I am wondering if some one can help me.I own a house with my exgirlfriend we splitup 3 months ago she moved out we bought the house about 2 years ago and have a 50% repayment 50% endownment morgage.I have always payed the morgage and any bills in the house old, she is now on social. We r not married but have a 3 year old kid and our only tie is the house,she not arsed about getting the house swapped into my name or even selling it. i have talked to a solicitor about selling the house he says she knock it back and i have to apply for division of sale which can take time and cost only me money in solicitor fees i was told maybe years depending on how funny she is>She very funny so i expect the worst She keeps threatening me with breaking down the house door and clearing me out and by law she can do this. Im living in fear so getting on with my life so this leads me to why i need some advise, i feel that the only way out is to stop paying the morgage repossion, this would mean she would be liable as well as me, but also means i would be in a lot of debt. If i was to move out of the country and go aboard would i be able to get finance in a foreign country i.e another morgage or loan or would i be black listed for life???? and never be able to get a house again? anywere in the EU?????

-- anomous (liketostayanomous@hotmail.com), June 08, 2002

Answers

Your ex-girlfriend is entitled to at least a half share in any equity in the house, and she may get more because she has your child whom you are obliged to support. Should you allow the house to be repossessed you will still be liable to not only the Lender for any shortfall but also your ex by way of child support for your child. Frankly this is a no-brainer; either pay up for a division of sale or let your child have it's home to live in until you two can agree amicably how the sale should go.

-- Too scared to say (iwasduped@yahoo.com), June 08, 2002.

When you bought the property with your girlfriend did you agree to each hold an equal share? If it was agreed beforehand that it was just you that would pay the mortgage, then there should have been some sort of agreement signed at the time of purchase which states that there are unequal shares in the property. If this wasn't done then it is assumed that each party is entitled to half.

It is my understanding that when a property is jointly owned each joint owner can insist on a sale. A court will always order a sale unless there is some agreement to the contrary. So if you want to stay in the house, then its vital that you come to some sort of agreement.

You could in theory, claim that the house is yours because you've paid the mortgage and the bills, however your ex could then agree that she didn't pay the bills, but did the housework as her contribution. This is just an example, but it shows what even if you can prove that you've paid for everything, its not as clear cut as that and you'd probably end up resorting to litigation for a result.

You said that "She keeps threatening me with breaking down the house door and clearing me out and by law she can do this." Excuse me but no, she cannot do this 'by law'. As joint owners you can both live in the home. If you are threatened in any way, or she tries to remove your things, then you can involve the police, but you will have to persist as they tend to treat these things as a 'domestic'. You could, if things got bad, go to court and get an injunction, but that really is a last resort.

It sounds as though you are in a position to live in the house and afford to run it on your own, so there is little point in letting it be repossessed and no point in selling it unless you really want to and your ex agrees.

Even if you did let the house get repossessed, it is more likely that you would get chased for the shortfall. It is pointless for a lender to actively pursue the party who is on benefits when the other has an income.

You asked about getting a mortgage abroad. You could get one, but it would be after living for some time in your chosen country and also when you've got a decent credit record, a job etc - just like here. You won't be blacklisted forever, but it is possible that you would be chased for up to 12 years for any shortfall, so its not an easy way out.

There is obviously a great deal of animosity between you and your ex. What I would suggest is that you go to a solictor conducts family mediations or if you've got a solicitor, ask them to refer you for mediation. By using mediation you can sort out the problems with the house as well as sorting out access to your child and the maintenance payments. It does cost money, but it does work for a lot of people.

-- pendle (pendle_666@yahoo.co.uk), June 10, 2002.

I went through a similiar problem myself,the (now) ex wife walked out and refused to contribute,saying she could not afford to,as her income was so low she was claiming family credit.Funny thing is three months later she bought another property,but still couldn't contribute to the joint mortgage!She was still receiving benefit. Four years on she still has her "new" house,but refuses to acknowledge any contact from the original lender. So they contact me with increasing menace in each letter. Joint liability sounds great but don't be suprised if they decide that you are the soft touch,or only approach one party.Often the attitude is that they will chase the one they believe is most likely to pay,with little or no regard to ability to pay.Who scares the easiest? Get in touch if you want to know the story in more detail.

-- Glen (glenj70@hotmail.com), July 01, 2002.