Since my best friend is marrying my brother, naturally I was asked to be their maid-of-honor. This is her 2nd wedding and his 1st. They already live together and therefore have a lot of what they would normally need. How do I manage to give her a unique, classy bridal shower at which she receives things they will use and/or enjoy? I have pondered themes, but haven't found an appropriate one and I don't want this to be the typical boring shower. I'd like for it to be enjoyed by all who attend. Is this even a distinct possibility? Please help!

-- Anonymous, June 06, 2002

Answers

I've always enjoyed couples showers more than showers "for girls only". Maybe it's that it's generally more casual and interesting and feels more like a big cocktail or dinner party. But that's me. I have always thought that if I ever have a friend in the same boat as your brother and your friend...couples who may be a bit older or have lots of household things already...that I'd love to throw a couples media shower. Everyone could bring music or books, or DVDs or videos...you could expand it into media storage pieces or even a bottle of wine and some glasses for the couple to enjoy while listening to all their new music.

It would be different and very fun, I think.

-- Anonymous, June 06, 2002

Second weddings don't get showered. Problem solved! But you could, because you love them, through them a nice party.

-- Anonymous, June 06, 2002

Well, according to Emily Post on Second Weddings, it is perfectly acceptable to give a shower for a second time bride. I understood that it was a second time, so that is why I wanted to make it a little different. She is not the blushing bride she was the first time around. Also, this is my brother's first marriage and I don't feel that he should be robbed of all of the prewedding festivities simply because his fiance had a previous marriage.

I like the idea of a couple's shower. Something that they both can participate it, less "girly" and more FUN! :-)

-- Anonymous, June 07, 2002

I believe someone gave T a couple's shower, so she may be able to weigh in on how one goes, who gets invited and what goes on.

My uncle gave the MOC and I an engagement party, and it was great fun. Very casual - cookout, beer - it was fun.

-- Anonymous, June 07, 2002

Missy - I second the idea of a co-ed (please don't say couples as it makes all the single people feel excluded) shower. Maybe you and the Best Man can get together and throw them a Stock the Bar party, or a media shower, as Catherine suggested.

-- Anonymous, June 07, 2002

Oooo...good call on the "co-ed" vs. "couples" terminology. And I think a Stock the Bar party is a fantastic idea. I threw a co-ed shower for a friend of mine a couple of summers ago and it was a blast. We had about 40 people and I rented tables and chairs, set them up in the back yard and grilled some basalmic chicken. So it was dinner and gifts for the earlier part of the evening, and then drinks a-plenty later and people ended up staying until about midnight so I think everyone had a good time.

Another fun idea for a "girls only" shower is at a paint-your-own- pottery place. In Columbus, there's a pottery place you can rent very inexpensively for private parties. We went in the late afternoon for a bachelorette party, the bride picked out pieces and we all painted them for her. They usually let you bring in your own food and alcohol and our little party was a lot of fun. A lot of times those kind of places are in quaint type neighborhoods, and after you're donw painting people can wander out for drinks and keep the party going.

-- Anonymous, June 07, 2002

I love attending and throwing bar showers -- it sounds like it would be perfect for Missy's situation. There are always oodles of fun papers with "cocktail" themes that you can use for invites. The only problem I've ever experienced is with the odd tackmeister who wants to break into the actual gift bottles right there at the party. And also, the men sans dates seem to tend to stop by the package store literally on the way to the party, so a few brown paper sacks end up on the gift table.

But, those are easily handled, and don't mar what can be a really fun time.

-- Anonymous, June 07, 2002

"I second the idea of a co-ed (please don't say couples as it makes all the single people feel excluded) shower."

Thanks for addressing this, Hannah. I was wondering about that, as my brother has tons of single friends. Co-ed is the perfect term!

Thanks for the ideas, people! I was really lost on this one. The combination of trying to please a lot of different people, plus being overloaded with wedding duties was getting me down. I definately want whatever I throw to be a success and with your ideas, I suspect it will be.

-- Anonymous, June 07, 2002