Because I fly this cropduster and and that's the only thing exposed during these hot days in Idaho. I don't wear a flying scarf! I expose my twanger behind the fertilizer tanks when I take a leak though, but I only get Parathion blisters out of that. Oh, by the way, I do racial profiling in these parts! If I see any middle eastern stinky assed bearded camel herder drivin around lookin at my Agcat while ridin the brake pedal I will force the brown bastard into the ditch, hog tie em, and interrogate the little bottom feeder till I get the truth! There! That's my take on political correctness on this subject. Fuck em! Fuck em all!

-- Boswell (fundown@thefarm.net), July 06, 2002

Answers

You Democrats are a loving, sensitive bunch.

-- bloopy (the@childrens.hero), July 06, 2002.

The LAX guy only wanted a little love.

-- (lars@indy.net), July 06, 2002.

I don't want your insipid, wimpy Christian love. I want the militant, cleansing love of Allah.

The action at LAX was motivated by hatred, pure and simple. I deliberately murdered a beautiful (for a hebe) young Israeli woman who worked at the counter. The bitch smiled at me. She was to be married soon. Ha, a double victory. I aborted her unborn hebe-scum pickaninnies before they were even conceived.

I deliberately murdered an Israeli immigrant. A father of 6. A "diamond broker", how heebish.

-- (Hesham@Paradise.busting cherries), July 06, 2002.

At last we know the guy flying in North By Northwest.

-- Carlos (riffraff@cybertime.net), July 06, 2002.

I'm not a touchy feely warm fuzzy person so I am not a Democrat.

-- Boswell (fundown@thefarm.net), July 06, 2002.

Boswell, we are all so very proud of you! In your dreams you will always be victorious. Do you wear a little cape and a spandex suit, too?

-- Little Nipper (canis@minor.net), July 07, 2002.

Boswell:

Over the years we have determined that you don't live in Idaho [at least not where you say you live] and that you don't know squat about flying a small plane.

What are you? You have supplied the answer!

I'm a redneck ! ;<)))

Best Wishes,,,,,

Z

-- Z1X4Y7 (Z1X4Y7@aol.com), July 08, 2002.

Well Bos, looks like you’ve kicked over a few rocks and ‘VOILA’, out crawls the insects LN and Z.

The Little Thing is just a sappy liberal with a warehouse of whining complaints and an empty plate of reasonable solutions.

And then you have the pompous bullshitter ‘Z’, telling YOU what YOU ARE or ARE NOT. That is the most laughable piece of crap to come from this piss-ant wannabe to date.

I’m sure you will give these two specimens the attention they so deserve…..ZERO!!

-- Rolling (on@the.floor), July 08, 2002.

Boswell for President!

-- (rocco@buffed.enuff), July 08, 2002.

Hey there LN next time you come to Reubens Idaho you give me a call cause my home phone number came up a couple of years ago and I believe Cin called it. I'll take my spandex and rap it around your nut bag and give it a yank and knock some sense into your liberal weeny ass. And as far as not knowing about small airplanes, I've played that game with you fuckers before so if you want to tangle with specifics lets get the balls rollin! I fly the Grumman Agcat which is not tiny you simple fuck. Cherri tried the same thing awhile back so give it your best shot. JEEsus H. FUcking Cheerist!

-- Boswell (fundown@thefarm.net), July 08, 2002.

Boswell:

Reubens Idaho

OK; now you live in Reubens ;<))). Before you lived in towns that I had spent some time in. You didn't know squat about them.

Go ahead; tell me where Reubens is located. The state of Idaho hasn't heard of the town.

Best Wishes,,,,,

Z

-- ZiX4Y7 (Z1X4Y7@aol.com), July 08, 2002.

Z, it's a new development created by Texas realtor Charles P. Reubin.

-- Peter Errington (petere7@starpower.net), July 08, 2002.

Boswell, you seem to have a richly violent fantasy life. Assuming you aren't dialing up from the prison, I expect none of it ever amounts to much in real life -- but, that's only as it should be.

