Fools, what is UP? I just did my Sweet 16 picks, and I think I might be crazy.

I have been so busy at work, I have missed MATH. Y'all report on your goings-on.

-- Anonymous, March 20, 2002

Answers

Well...

1.) I talked to her parents last night.

2.) I think it's a go for Friday.

So cross your fingers...

-- Anonymous, March 20, 2002

BERMAN.

Oh my GOD. I just got this rush of nervous excitement on your behalf.

Heeee! How wonderful. Come on, now. You have to tell us your grand plan, if you have one.

-- Anonymous, March 20, 2002

And can I also say, that I hope she recognizes the significance that you are proposing DURING March Madness, arguably, your most distracted time of year. This makes it true love indeed.

-- Anonymous, March 20, 2002

Well, I had three grand plans. Call them options a, b and c, if you will. Keep in mind that I'm pretty sure she knows something's afoot because, much like Hannah's friend's fiancee on 3WA, I left the receipt for the ring in my checkbook, and there's a pretty fair chance she at least saw the logo of the jewelry store.

Option A.) Do it tonight at dinner. Pros: It will be totally unexpected. Cons: It's also kind of random.

Option B.) (her cousin's suggestion) Do it this weekend in New York, when we're going to see her family. Pros: Can do it in Central Park on a carriage ride, which is the most romantic of the options. Cons: Getting her there will be tricky. Getting her there alone is well- nigh impossible. Plus, I'm not sure I want to do it with her family right there waiting patiently for the news.

Which leaves...

Option C. Friday.

We had our first date at dinner, with my brother and sister-in-law, at a restaraunt in Bethesda. I'm making reservations for two for Friday.

Sima is the type of person who usually invites a ton of people to everything ... she's very inclusive. I'm going to get around that in an ingenius fashion ... at Dan's suggestion, I'm saying that we talked last weekend at the NCAA games, that he's really bummed about what's happening with Andersen, that he paid for the NCAA tickets and wouldn't let me pay him back, so it would be nice if we took them out to dinner. Of course, when we get there it'll just be the two of us and I'm sure she'll suspect, but there you go.

And then ... I'll propose.

-- Anonymous, March 20, 2002

So, you're going with option c? I feel that any choice you make will be the right one, though how you can stand wait an entire two more days, I don't know.

So exciting! What if you get all crazy and HAVE to do it tonight?

Stay cool, Berman. Calm and collected. You will do great.

Are you going to kneel and everything? Because I would pay for a picture of that.

-- Anonymous, March 20, 2002

BERMAN! Oh, man. Yay!

I would go with option c, also. I think you'll be able to play it off just fine, and she will still be so excited!

-- Anonymous, March 20, 2002

You can even fake her out with a "last minute cell phone call" from Dan. He can call when you are practically there and be all "Stacy is sick and we can't come," and you can say "Oh, no! I hope she feels better," and then y'all will go to dinner anyway, since you're there and you already have reservations and she'll be totally fooled!

Lying is a great way to start your relationship! Hee! No, if it would surprise her more, it would be good.

-- Anonymous, March 20, 2002

Yeah, there will definitely be a last-minute phone call. That's an integral part of The Plan.

-- Anonymous, March 20, 2002

The Plan will work like a charm. So, the ring is in and everything? Are you like, carrying it around in your pocket?

-- Anonymous, March 20, 2002

No, it's at home, which makes me nervous as hell.

Dan had his ring for a couple of months before giving it. I have no idea how he did that. I'd go insane.

-- Anonymous, March 20, 2002

Well, what does it look like? And don't say "sparkly and round," or I'll stab you.

Come on, Berman. Some of us are still relegated to living vicariously through the pre-marital joy of others. Don't dissapoint us.

-- Anonymous, March 20, 2002

Sparkley and square.

-- Anonymous, March 20, 2002

Oh, fine. I'm sure it's a beauty. You are such a man.

-- Anonymous, March 20, 2002

See, I had guessed sparkly and round. I like square better, though, I think.

Tell us about the setting, Berman. We need to know.

-- Anonymous, March 20, 2002

Aluminum foil.

No, it's filigreed platinum. Very classy.

-- Anonymous, March 20, 2002

Hee. I would have preferred if you had tried to convince us that it really was aluminum foil.

So, filigreed platinum, princess cut (or emerald?)? Gorgeous. I wish you would propose to me.

-- Anonymous, March 20, 2002

Well, looks like Vince beat me to it, didn't he?

It's a princess cut.

-- Anonymous, March 20, 2002

Hey, you can never have too many proposals.

Just don't drop it in her drink or anything, especially if it's Stoli Vanil. You'll never get it back.

-- Anonymous, March 20, 2002

Filigried platinum and princess cut? Damn. Berman, you know who to call if she says no, right? Yeah. Meat of Who?

I agree with the no-ring-in-the-drink policy. Whoever came up with that was clazy. And nobody should ever drop anything but an ice cube in Stoli Vanil and coke.

Man, I hate the MOC. Y'all know I'll get that aluminum foil ring. (If even THAT.) And he'll be all, "I stuck the wad of gum here to simulate the pearl you liked..."

-- Anonymous, March 20, 2002

Well, I certainly hope he uses Doublemint or something white. If he used Hubba Bubba or some pink or purple gum, that would really be unattractive.

He could fashion the side diamonds from broken up rock candy. I think that would be lovely.

-- Anonymous, March 20, 2002

Al, now you KNOW he'd actuall stick a hunk of white american in there.

Berman! That is SO great. I am so so happy, excited and nervous for you!

-- Anonymous, March 20, 2002