Well, you know mine. I often make false references to literature I have actually read. I do this with confidence, a certain jauntiness, even, mixing up details of stories and books with ease.

I don't mean to do it at all, but now it's becoming something I'm known for.

What do you, or your friends and loved ones do that causes everyone to snicker and roll their eyes and say "There she goes again!"

-- Anonymous, March 20, 2002

Answers

Since I've had my car (all of one week) I have left my wallet (with $200 cash) on the front seat while browsing at Ikea. I have left the door unlocked overnight. I got a ticket for forgetting to feed a meter within THE FIRST HOUR I had it.

I'm clearly too stupid to be a car owner, but clearly also smiled on by someone.

-- Anonymous, March 20, 2002

I fall down a lot. And sometimes I'm not even drunk.

Does that count?

-- Anonymous, March 20, 2002

My husband is known for hilariously mispronouncing several words. When my grandmother wants to get off the phone with you, even if you're in the middle of a sentence she'll say, "Well, good-bye" and hang up. My mother is known for going off on so many tangents while she's telling a story, she forgets her original point.

I'm known for saying whatever comes off the top of my head, and deeply offending people or coming off really hateful when I never had that intention at all. Nobody thinks it's cool, though, least of all me. I try to work very hard at not doing that but I still do, sometimes.

So don't be offended, guys.

-- Anonymous, March 20, 2002

Inappropriate laughter. I am the queen of giggling my ass off at something in which no one else sees the humor.

-- Anonymous, March 20, 2002

I do the falling down thing, too! just this past friday I tripped over my pants and fell face forward onto the ground in a heap cause I couldn't get my toe out of the lacy bit on my pants ...mom said it felt like an earthquake ..good lord!

I also tend to mispronounce things like my big blunder on the word 'ramen' ...I've been saying it 'ray men' which is supposedly sacreligious or somethin' ...I just did not know. I wasn't taught well I s'pose

also, is telling TMI a thing to be known for? I seem to always tell more than I really should about any certain subject even when it's gross and/or I don't know what I'm talking about. I just must go on and on and on....

dad's always known for asking whoever (even a sales clerk) if they'd like to golf sometime.

grandma's known for always bringing up food and sayin' "IIII hunnnngrrryyy"

-- Anonymous, March 20, 2002

Al, I have weird email issues at work right now. But in Little Women when Jo sneaks out to take her story to the publisher the office is above a dentist's office which has a big tooth sign. Laurie sees her leaving, thinks she had dental work done, and a hilarious mix-up converstaion ensues. (Well, hilarious at the time I'm sure.) Though this may not be the reference you are looking for.

There was also the giant eyeglasses sign outside the garage where Daisy's husband's mistress lived and she got treated like shit because she was just the poor slutty mistress instead of the crazy rich wife. (Note: At least it was like that in the movie. I've never read Gatsby but I've seen the movie 10 times at least.) Maybe it was a big optomitrist sign?

-- Anonymous, March 21, 2002

I read Gatsby. It's big eyeglasses just like in the movie. No big teeth though. I don't remember that from Little Women, either, but it's been more than 15 years since I read LW.

-- Anonymous, March 21, 2002

Slickery, I thought it was Gatsby and the T. J. Eckleburg sign too. (That sign is in the book. In fact, there are literary scholars who will tell you that the sign IS the book.) But I am fairly certain that Al was actually referring to McTeague, where the principal character is a dentist whose rich wife gives him a big tooth sign as a present.

I'm known for saying whatever comes off the top of my head, and deeply offending people or coming off really hateful when I never had that intention at all. Nobody thinks it's cool, though, least of all me. I try to work very hard at not doing that but I still do, sometimes.

Umm, that would be me, too.

The thing I do most, and that I dislike most in myself, is procrastinate.

-- Anonymous, March 21, 2002

But I am fairly certain that Al was actually referring to McTeague, where the principal character is a dentist whose rich wife gives him a big tooth sign as a present.

Lots of people suggested I was confusing it with Gatsby. But it was, in fact, McTeague.

I am the shame of all my literary friends, let me tell you.

-- Anonymous, March 21, 2002

I am the Queen of the Scheme. Conversation begins something like this, every time:

"Hey, AB! I had this awesome idea for your small home-office business so Chao Famiry can get rich!"

"Gramm! Listen to this... I think the start-up costs would be less than $1000, and the ROI would be at least six times that in the first year..."

"Y'all. I had the most rockin' idea for a party... it would only be $175 per person to do it right..."

And I also think the idea through, soup to nuts, and get everybody all interested in how we are going to get rich / be the best hostesses ever / win fame and popularity and a cover on EW. And then abandon it two hours later.

It's entertaining to say the least, but not terribly productive. The words from me "I had this great idea" are sure to elicit eye rolls from those nearest and dearest.

-- Anonymous, March 21, 2002

I say inappropriate things around my family just for shock value. I have been known to try to get my 86-year-old Granny to flip off the people in the next car. However, I haven't seen any of them in over 2 years, so hopefully I'll be cured when I finally do see them again.

-- Anonymous, March 21, 2002

That stupid thing I do??

Well, for some reason I get overly nice to someone who is horrid to me. It's not just a "I'll be the bigger person and have an attitude of civility" thing, it's a I'll go out of my way, even if it compromises my principals thing.

I don't do this with anyone else. Normally I just tell someone to "fuck off" if they don't like me and I don't like them. But in this instance, it's someone I am absolutely forced to deal with and then I end up feeling sorry for her and go out of my way to be extra nice and make things extra easy on her.

Weird, huh?

-- Anonymous, March 21, 2002