-- Little Nipper (canis@minor.net), July 08, 2002.

Forty miles east of Lewiston. 9 miles NE of Reubens. 6 air miles north of Craigmont. 6 air miles SW of Orofino. Five miles from the Reubens Gifford Road. Live on Growler Point Road on a dead end road on the edge of Big Canyon since 48. The most experienced pilot in the region with over 10,000 hours of Ag time. Suck my nuts you fuckers! You call my hand and I'm callin you two simple fuckers a pair of phonic phonies that don't have anything better to do than sit on your lazy asses all day chewin the fat with a fucking key board. You guys haven't drawn a blister on your hands since you got caught tossin off in the bushes in your home towns watchin the local butt rangers pack each others stools. Call me when your ready to go. Give me a chance to rearrange your snot. Please!

-- Boswell (fundown@thefarm.net), July 08, 2002.

Z, surely you don't think that you're the only one here who's been everywhere and done everything...

-- (he@he.he), July 08, 2002.

Reubens, Idaho

-- (Lewis @ Clark @ Sacagewea's.teepee), July 08, 2002.

Don't worry Z, Boswell is no threat to your title of the biggest bullshitter on the net, he's for real.

-- lol (z is @ jack. ass), July 09, 2002.

Ya gotta love these flap-jawed asswipes like ‘Z’ and ‘Little Thing”.

How smart do you have to be to confirm the existence of a town like Reubens, Idaho?

If you two weenies would shut the fuck up before you write, you might be able to fool people into thinking you really know what you are talking about.

Instead, you prove once again how infested the Internet is with lying losers.

-- Rolling (on@the.floor), July 09, 2002.

Scuse me!!

How could I have left ‘Errorton’ off the weenie list?

-- Rolling (on@the.floor), July 09, 2002.

Have a care, LL. You're dealing with the king of repartee here.

-- Peter Errington (petere7@starpower.net), July 09, 2002.

Well, I love you, Boswell.

-- helen (worried@about.the.heat.of.summer), July 09, 2002.

It seems to me that this attack on Boswell reflects PC, one of the bains of our fair country. He's male, and he's conservative, your classic PC target. Do his critics have the intellectual honesty to go after a female liberal? What about this Petulant Petulia person? Is she for real? Ask yourself that.

-- Peter Errington (petere7@starpower.net), July 09, 2002.

Next meet at Boswells? Lov to learn to fly a duster.

-- Carlos (riffraff@cybertime.net), July 09, 2002.

LOL Peter! You're amusing today~

Bos, I was in Kellogg at the end of May-just passin thru on my way to Seattle. Dang, missed another opportunity for a gathering...

-- Aunt Bee (Aunt__Bee@hotmail.com), July 09, 2002.

No, I love Boswell.

-- (step@off.helen), July 09, 2002.

Anybody that wants to meet up to tip a beer, cook a hamburger or get a bloody nose take the Reubens-Gifford road that connects 12 and 95 and just ask for the local spray pilot and I'd be abliged. I'll put ya in the hopper and take you for a couple of runs across the lentils. Bring your camera but you need to tie a scarf around your jaw cause your cheeks get to floppin and your teeth dry out real quick. All Z and LN will get is a weeny roast!

-- Boswell (fundown@thefarm.net), July 09, 2002.

And I don't trust anybody that signs with Best Wishes. God thats phony! Kind of like waitresses that drop your order off and tell you to ENJOY. Don't tell me to enjoy it till I've tried it and then I can make up my mind whether its any good. Kind of like finger nails down a black board. Enjoy! Best Wishes! Enjoy my Best Wishes! And what the fuck is a Z anyway? Somethin you swat on a hot summer day with your John Deere cap while soakin your ass in the hot tub enjoying a cool Rainier with salt. Rainier needs salt!

-- Boswell (fundown@thefarm.net), July 10, 2002.

Who has teeth?

-- Aunt Bee (Aunt__Bee@hotmail.com), July 10, 2002.

