Dusty came to live with us because my husband said "a woman with four teen-agers needs someone to love her unconditionally and not talk back." I tried to tell him that I thought the pup was cute but really didn't want to tackle potty training AGAIN. To no avail...

Potty training is long past but now the wanderlust has bitten my dog. His last trip to the pound cost me $36. No telling how many she dogs he 'visited' while he was free. All I know is he slept the rest of the day after being sprung from the pound. (Was that a smile under his little mustache?)

Saturday he took off again. We loaded up in the truck and started circling the blocks. Then we saw what looked like a guy jogging with his dog. On closer inspection we realized that he was chasing MY dog down the street trying to catch him. (Evidently Dusty remembered how inhospitable the pound was and wasn't about to go there again.) Turns out the guy had chased Dusty for about 3/4 of a mile before we found him. This time both the dog and the guy had their tongues hangin out from fatigue!

My question is...if we have Dusty fixed so he's an it instead of a he will he/it stay home?! I'm putting lots of miles on my truck and I'm afraid we will be hit by quite a few doggie paternity suits anyday now so something's gotta be done!

PS I've been lurking...and enjoying the writing...and missing ya'll.

-- Linda Mc (jmcintyre1@mmcable.com), May 28, 2002

Answers

Dusty may not stay home. Our spayed female wanders.

-- helen (keep@em.in.front.of.the.teevee), May 29, 2002.

Does Dusty happen to be a Beagle? If so, nothing you can do will stop the 'adventures'. Probably a good idea to get him fixed though... Doggie paternity suits can get expensive. ;-)

(And just consider all the trouble Lon is having getting rid of the pupwursts. Four teenagers and 101 puppies? What a scary thought!!!)

-- Gayla (privacy@please.com), May 29, 2002.

Linda Mac! It's good to have you back! Linda Mac! It's good to have you back!

(Everbody, now,) Linda Mac.........................

OK, OK, just a little unbridled enthusiam. It's my night to wear the chearleader costume, and I just let it go to my head.

And Linda, there is this little thing about 6 UGLY puppies down on the bayou. Dusty doesn't happen to have webbed toes, now does he?

-- Lon Frank (lgal@exp.net), May 29, 2002.

Lon: While Dusty does swim in the pool (under duress, I might add) he does not have webbed toes. He is a poodle not a beagle and is definitely not ugly, nor does he look like a sausage. So don't try to blame your pupwursts on my doggie.

PS I hope you're wearing the male version of the cheerleader outfit and not the girlie one...Lon in a short skirt...I shudder to think!

PPS Hi Helen and Gayla!

-- Linda Mc (jmcintyre1@mmcable.com), May 29, 2002.

Linda, you're off the hook, or at least Dusty is. The scientists down at BIT (Bayou Institute of Technology) determined that the pupwursrts were actually pure bred. As educated as I obviously am, (four years without hardly ever playing hookey) (much), I had never heard of Possumgator Terriers.

But now that I have built up the nerve to look at their little faces, I certainly have to admit that they seem to look like that breed. The good news is, now that I know they are genuine, I'm gonna start asking 2 bucks apiece for 'em. All's I can say is you and Gayla better send your money quick, 'cause they're gonna go fast now!

And as to the cheerleader costume. ......Well,............well, ...er,........ROBERT'S GOT A TUTU!

-- Lon Frank (lgal@exp.net), May 30, 2002.

Oh, yeah, about getting the pooch fixed -

I don't know just how it works on dogs, but the missus threatened to have me fixed once (actually she said she'd do it herself), and it shore stopped me from sneakin' down to Davie Duveleaux's Pool Emporium And Social Club. Except of course, for the Grand Bayou Cotillion and Decadent Debutant Debut (who could miss THAT?!)

-- Lon Frank (lgal@exp.net), May 30, 2002.

I had to laugh at myself when I looked back at this thread. It says right in the title that Dusty is a POODLE! DUH! LOL

Lon, I never realized life on the bayou was full of so many classy social gatherings. ;-)

-- Gayla (privacy@please.com), May 30, 2002.

Hello Linda, just a quick suggestion for you. If Dusty is only getting out to search for female company, then getting him desexed may well help. However, if he truly has the wanderlust, then you might be wasting your money. It might pay to take note whether he heads straight for a female in season, or if he just has a nice stroll around the neighbourhood. Goodluck.

-- Carol (carfred@hotmail.com), May 30, 2002.

Hi, Linda! It gets a little hard to lurk here sometimes... like when nobody posts for weeks on end, and then you can't get in on Greenspun :-(

I think your best bet would be a discussion with a vet about "fixing Dusty", although the vets here would always recommend a fix. They don't like having to kill all the poor pups that don't get adopted. Maybe we could persuade Lon that having more and cuter puppies is the way to get rid of the pupwursts, you know, by getting people to come look at the cute poodles, then insisting that the pups have bonded and that each poodle now requires the presence of a pupwurst in order to survive...

-- Tricia th Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.net), May 30, 2002.

Just a note before I drop off the face of the FRL earth again...

Dusty, the wanderlusting poodle, is still intact (if you follow my meaning) and has gotten lost again. This time for 3 days during which time I alternately lamented and rejoiced at his being gone. Lamented because I missed his absolute delight at my being his Mistress and the warmth of his tiny body on my feet at night. Rejoicing because I didn't have to worry about cleaning his feet off every morning after his bathroom run in the dewy back yard and whether he was going to bring fleas into the house to bite my delicate (and delicious to fleas, I might add) ankles.

After calling every veteranarian/pet hospital/pound/animal sanctuary in town and driving miles and miles, we finally got a call from a woman who had found him the very afternoon that he had run off. She had even posted signs (evidently the only place that we didn't look) and was beginning to get attached to the little critter when she got our number from one of the vet clinics.

Anyway, Dusty's back and watched more closely than ever. He had the nerve to miss the 'other woman'! She must have fed him people food because he took to begging shamelessly for a few days before he gave up. And me, I'm savin' up my $ for a little doggie trip to the vet and keepin' my eyes open for little Dusty look-alikes in the neighborhood!

Take care, all!

-- LindaMc (jmcintyre1@cox.net), July 01, 2002.

"... before I drop off the face of the FRL earth again... "

I hereby move that Linda be shackled to the pupwurst factory on Lon's back porch until she gives up dropping out. By golly, dropping out promotes deliquency, poverty, and other unhappy words ending in y, and it should be stamped out forthwith and with forth if nethetharry.

-- helen (down@with.words.ending.in.y), July 02, 2002.