I love reading through the forum here...Been there, done that and even swapped for the T-shirt.

I find myself attracted to threads like "Where did my guinea's go? What ate my guineas?

I remember many years ago when the wife brought home our first guinea hens. I don't believe I'd ever seen such a creature before. Looked like a Cornish game hen with a pinhead.

From the beginning I was not into these critters. I firmly believe in preparing for the arrival of any new addition to the family farm and I didn’t feel we had the facilities for them.

The wife assured me that they would be no problem; they'll just go roost with the chickens in the hen house. OK, what do I know about African chickens.

Their first day on the homestead was fairly routine. Being the new kids on the block, they wandered around in a tight group trying to find their nitch in life.

We noticed right off that the guineas didn't care for the two story accommodations supplied the resident chickens. They apparently preferred the banty chickens' habit of roosting in any handy tree on the property. I really didn't care all that much, I hate cleaning out the hen house anyway. Any chicken or relative thereof is generally welcome to stake out any tree on the property without any complaint from me.

Problems were evident early on in out relationship. I have to leave early every day for work but make certain that every critter has been fed and has fresh water available to them. I never have resented getting up early and in fact always valued my "quiet" times caring for the critters before work.

My first morning with the guineas was "eye opening", to say the least. I scattered feed beneath the roosting tree and wasn't too surprised to be attacked by swooping feathered objects, who knows, maybe they'd been talking all night with the banty chickens. I was unprepared however for the ungodly cacophony that accompanied these things. How could the volume possibly come out of their scrawny little necks? For those of you that have raised them, you know! Foisting them off on unsuspecting homesteaders us just flat out unethical.

I know my wife was all excited by these things. I know she had visions of retiring as a millionaire homesteader by selling the offspring of these creatures to other unsuspecting back-to-the-landers.

I want you to know that I was a patient husband. I too, wanted to come home from work one day to hear, " You don't have to go to work anymore honey, we have made enough off of guinea hens that you can sleep in from now on. Oh yeah, from now on I'll be serving you breakfast in bed."

From the time I arrived home at the end of the town day, I was greeted and constantly followed by these noisy beasts. Did I say noisy? These things are the epitome of NOISY!

The wife could never figure out why there was never any increase in the flock. She did find the occasional clutch of eggs hidden in the nearby woods, but never had chicks following the adults around. I hope my now ex-wife never finds this forum, because I'd have some explaining to do and you'd likely never hear from me again.

I hated those guineas so much that I used to get up an hour earlier on the off chance I could capture and throttle the scrawny-necked buggers, but since they never offered the opportunity, I spent that extra hour each morning looking under every log/clump of grass or what ever diabolically clever hiding place the guineas found to lay their eggs, strictly for the satisfaction of squashing them all beneath my vibram soles.

So... if you find that you are suddenly missing your newly acquired guinea hens, don't automatically blame animal predators, especially if you live in the same county that I do!

-- Tis I (really_tis_i@yahoo.com), February 26, 2002

Answers

Your story had me glued to the end. I guess you've help me firm my decision on Guineas.

Thanks,

-- Rudy (rbakker@wcrtc.net), February 26, 2002.

hilarious!

-- hmm (h.m.metheny@att.net), February 26, 2002.

Howdy,Well, I love my guineas-wouldn't be a homestead without them. They let me know when there is a problem,usually long before the dogs do. I've seen them kill rattle snakes and run foxes off before I can get to the shotgun. Let a hawk fly by and they warn the chickens before the hawk even gets close-pretty much feed themselves,mostly bugs in the gardens and keep the ticks and flys under control. And most important they taste like pheasant. Of course we live way out in the woods,I'm sure if we had people living close to us it might be a problem. I do gather up the babies and pen them up for a few weeks until they can fend for themselves(the hens aren't very good mothers). So I guess it's all in your point of view. :>) Daryll PS, Great story.

-- Daryll in NW FLA (twincrk@hotmail.com), February 26, 2002.

I gave up on guinea fowl and geese many years ago when I "wised" up!! Too noisy and too aggressive toward small children. I'll take ANY breed of chicken (banty or full-size) any day over them :-)!!!

-- Marcia (HrMr@webtv.net), February 26, 2002.

I enjoyed the story (and Daryll's counter-thought).

Whatever drove you two apart?

-- Rick in SW West Virginia (Rick_122@hotmail.com), February 26, 2002.

How funny! The guinea's on our farm are my favorite bird, I much prefer them over the chickens. They eat ticks and bugs, are super hardy, and my hubby and I smile every time they start making noise, we love to listen to them. The dogs can't ever catch them either.

-- CJ (cjtinkle@getgoin.net), February 27, 2002.

True, they are probably the noisiest birds alive, but they do earn their keep just by keeping the grasshoppers away from the garden. Wish I had a couple dozen more of them! Jan

-- Jan in CO (Janice12@aol.com), February 27, 2002.

ummm. Sounds almost like my hubby. When I first got my guineas, he'd run at them and really to get them hollaring. The other day his son was over asking why we hadn't gone crazy yet from those stupid guineas. My husband replied "Oh, were they making noise?"

-- R in Ga (rrebekah14@aol.com), February 27, 2002.

GUINEAS ARE NOT NOISY. THEY ARE OPINIONATED. There is a HUGE difference. They like me and I love them. They coo to me like pigeons coo. And keep predators off the chickens (when the guineas are not exerting their pecking order...) Sheesh! Next you'll be saying donkeys and geese are noisy. Not so. They can recognize intruders/enemies better than we can... :o>

-- Gailann Schrader (gtschrader@aol.com), February 28, 2002.

Okay, I know this is a slightly old thread, but I just noticed it and had to put in my two cents' worth. We had guineas when I was young, and they went to live with some neighbors after they plucked up all the onions my dad had just set out!;-)

One afternoon, we couldn't figure out what all the racket was - chicken, not guinea, sounded like it was being plucked alive. Daddy and I ran out to the chicken pen to find a young rooster running around the pen full speed, yelling loudly. A guinea was attached firmly to his tailfeathers (with its beak), had its wings out, and was floating along getting a free ride, putting a foot down about every six feet or so to "bounce" back up and gliding right along happily! Stupid birds!

-- Christine in OK (cljford@mmcable.com), March 18, 2002.