Boswell, you have inspired me! How about you make some vague childish threats against yourself and credit them to my account?

-- Little Nipper (canis@minor.net), July 10, 2002.

I reckon I'm a redneck too, though most people seem to get along me except fer the assholes, they have a very hard time with my personality.

Wannna swing by the house and have a cold one or 12?

-- capnfun (capnfun1@excite.com), July 10, 2002.

Gotta admit LN, that was pretty funny! Heehee.

-- Uncle Deedah (unkeeD@yahoo.com), July 10, 2002.

Vague and Childish you say! Hey you Little Fucker, I don't threaten nobody unless I'm willing to back it up. It ain't nothin for me to whip a man's ass and I still got all my teeth. Little Nipper you kind of remind me of a fellar name Dick Lyle a few years ago. He thought he was smarter than shit and did everything to prove it but one time at a party he proved otherwise. He had this lead pencil in his shirt pocket so I went up to him in front of a dozen people and said "Do you have a pencil Dick". He answered "I sure do". He hid out for days after that one! Do ya see where this is heading?

-- Boswell (fundown@thefarm.net), July 11, 2002.

But, Boswell! That's why I asked you to supply the requisite insults. It's obvious to anyone with half a brain that I could never hope to match you when it comes to that "pencil, Dick" kind of wit. I know we are not even in same league.

-- Little Nipper (canis@minor.net), July 11, 2002.

I am redneck

In the army of the Lord

I am redneck

In the army

I’m a redneck in the army

Got my war clothes on

I’m a redneck in the army

Of the Lord, of the Lord

-- (lyle lovett@the.apostle), July 11, 2002.

Topless Car Wash a Hit in Idaho

Thu Jul 11, 4:25 AM ET

By NICHOLAS K. GERANIOS, Associated Press Writer

MOSCOW, Idaho (AP) - If you roll up to Daisy Mace's car wash, you'd better roll up your windows and prepare for the tops to come down.

Mace and her friends run a successful automobile cleaning service that some might object to as being anything but good clean fun: Topless women wash the cars.

Now civic leaders and rival car wash owners who don't feature similar services want the washers to cover up and are trying to shut down Mace's sudsy spectacle.

Moscow, home of the University of Idaho, is a liberal anomaly in a staid state. Still, the City Council is hastily trying to enact a law to prevent topless car washes. The debate has bogged down over how much of a breast can be legally uncovered.

"Idaho state law says there is no difference between topless men and topless women," Mace, 22, said this week. "The councilmen are trying to impose their own morals."

The latest proposal, to be voted on Monday, sets a minimum of covering the areola with a length of material running in a straight but narrow line across the breast, said Council member Peg Hamlett.

The idea for the unorthodox business began when Mace and her friends found themselves short of rent money and decided to hold a car wash. They found that ripping off their shirts wasn't bad for business.

"Everybody liked it so much we continued," said Mace, a Spokane native whose orange hair and nose ring blended right into the funky downtown scene.

Five times in the past month, the entrepreneurs — including several topless men — have set up shop on the streets of Moscow with hoses, rags and soap. They don't have set hours, but once they tack up a few "Topless Car Wash" signs, customers magically appear.

Patrons are asked only for donations, with most paying from $15 to $20, Mace said. There is a party atmosphere, with barbecue and music.

The competition is rough for Tony Heath, owner of T.C.C. Car Care. His business has dropped by more than $100 a day since the unclad competitors set up shop.

"They have no business license," Heath complained.

Heath doesn't care if the women go around topless, but believes profiting from it is wrong. He also argues that the rival business is discriminatory.

"Guys can't go around topless and make money," he said.

Moscow has a long tradition of battles over breasts. Several years ago, three women decided to go topless to protest a local law that banned bare-breasted women in public, but allowed bare-chested men.

The three were arrested, although the subsequent legal fight ended with the city's ordinance being struck down as too vague.

"We're the first to take advantage of the lack of an ordinance," said Loni Kirchner, 20, of Hamilton, Mont., a car washer who nevertheless declines to work topless.

