Anybody else watching? Why didn't Tom Cruise take his braces off? and where were the makeup artists for that nasty shine on his forehead? Come on, I know you people want to dish...

-- Anonymous, March 24, 2002

Answers

I only watched for a little while, just enough to see (Greasy) Reese Witherspoon make a joke about actors having tiny heads and noticing that her head is getting smaller and smaller as her big vapid eyes grow larger and larger.

Has anyone seen Monster's Ball? I'd never even heard of it before it started getting nominated for awards.

-- Anonymous, March 25, 2002

monster's ball was depressing, but quite good.

baz (the director of moulin rouge) looked like phil hartman playing andy warhol.

peter jackson (director - lord of the rings) looks like hank the angry drunken dwarf.

didn't sharon stone used to be famous?

julia roberts dry-humping denzel was not fun.

whoopi goldberg should leave the "honeys", "babies", and "childs" at home for oscar night.

texas' own owen wilson's bit with ben stiller was greatness.

-- Anonymous, March 25, 2002

Gwyneth's dress was deeply hideous, what with the ruching, the sheerness, the sagging, etc. I was rolling on the floor. Actually, that fashion misstep reduced my overall dislike for The Gwyn. At least she can be entertaining.

-- Anonymous, March 25, 2002

I didn't watch the show but I did see some red carpet coverage. Kate Winslet looked AWESOME. Halle Berry simply can't look bad but I've liked other dresses she's worn better. Poor Jennifer Connelly looked so beautiful at the SAG awards, but last night she looked like a stick figure propped up in a heap of prison laundry doing a Red Baron impression, with the scarf and all. Did not need to see Gwyneth's strangely white nipples. Cameron Diaz looked like pure shit. Uma Thurman -- OBVIOUSLY nursing. Renee Zellweger looked like she'd doused herself with canola oil right before the show. Helen Mirren looked gorgeous. See, Sissy Spacek? Just because you're of a certain age doesn't mean you have to dress like a Keystone Kop fer chrissakes. JLo's dress was pretty but her hair was hilarious, Dolly Parton circa 1968. Nicole Kidman looked like Pretty in Pink Barbie.

-- Anonymous, March 25, 2002

Huh. I didn't see Tom Cruise and I watched most of it.

Gwyneth's dress. You said it all, Melanie.

I loved Halle Berry's (sp?) dress and Jennifer Lopez's. Cameron Diaz's hair was hideous. And the actress who played Bridget Jones - I'm COMPLETELY blanking on her name - she had some nasty shine going on too.

The attempts at humor where better too. Cameron Diaz's speech was pretty funny!

Where's the grammar thread when you need it? How does one indicate the possesive when the surname ends with a 'z'?

-- Anonymous, March 25, 2002

J. Lo's hair was a big big no.

Gwyneth's dress made me want to weep.

So did Jennifer Connolly's.

Halle Barry's hysterics made me feel all warm and cuddly inside.

That bad joke Whoopi made was wonderful. (re: the audience member screaming out.)

-- Anonymous, March 25, 2002

What about Gwyneth's HAIR??? I think I did that to my hair at a slumber party in third grade.

I thought Cameron's dress was great, but her hair was awful. And poor Jennifer Connelly- she's so pretty and yet she looked so bad. The boy thought she's gotten too skinny.

I loved Halle Berry.

-- Anonymous, March 25, 2002

Oh, yeah. And how high was Sharon Stone?

-- Anonymous, March 25, 2002

This is only tangentially Oscar-related but what the heck - I've seen a couple of mentions that Tom Cruise has braces now, but I saw part of the Barbara Walters interview with him and didn't see any. Does he have the new "invisible" braces? And what happens when he wants to make another movie? Braces stay on for years! Ooooh, and what if he needs headgear? Now, that's an image to keep you up at night.

-- Anonymous, March 25, 2002

I read that he does not have the new 'invisible braces', but just has really tiny tooth-colored ones. He said he will remove them for doing movies.

His braces don't bother me, but his halting speech and unshaven face made me hurt all over for Nicole. I wonder if she's wondering how she did it all those years.

-- Anonymous, March 25, 2002

The article I read about Tom Cruise getting braces made me laugh, since it was apparently his kids' dentist who told Tom he needed them, and he was nervous to point it out, since really, who wants to tell Tom Cruise there is something wrong with his smile?

I also kind of loved the Errol Morris people talking about movies clips- both the montage and the precommercial ones. Although someone apparently told poor Drew Barrymore it was 1983.

-- Anonymous, March 25, 2002

How high was Sharon Stone?

High enough to think people still care. And that's pretty high, Hannah. That's like, Whitney Houston high. What in the hell were she and John Travolting giggling about? The fact that her husband has no toes?

-- Anonymous, March 25, 2002

I thought Whoopi's Komodo dragon joke was funny. And the joke about cleaning up afterwords was funny, too, but in the kind of way you're embarassed to be laughing about it in mixed company. Or maybe I'm just a prude.

Russell Crowe could have redeemed himself, in my eyes, by making a joke about beating that guy up. Heck, by making a joke, period. That man is a robot, y'all.

