Dear Ann Sanders,

Things are looking up. The house is being remodeled, the car is paid off, and the flowers are coming up early.

Should we adopt about seven more kids? Ten? Should we try to get a 15 passenger van, or a mini school bus?

Or should we look into mood-altering drugs and wait until this urge is gone?

I am tortured by dreams of finding sibling groups on my doorstep. I'm always happy to see them, willing to keep them, and then I wake up.

Is this menopause? Senility?

-- helen (over@the.hill), March 20, 2002

Answers

Helen, dear, you need a vacation in the worst way! ; )

-- Pammy (pamela_sue57@hotmail.com), March 20, 2002.

Pammy, can I come to your house and not take you to the potty in the middle of the night and not cut up your food for you and not...

As of right now, I've identified thirteen kids (possibly one more) that could be added to our family in a matter of months. Has anyone else experienced this type of ... unusual ... behavior due to menopause? This is menopause, isn't it? Isn't it??

-- helen (pausing@at.the.golden.hour.of.life.before.the.decline), March 20, 2002.

Helen:

I don't think that it's menopause. For some of us, menopause means never having to think of more kids ever again. Senility works for ME, but only if it works for YOU.

-- Anita (Anita_S3@hotmail.com), March 21, 2002.

Helen, come on over and I'll take you to Cancun or Hawaii. You need to see how other grown-ups play. : )

-- Pammy (pamela_sue57@hotmail.com), March 21, 2002.

Helen, you need some grandchildren, where you can pick them up, cuddle, and then give them back.

Pammy, if helen doesn't want Cancun or Hawaii, I'll take it. :D

-- Maria (anon@ymous.com), March 21, 2002.

Pammy some grown-ups also work. Guess we weren't all born princesses ;)

-- (just@an.observation), March 21, 2002.

Pammy,

Ignore the jealous one. Back off Maria, you already got your dream Mountain retreat, it's my turn. Cancun, soon, please?

-- Jack Booted Thug (governmentconspiracy@NWO.com), March 21, 2002.

I've done my share of working, part of which included working for a major airline. (I can still get some great fares.)

Come on JBT and Maria, we can all go. : )

-- Pammy (pamela_sue57@hotmail.com), March 21, 2002.

A Gathering in Cancun???

-- helen (looking@for.a.sitter), March 21, 2002.

We're working on it Helen, but no husbands, mules or goats allowed. Well, maybe the goat if you have proof of a long term committed relationship.

Wait, the goat thing belongs on another thread. I'll stick with the first set of rules.

-- Jack Booted Thug (governmentconspiracy@NWO.com), March 21, 2002.

Why don't you just stuff all 13 kids in the back of a Yugo and drive them all the way to Disney World if thats the way you really feel about kids?

-- bimi thanton (bimit@lillyrock.com), March 22, 2002.

Not take the mule? He's got his floaties. He's packed his sunscreen. He's applied for a credit card. You tell the mule he can't go.

(Bimi ... flow with it...)

-- helen (relax@close.yer.eyes), March 22, 2002.

Mike Mule can go, but I'm not paying for his ticket. (I think he'd be miffed to find he's considered cargo.) ; )

-- Pammy (pamela_sue57@hotmail.com), March 22, 2002.

Wellllllllll, as long as he has his own credit card and will take of the bar tab, I guess he can come.

-- Jack Booted Thug (governmentconspiracy@NWO.com), March 22, 2002.

JBT, you're too easy! ; )

-- Pammy (pamela_sue57@hotmail.com), March 22, 2002.

What do you mean easy? You do notice that the rule about no husbands has not even drawn a response. You have to establish priorities and negotiate the rest.

-- Jack Booted Thug (governmentconspiracy@NWO.com), March 22, 2002.

JBT -- are you a husband?

-- helen (hmmm@questions.to.ask), March 23, 2002.

I suppose that would depend on your definition of husband and who you asked your question to.

-- Jack Booted Thug (governmentconspiracy@NWO.com), March 23, 2002.

Would your wife characterize you as a husband?

-- helen (trouble@in.cancun.paradise), March 23, 2002.

Drum roll.........

-- (cin@cin.cin), March 24, 2002.

Probably not.

-- Jack Booted Thug (governmentconspiracy@NWO.com), March 24, 2002.

That's ok JBT, you can still come. : )

-- Pammy (pamela_sue57@hotmail.com), March 24, 2002.

With us, maybe, but probably not with his wife if she ever reads this...

-- helen (dying@anyway.parting.shot), March 24, 2002.