Hi all

Im trying to think of a response to another thread elsewhere on greenspun and would appreciate any words of advice you could give me from a Catholic point of view. She began by asking:

IS ANYONE ELSE A RECLUSE? im not talking about an anxiety disorder where you don't want to leave the house due to fear i mean a real recluse who just wants to stay home away from the world i only go out for work to the bank and for food i keep my curtains closed i don't answer the door i don't answer the phone unless somebody on the answering machine says they really need me for something i do all my shopping on the internet i have no friends no boyfriend no sex am i the only one like this?

-- jean (gothicblue@nukleopatra.zzn.com), June 01, 2002

I responded along the lines that that’s just not healthy and I could be a friend for her if she ever needed one, but she appears quite happy being a recluse…

First i am not going to decide not to be a recluse anymore I am a recluse always have been. I don't want to be around people because I have nothing in common with the everyday person they babble on about things I can not relate to and of course they can not relate to me when I talk about things I like they say OH then just sort of walk away and look back at me in horror. Could you be my friend I only go out on cloudy rainy or foggy days the rain feels so good almost like a cleansing and the beauty of the greyness that the fog puts on everything is breath taking and the sun makes me quite ill I wear dark clothing only I hate colors I dye my hair black(i love everything black) black eye make-up nails I'm only attracted to transvestite males and forget that bbq I hate meat the look and smell of it and if I see someone eating meat well to me it looks evil. I like the look of gothic that is what you will see at my house and it makes me laugh to see people go about their lives like they are really getting somewhere in life because they don't realize that they are the walking dead each day that we live is one day closer to our death we are going nowhere but in the ground so I don't want to hear about your garden and your parties, camping, ball games etc. you bore me I'm much deeper than that and you can't and won't handle it. So be it and be on your way I am not for this world and it is not for me and yes I believe in God and the after life and pray for forgiveness that Im not doing my part on this earth for God for I can not relate to the people on this earth and do know that its only temporary I will die and the next chapter will begin.

-- jean (gothicblue@nukleopatra.zzn.com), June 02, 2002. Any advice for me to respond with?, anything from the scriptures on being socialable and helpful etc. Thanks Courtenay ps And you thought “our” Jean was trouble!

-- kiwi (csisherwood@hotmail.com), June 03, 2002

Answers

Kiwi - the world of Goth and Gor is a very seperate one indeed. Most Goth women are highly intelligent and seemingly are just not interested in the everyday things.

Goth is also a profound statement in which the emotional colours of the world are too painful to either accept or become involved with. Gor on the otherhand is a manner of living life as either a pain giver or pain receiver.

Both could be viewed as a denial of human interaction at an accepted level. I had read on the seven demons that are able to take over a human being. These would need an exorcist to bannish. Let us see what others say on this.

-- Jean Bouchard (jeanb@cwk.imag.net), June 03, 2002.

Jean,

Thank you for that insightful one-liner on the difference between Goth and the previously unmentioned Gor, it was probably very useful to somebody.

Kiwi,

To some extent she's right, regardless of how one fills their life things will eventually grind down and we will die. The trouble is she's missing out on her life by only looking at the end. You could try two things, showing her that life is beautiful, and to take advantage of the moment without worrying about the end , or try to show her that how we live our lives will determine our "next" life either in Heaven or Hell. Personally, I'd think that with a good family this is something she'd just grow out of, but who knows, you might be the closest thing to family she's got. But don't ask me, counselling was never my strong suit.

Frank

-- Someone (ChimingIn@twocents.cam), June 03, 2002.

thanks Frank

-- kiwi (csisherwood@hotmail.com), June 03, 2002.

Pointing out the beautiful things in life is something you never do when talking with a someone who's hit by depression. Ever. You try to understand the person, ask her/him to explain... there's nothing wrong about admitting you don't understand someone. In your context, Kiwi, you could try to point out that others find sunny days as beautiful as she (is the person female?) finds the typical London summer day.

And point out that whatever happens, you are there to listen!

-- -- (unknown@a.nonymous), June 03, 2002.

Hi Kiwi:

I think this would be a good time to pray and FAST for this woman if you really have a burden for her. Perhaps you have a prayer friend that you could pray with. This woman is under a dark cloud of depression and it could very well be brought on by Satanic forces if she is into Goth (the celebration of darkness). Pray St. Patrick's Breastplate prayer over her -- bind her to Christ! Intercede for her and ask our friends in heaven to do the same. Then, just love her!

God Bless

-- Gail (Rothfarms@socket.net), June 03, 2002.

To all and to nobody,

"LIFE" is nothing more than a road without an end. You say we will all die, but in fact you will live on. Death is only a time of rest before we are awaken by the Creator. Then the Creator will decide, upon the "LIFE" he gave you, that if you will continue on or be put to an end. "DEATH" is only the beginning of "TRUE LIFE." You enjoy dark clothes and a cloudy day, where as the sun burns deeply of hot cursed pain in you chest to where your heart pounds with fear. Satanic?? How can that be?? God created "LIGHT" upon the darkness that had existed on the world before it was created. He could of destroyed the darkness but instead he made it beautiful by placing small lights to see what darkness is really made of. Where is the fear of "DARKNESS?" It is in yourself of misunderstanding something that we do not know. Once someone has an understanding of something the fear that was present, has vanished. Embrace and understand what you have for if you place yourself in the beginning or at the end, in which neither do exist, your just fooling yourself because the present is where you are already in and God knows all.

-- (lakilaki@netzero.net), June 03, 2002.

Frank - I am in total agreement with you as to approachng someone with severe depression as this peron may have. Kiwi - Would it be possible to have this woman visit a good understanding doctor and look at Rx Zoloft for seratonin balancing?

-- Jean Bouchard (jeanb@cwk.imag.net), June 03, 2002.