-- Anonymous, March 25, 2002

My favorite moment was when Tom Cruise was giving his very solemn speech at the beginning and he said that the first movie that clued him into the magic of film was 2001, which he saw when he was six.

You could hear chuckling in the audience, because he had to be joking. Then they realized he was serious. You could almost hear the whispering in the audience, "Is Tom Cruise trying to tell us that he, Tom Cruise, understood and/or liked 2001, one of the most obtuse films of all time, at the age of SIX? C'mon! He's GOT to be kidding."

-- Anonymous, March 25, 2002

I actually thought Uma looked gorgeous. She was all glowy. And I thought Halle looked gorgeous, of course. But Gywn. Good LORD that was awful.

-- Anonymous, March 25, 2002

Poor, poor Partner cannot understand the Nipple Mania that has taken over movies and TV. At least once a night I hear, "Man, someone should have told her to put on a bra before going before the camera." Jennifer Anniston is a huge offender, as her constant beaming nipples practically obscure the rest of the show for him.

But last night, I thought he was going to seize when he saw Gwyneth. Could not stop remarking on how awful she looked, how weird her boobs looked.

-- Anonymous, March 25, 2002

When I see something that, at least IMO, looks hideous I always wonder - did the actress really mean to look that bad? Were they trying to be "different" and make a statement? Is it just bad taste? Did they succumb to the "oh, it's by a famous designer it must be good" idea? Do they have mean friends who convince them that the dress is to die for and everyone will love it, then snicker backstage? Don't most of these people have professional stylists? Or maybe it really is just bad taste...

-- Anonymous, March 25, 2002

I was thinking about Halle Berry's history-making Oscar and I realized I couldn't think of any Asian-American or Hispanic-American actors/actresses who've won a best or supporting Oscar. I'm not a trivia buff by any means, but I was wondering if any of you know?

-- Anonymous, March 26, 2002

I'm not quite sure about why Halle Berry (and everyone else)got so excited about making history and/or her own self-importance.

When you think about it, how is this a great moment for African Americans when all that happened is that an overwhelming white organization decided to give her an award?

It is nice that the academy recognized her talent and did not intentionally overlook her because she is black, but how can this event open doors for black actresses, when blacks have an even smaller presence behind the camera, where casting decisions get made, then in front of it.

Can't it also be argued that Hattie McDaniels Best Supporting Actress Oscar had much more meaning then Berry's, given when it was awarded?

-- Anonymous, March 26, 2002

See, Chris, I thought the exact same thing (re: Hattie McDaniel). And while I'm sure that Halle's tears were heartfelt, I doubt that her emotion could have compared to the sincerity of Hattie's. For heaven's sake, it was a controversy to even have Hattie there at the dinner - I can't imagine the joy that she felt when she won her truly groundbreaking Oscar.

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2002

Good question, Kay. Benicio del Toro (yum) won last year, and I want to say that Edward James Olmos has been nominated once (for Stand and Deliver). Maybe I'm making that up.

Asian-American: hmmm.

(Pause.)

Hmmmmmmmmmm.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Joan Chen? Whoever it was in The World of Suzie Wong? I'm not sure.

(Can I take this moment to register my displeasure that Rick Yune is dating Miss Old Navy Capri Shiller Lisa Ling? I mean, there's nothing wrong with Old Navy, as several people have discovered, but she is one annyoing woman. And he is . . . well.)

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2002

Asian-American I don't know but Asian-Asian - didn't one of the female stars of Crouching Tiger get nominated?

Speaking of nipples, am I the only one who saw just one Sandra Bullock nipple through that lace?

I thought Nicole Kidman looked awful. She's far too pale for that dress, she looked like a corpse.

Also, Resse asking Ryan if she could read the winner in that very married couple way? Awwww.

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2002

One thing I will say, is that this Oscar did more for Halle Berry's career than it would have for any of the white actresses nominated. I have a professor who has been trying to get a script to her forever, and his agent kept saying no, no, she's not right.. until she was nominated. Then, suddenly, she was perfect for it. I guarantee you he wouldn't have hesitated to send it to Renee Zellweger, even before the nomination.

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2002

Rita Moreno won a best-supporting for West Side Story.

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2002

Okay, I don't know about nominees, but in terms of Asian-American winners:

Haing S. Ngor (who later died tragically) won Best Supporting Actor in 1984 for The Killing Fields.

Miyoshi Umeki won Best Supporting Actress in 1957 for Sayonara.

For what it's worth, I also looked at Best Foreign Language Film, and CTHD was apparently the film Asian film to win since 1955 (Rashomon, The Legend of Musashi and Samurai won in 1951, '54, and '55, respectively).

Hmmph. More out of curiosity, I then went back into the Cannes archives to see how Asian films had done in the Palme d'Or competition. Shohei Imamura won in '97, Farewell My Concubine tied with The Piano in '94, a film I've never heard of won the Grand Prize in '89, To Live won the grand jury prize in '94, Shanghai Triad won the technical grand prize in '95, and another film I haven't heard of won the grand prize in '00.

So I think the moral of the story is, Asian films get better recognition in Europe. I think they do even better at the Berlin film festival than in Cannes. But I don't know about Asian actors.

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2002