Yahoo.com Jun 14, 2002

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Pimps and Gangs Subtracted From Math Test

WINNIPEG, Manitoba (Reuters) - A Canadian teacher has been suspended after shocking a small northern Manitoba school by distributing a math exam that included questions about pimps, prostitutes, machine guns, cocaine trafficking and getting "knocked up."

The math proficiency test included questions such as: "Rufus is a pimp for three girls. If the price is $65 per trick, how many tricks per day must each girl turn to support Rufus' $800 per day crack habit?"

And then there was the trouble with Hector.

"Hector knocked up three girls in his gang. There are 27 girls in his gang. What is the exact percentage of the girls in the gang that Hector knocked up?"

Parents of the 13-year-old and 14-year old students who attend Juniper ( news - web sites) School in Thompson, Manitoba, said they were outraged.

And the province's minister of education, Drew Caldwell, said he was "disturbed."

The exam, which asked students for their name, gang name and home room, was fast becoming the talk of this nickel-mining community of 15,000 people 800 kilometers (500 miles) north of Winnipeg.

Supplied with the exact speed of travel and the number of seconds it takes to load a shot gun, another test question asked students to calculate the distance, Billie, a skateboard thief, would be able to flee before getting "whacked."

Newspaper reports said that board members at the Mystery Lake School District stripped the veteran teacher of her classroom duties at a meeting earlier this week. She was also suspended without pay for three days.

The test appeared to be modeled after an exam called "The City of Los Angeles High School Math Proficiency Exam," found on an Internet joke site.

-- (lars@indy.net), June 14, 2002

Answers

This technique of math education, known as "Reality Math", is the latest innovation from America's leading schools of Education.

For more information, please go to DOE.

-- (Welcome Home Kotter @ PS.784), June 14, 2002.

"Rufus is a pimp for three girls. If the price is $65 per trick, how many tricks per day must each girl turn to support Rufus' $800 per day crack habit?"

Well, if $65 is the going rate (which I doubt, a crack ho will blow ya for 20 bux or so from what I hear) each round (every girl turning a trick) is worth $195. Four rounds at $195 puts Rufus at $780, not quite enough to support his habit. Thus, each girl must turn four tricks, and one girl must turn one more trick to fill Rufus' pipe.

Of course, as a bidnessman, then you need to figure into the equation the girl's take, because they sure as shit ain't gonna walk the streets all night suckin dong only to give every single cent to Rufus. If that's Rufus' deal these hos would find a new pimp. So, basically, in a nutshell, the question is bogus.

The real question is why are students so dumb in Manatoba that they don't realise the profit motive of whoring? Sure, everybody knows ya gotta pay your pimp. But as any "john" can tell you, the girls don't just do it to fill Rufus' pipe, they have a crack pipe of their own to fill.

"Hector knocked up three girls in his gang. There are 27 girls in his gang. What is the exact percentage of the girls in the gang that Hector knocked up?"

Well, I myself was never very good at this percentage stuff. Sounds like 9% to me, but I ain't sure. What I am sure of is that Hector must not be giving it out equally to all the girls, otherwise a greater percentage would be pregnant. 27 chicks? In a gang, at my beck and call? Only 3 are pregnant? Sheesh, I think Hector is gay.

-- Uncle Deedah (unkeeD@yahoo.com), June 14, 2002.

For your enjoyment, the original test.

City of Los Angeles High School Math Proficiency Exam

Name: _____________________ Gang:________________________

1.Duane has an AK47 with a 30 round clip. If he misses 6 out of 10 shots and shoots 13 times at each drive by shooting, how many drive by shootings can he attempt before he has to reload?

2.If Jose has 2 ounces of cocaine and he sells an 8 ball to Jackson for $320 and 2 grams to Billy for $85 per gram, what is the street value of the balance of the cocaine if he doesn't cut it?

3.Rufus is pimping for 3 girls. If the price is $65 for each trick, how many tricks will each girl have to turn so Rufus can pay for his $800 per day crack habit?

4.Jarome wants to cut his 1/2 pound of Heroin to make 20% more profit. How many ounces of cut will he need?

5.Willie gets $200 for stealing a BMW, $50 for a Chevy and $100 for a 4x4. If he has stolen 2 BMW's and 3 4x4's, how many Chevy's will he have to steal to make $800?

6.Raoul is in prison for 6 years for murder. He got $10,000 for the hit. If his common law wife is spending $100 per month, how much money will he have left when he gets out of prison and how many years will he get for killing the bitch that spent his money?

7.If the average spray paint can covers 22 square feet and the average letter is 3 square feet, how many letters can a tagger spray with 3 cans of paint?

8.Hector knocked up 6 girls in his gang. There are 27 girls in the gang. What percentage of the girls in the gang has Hector knocked up?

-- (yep sounds about right @ for kids. these days), June 14, 2002.

I used to hate "story problems" but these are way cool.

-- (nemesis@awol.com), June 14, 2002.