Idaho state law requires only that genitals be covered in public, Hamlett said.

Mace acknowledged there is some exploitation of her body. But she stressed the signs say "topless car wash," not "topless women car wash," because men are included.

The car washers shoo away any gawkers or anyone with a video camera. Guys who want more than one car wash are sent packing. When a truck load of guys got a bit frisky, Mace hosed them down.

The entrepreneurs are resigned to being put out of business. When car washer Cristiana Anderson, 18, is asked what she would do after that, she glumly replied: "Job."

-- Yeeeehaaaaw! (I@love.Idaho!), July 11, 2002.

Boswell:

Sorry that I don't believe you. I spent much of my life in western Montana, Idaho and Eastern Washington. You don't sound like the folks that I met there; unless you are CI or CSA. I emailed some ranchers, that I know, in your claimed area. They hadn't heard of you or your town.

My work involves beef cattle production. I spend a lot of time, now-a-days, in Wa, Or and northern CA. They grow the forage seed there.We grow the beef from here to Texas. I will be starting work in the tri-cities area in the next year.

If you are for real, I will drive over and look you up. We can throw a few down and have a few laughs. I know that part of Idaho well and can probably find you. There aren't that many people there.

Best Wishes,,,,,

Z

-- Z1X4Y7 (Z1X4Y7@aol.com), July 11, 2002.

This is why I have so much fun down on the farm! Hey Z you stupid fucker, nobody knows me as Boswell except those that read my posts. Who did you ask for Boswell P. Suggins? And as far as Reubens not existing that's only in your mind. Most people from Grangeville to Moscow know where Reubens is. But maybe you think any unincorporated township with less than 90 people doesn't count. What a simple fuck! Just to prove you are legit who are the cattlemen that haven't heard of this lost place? We raised registered Polled Herefords 67 years before dispersing in 95 so I know most if not all of them in these parts. Prove yourself you aren't phony. I double dog dare ya!

-- Boswell (fundown@thefarm.net), July 11, 2002.

Not going to give names to an unknown. You could be a terrorist who wants to hijack their cattle to produce methane bombs ;<))). We are on up you; we have 2.5 million beef cattle and no feed lots. Those go to Kansas or Iowa where they don't mind the stink. When I get out that way, I will give you a message. Should be fun.

Best Wishes,,,,

Z

-- Z1X4Y7 (Z1X4Y7@aol.com), July 11, 2002.

"We are on up you". Z, what the hell does that mean? Does that mean you are a butt ranger and you are comin on to me? Well if you are I won't stand for that one damn minute. If you tried somethin like that with me I'd cut your dangle off and make you eat and than swallow it in pieces!

-- Boswell (fundown@thefarm.net), July 12, 2002.

Boswell:

It means that we have more beef cattle in one county than you have in the whole state.

Best Wishes,,,,,

Z

-- Z1X4Y7 (Z1X4Y7@aol.com), July 13, 2002.

Whoopdedo and tootaloo to you. Who gives a flyin fuck!

-- Boswell (fundown@thefarm.net), July 13, 2002.

Mizzou ranks well ahead of Idaho but is a poor second to Texas

LI NK

-- (lars@indy.net), July 13, 2002.

Lars:

Depends on the year. With the drought in west Texas, this is one of the years that we are number 1 rather than number 2. ;<))) Glad that they move these things to feed lots in Kansas, Iowa, Colorado and Nebraska. Works well.

Of course, going by the numbers, we have one cow for every two people. Iowa [last time I heard] had three hogs for every person.

Best Wishes,,,,

Z

-- Z1X4Y7 (Z1X4Y7@aol.com), July 13, 2002.

By-the-by Lars:

I am beginning to see a lot of what is called something like "identity maintained" cattle. They are implanted with the mark of the devil [chips, 666 and all of that]. They are shipped off to Nebraska for finishing, but returned for processing.

