 300 concubines. Which may, or may not, indicate the odds of finding such an elusive creature.

-- paul (primrose@centex.net), February 23, 2002.

AHHHH, sometimes I have to remind my husband that "He who finds a wife, finds a good thing", not necessarily he who finds a "good" wife! heehee! It gets him grinning every time! Blessings all.....she says as she ladles Ramen noodle soup into bowls, chunks crackers onto the table....and continues to prepare for company that is staying for 5 days! Yikes! Take care all! Just had to peek in and see what ya'll were up to!

-- Nan (davidl41@ipa.net), February 23, 2002.

Paul...the elusive creature lives in all us homesteading women.

-- Harmony Bullington (harmonyfarm57@hotmail.com), February 23, 2002.

Harmony, y'all should let her out more often.

-- paul (primrose@centex.net), February 23, 2002.

Shoot, everybody deserves a good breakfast, a hug and a kiss, and good dinner. The rest is catch as catch can. God knows it's not a one man (one woman) job to care for a household.

-- Nina (ingardenwithcat@hotmail.com), February 24, 2002.

Why are you wasting homesteading time on this church or religious stuff? What a waste.

-- DF (This is@stupid.org), February 24, 2002.

DF, yes it is and we are so glad that you have joined in.

-- paul (primrose@centex.net), February 24, 2002.

DF, Homesteading takes all sorts.

Currently, this sort is finding encouragement from other homesteaders of the same sort.

Go find your own sort in another thread, ok? Nobody made you read all the way through the post.

If you want to keep reading, please be nice.

-- LBD, in MD (lavenderbluedilly@hotmail.com), February 24, 2002.

Paul you have an interesting sense of humor.

-- Anne (HealthyTouch101@wildmail.com), February 24, 2002.

Anne, my sense of humor is perhaps less refined and more devious than that of others, but it is old and well-worn and has served me as best it could. I hope that yours will serve you as faithfully.

-- paul (primrose@centex.net), February 25, 2002.

Paul, I meant that as a compliment. Should have added a smiley face. ;) I LIKE your humor!

-- Anne (HealthyTouch101@wildmail.com), February 25, 2002.

Any man who wants a Good Wife should have her!

Of course, there being no such thing as a free lunch, he should realize that he will then be obligated to be a Good Husband.

Before saying "I DO" he may wish to pause and ponder the implications of that.

;)

......Alan.

-- Alan (athagan@atlantic.net), February 25, 2002.