We are getting a lot of sell-offs from west Texas and further west [the rain free regions]. Many of those breeds don't do well here. Hamburger stock; so to speak. Mostly, the cattle here are Angus. I use them because they are easy to handle. You get a rogue from time to time [we call them Boswells] and those are culled.

Difference here is 10 per acre rather than one per 10 acres. ;<)))

Best wishes,,,,,,

Z

-- Z1X4Y7 (Z1X4Y7@aol.com), July 13, 2002.

I think the implanted chip indentification has at least something to do with animal-rights activists protesting the cruelty of branding. Cin?

-- (lars@indy.net), July 13, 2002.

No Lars:

It has to do with tracing high quality cattle. You live in Indiana and can get good beef. If you go to Boston, you will find two classes of beef. Stuff you could cook or use to put a new sole on your shoe and a second class which costs much more. The identity maintenance has to do with identification of certain breeding lines.

Best Wishes,,,,,,

Z

-- Z1X4Y7 (Z1X4Y7@aol.com), July 13, 2002.

Iowa has three hogs for every person?

Been reading the 2000 ccensus report again Z?

We have to keep your bacon supply up don't we?

BTW, grilled some chops this week. The other white meat is still pretty tasty.

-- Jack Booted Thug (governmentconspiracy@NWO.com), July 14, 2002.

Z--

I used to live in Boston. The lobster there is much better than in Indiana, Missouri, Idaho or Iowa. Beef was usually corned and only eaten in Southie.

I don't know if there are implanted chip IDs in lobsters.

-- (lars@indy.net), July 14, 2002.

Lars:

We are [or were] from the area. Family was from Dover, Welllesley, Manchester, [now by-the-sea], Marblehead and other such places. Everyone has now left for the PNW. You have to go to Maine to get good lobster. Buy it off of the boat. We knew a few lobstermen when we lived there. They would save some good pounders when we called in the mornin. Usually had em when we had guests from the west coast. They weren't familiar with good seafood. ;<))))

Best Wishes,,,,,

Z

-- Z1X4Y7 (Z1X4Y7@aol.com), July 14, 2002.

Ah, Marblehead and a fair breeze.

-- (lars@indy.net), July 14, 2002.

So I'm a rogue and a cull? Well let me tell you somethin. I'm out there most every mornin at the crack of dawn weather permitting, continuing the attack on pesticence to our food supply,risking my life for your fat ass to insure you and others that you will have an adequate three meals a day with snacks in between. Underneath the lines and over the bull pines from 5 to 9 at nite in an environment of fire violence and sometimes death. Name me another job in this country more dangerous than aerial application. And then I have to put up with the bull shit of the gypsy crowd. These are the nutbars, nitwits, fruitcakes, looney tunes and otherwise clueless that move from California and other liberal strongholds out to the rural areas of Idaho and other Western States. Because they want to smell the pines and listen to the birds and get that warm fuzzy feeling. Agriculture nationwide has been dumped on economically and landowners are selling off parcels of good farmland, taking acres permanently out of production and making a mistake that they will forever regret. But they are doing this to pay their debt and NOT TO MAKE A KILLING. I and others now have to deal with this bunch of weirdo tree huggers in ways only a lawyer can understand. They don't like field dust, they don't like noise, they don't like farm chemicals as of CROP DUSTERS, they are anti firearm and they have the money to wheel the power. This is the biggest threat down the road to this country that we have. Areas around Cottonwood Creek East of Lewiston and the Clearwater River Basin from Lewiston to Kamiah have populated from 112 to 1500 in 6 years. And most of em the above described! The rural areas as of now are becoming hell in a hand basket!

-- Boswell (fundown@thefarm.net), July 14, 2002.

Um, Boswell...that you do what you do is a decision you make. We all make our own and live with the consequences. Just the way life is friend. And, um, what makes you think my ass is fat and I need to eat three meals a day and snacks besides? Sounds like you're making some assumptions about folks in general that are not necessarily true about individuals, just MHO though. Am I a tree hugger you ask, I can be because I love nature. Although I don't consider myself a radical. Do I appreciate what you do for the food production in this country? Of course. I just choose not to eat food that has been sprayed if I have a choice. We all have choices. You make yours, I make mine, and so life goes. I choose to live in peace whenever possible. It seems from your posts you choose to live in anger. And so it goes. Perhaps one day you will see the futility of expending your energy in such a manner. I hope so.

-- Aunt Bee (Aunt__Bee@hotmail.com), July 14, 2002.

Hey Mr. Knowitall Z, have you ever posted without mentioning food? You must be one fat motherfucker, what do you weigh, about 450?

-- (Z constantly @ stuffs. his face), July 15, 2002.

"They weren't familiar with good seafood. ;<))))"

Hey Z, how come everytime you post something you make it sound like you're the only one in the world with good taste? Don't you realize that you sound like a major leaque arrogant asshole?

I recommend you do some research on the solar system. You might be disappointed to discover that contrary to your delusions of grandeur, the Earth does not revolve around you.

-- sheeesh (get off @ your. high horse), July 15, 2002.

Aunt Bee, that part about bein a fat ass was meant for Z. Now the tree huggin part was meant for tree huggers anywhere. You not eatin anything with chemicals on it is pure bullshit nonsense unless you buy everything at the healthfood store that says its organic or eat your own garden produce. And even then, I would believe half of it. All supermarket corn, beans, peas, potatoes, carrots, asparagus, cabbage, along with wheat, barley, and oats are treated or sprayed with herbicides, insecticides, and fungicides for control of yield robbing insects, weeds, rust, and blight.

-- Boswell (fundown@thefarm.net), July 15, 2002.

And I'm not an angry person. I love sex, macaroni salad, and Our Gang serial movies. I just can't stand Green Peacers, tree huggers, and the other cock-suckers that fall in that same category. Thousands of acres swallowed up by a bunch low-life bottom feeders. More mouths to feed with less ground to do it on. Some of these jackasses even like to have their own little marijuina plot back in the trees. Four passes with Tordon and Dagger takes care of that problem though. No wonder they want to be left alone. Jeesus H. Fucking Creesist I hate liberals!

-- Boswell (fundown@thefarm.net), July 15, 2002.

OK:

I admit it. I don't live in Idyhoe. I am a gay liberal and live in San Jose. I became a conservative when my liberal partner jilted me. I am alone and angry.

Turn about is fair play.

-- (Boswell (fundown@thefarm.net)), July 18, 2002.

I'm not alone and I'm not angry you stupid cocksucker! And the next time you sign my name to somethin I'm going to cut your head off and shit down your throat!

-- Boswell (fundown@thefarm.net), July 18, 2002.

Boswell:

Guess you see how it works here. I didn't know that you lived in San Jose. I was there in January. While I am not gay, I know a number of gay folks in the town. I could have introduced you around. It is a big city.

Best Wishes,,,,

Z

-- Z1X4Y7 (Z1X4Y7@aol.com), July 18, 2002.

Z, do you ever wake in the morning or you always in and out of conciousness? It always amazed me how the homosexual liberal crowd tried to tone down their life style by calling themselves gay. Hell, does that mean they are HAPPY? How in the hell those guys get all excited over a hairy asshole is beyond me. So you little jerk, I'm not from San Jose and I ain't no buttranger!

-- Boswell (fundown@thefarm.net), July 18, 2002.

Boswell:

No need to be in the closet. By the way, I am not a little jerk, I am a big jerk. bout 6'2" 235. But I am a totally nonviolent jerk. ;<))). Got the violence out of my system playing linebacker. Keep that straight. I know that you don't live in Idaho, so I assumed that the other poster knew where you lived. No more than that.

Best Wishes,,,,

Z

-- Z1X4Y7 (Z1X4Y7@aol.com), July 18, 2002.

Hey you big fat stupid jerk. I do live in Idaho and damn proud of it. I clued you to things that only a resident would know about this Camas Prairie and specifically the Reubens area and you passed it up. You wouldn't give me names of people I know but you say have never heard of me. I suppose you are known as Z in your neck of the woods. I think not you stupid fucker! Get out of my sand box cause I'm tired of your silly games!

-- Boswell (fundown@thefarm.net), July 18, 2002.

Boswell:

The Camas Prairie that I know about is in Washington. If you have one, tell me about it; after you have developed a civil tongue. ;<)))

Best Wishes,,,,,

Z

-- Z1X4Y7 (Z1X4Y7@aol.com), July 18, 2002.

Are we gonna have to separate you two?

-- (dont make @ me. come back there), July 18, 2002.

Z loves pulling Boswell's chain. He made the San Jose post.

-- (I@was.watching), July 18, 2002.

And also I need to say to you big fat nincompoop. Because you have too damn much free time on your hands to be working in the cattle feedlot industry. Your always on this chatroom about anytime thruout the day so things ain't jivin hear.

-- Boswell (fundown@thefarm.net), July 19, 2002.

Boswell:

The reason I have free time on my hands is due to my superior intelligence and charm. Having completed the restructuring of the new anti-terrorism legislation in the last hour, I have essentially done the work of at least 12 congressmen, 14 congressional aides, 4 social workers, 2 firemen, and an ox. This leaves me free to pursue my own interests, of which there are many. One of these is tracing where people live, using my aforementioned minions who are experts in the computer field.

My minions report to me that you do not actually live in Idaho. They are busy tracing your true whereabouts using methods that you could not possibly understand. But, of course, I can. ;<))) I'd explain these methods in more detail, but legal counsel has strongly advised against divulging such information for reasons of national security.

Speaking of national security, Condoleeza Rice was over the other day so we could discuss this whole "terrorist" situation. I thought it quite appropriate to prepare her a dish of rice as I'm sure she would appreciate the irony. ;<))) I used a special blend of spices developed back East, where I spent most of my life. As she swooned from the magnificence of my dish, the doorbell rang and it was Phil Greenspun. He informed me that the Lusenet forums were shutting down "any minute now" and that if we didn't move to another site, we would all be killed. Then he laughed and said he was kidding about the part about being killed. He made a strange motion with his hand across his neck, though. I don't know what to make of it. I gave him some rice to go and he was on his way, but on his way out, he tripped and fell and cracked his skull on my Mercedes. Blood was flowing everywhere. I wasn't sure what to do at this point. Blood stains are surprisingly difficult to remove from a customized Mercedes paint job. Condoleeza suggested a mild type of detergent that I had never heard of. I immediately called her bluff and informed her that I was aware of every type of possible detergent that could be used in this case. She insisted that she could provide an alternative. The only issue was which car to take. We obviously couldn't take the Mercedes as it had blood stains on it. ;<))) Condoleeza offered the use of her car and I reluctantly accepted, realizing that it was several categories below what I am used to riding in. As we stepped over Phil's writhing body, I noticed that her front passenger tire was a bit low. I thought it important to relay this information and as I did so, she admitted that she really didn't know which detergent would be best to clean the blood off my car. Once again, I was victorious.

We went back inside where we celebrated my astounding victory with an excellent champagne from a very little-known but utterly superior grape growing region of France. I would mention the location, but my legal minions have instructed me to stay silent on the issue lest I anger the French government yet again. ;<))) All in all, it was quite a splendid evening that was only interruped briefly when Phil noisily hobbled back into his car and drove away, zig-zagging across the road like only a concussion victim could. ;<)))

I'll be away for a few more weeks, so you probably won't be hearing from me for a while. Of course, I expect that these forums will have crashed into a fiery death long before I return.

Best Wishes``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` ````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` ```````````

ZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

-- (Zzzz@Zzzz.zzzzz), July 19, 2002.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz, bravo, please join us at jonathonswift.com.

-- (just @ modest.proposal), July 19, 2002.

ZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz,

Bravo. I want to have your baby! (Assuming you're an XY kinda ZZZZzzzzz)

LOL!!!

-- (just an@anonymous.one), July 20, 2002.