My husband and I would like to have a baptism for our 6 year old and our infant. We both were baptized as infants then strayed from the church due to travel and work in remote areas. Now that we are settled down back in the US we would like to introduce the church to our children. Is it true that my husband and myself must take classes and our 6 year old too? Both sides of our family (parent wise) say no, but they are basing this on when they had us baptized...but they also live in Ireland and Puerto Rico. Who's right? Can we do this without classes? My husband called a local catholic church and one of the ladies literally yelled him for not going to church for the last 7 years, though there wasn't a church were we were located of any faith, this almost turned my husband off of the whole baptism! Please any info will help!! Thanks :) Killian

-- killian o'rourke-ortiz (1prodigy@bellsouth.net), September 24, 2002

Answers

Yes, you are supposed to take classes nowadays, you are supposed to be registered in the parish as well (usually a minimum of 6 months), and now you often have a "public" baptism (that is, in front of the congregation during Mass), whether you want to or not. At small parishes, when some invite all of the sisters and the cousins and the aunts, it can overwhelm often already bad parking situations.

I have no idea what the classes consist of or how long they take. Godparents may have to take them as well.

That said, you can sometimes find priests who will still do private baptisms, with or without classes, but you have to ask around. I know the regulars on the board frown on this, but not everyone wants a public baptism, and if I were yelled at the way you say your husband was, I wouldn't be happy either.

-- GT (nospam@nospam.com), September 25, 2002.

Dear Killian:
Your children are precious to God. They have immortal souls, as you should well realise. So should your husband.

Whatever your past problems have been, they aren't an excuse for having neglected to baptise them; and at this point you're apparently coming around to the fact.

You say: ''My husband called a local Catholic church and one of the ladies literally yelled him for not going to church for the last 7 years, though there wasn't a church were we were located of any faith, this almost turned my husband off of the whole baptism.''

Is this all we're concerned with now? You're afraid of hubby gettng turned off on the whole baptism idea? What about his children? Maybe you feel it's irrelevant, but where's the FAITH???

Has your seven year hiatus from church destroyed the faith you and he were baptised in? On account of ONE lady's indiscreet question?

You haven't even spoken with a PRIEST yet; and already ''Let's call the whole thing off!''

No wonder seven years went by. Is a ''class'' of a few months too much for that faith to endure, for the sake of your babies' souls? Both of you get off your butts and go to a parish ANYWHERE; and enlist in this class, or whatever it takes. The Internet is no place to be asking these things.

You are full responsible for the souls of those two babies. If God forbid, one should die without baptism, God will hold you parents to blame. You're ALREADY to blame, but you can still make amends for it. If you love your children, that is. Go ON!

-- eugene c. chavez (chavezec@pacbell.net), September 25, 2002.

Hello, GT. Long time, no see.
Welcome back, but being away so long has gotten you "out of shape."

Somehow you overlooked the fact that Killian and her husband are already baptized. You didn't have to worry them with all that stuff about public baptism! By the way, I have never even heard of such a thing -- forcing an adult to be baptized in public. Apparently it is done in your parish (perhaps your whole diocese), but it is definitely not a universal practice.

Welcome back home, Killian! You are doing a great thing that will truly change your life for the better. Take it slow and easy. You will be happy soon if you fight off the impatience. Please accept my apology on behalf of that insensitive woman at the rectory. She had no right to say anything nasty.

Please come back to the forum to get information about any church-related topic. (Consult the archives especially. Then if you can't find something, ask a question.)

God bless you.
John

-- J. F. Gecik (jfgecik@hotmail.com), September 25, 2002.

Anyway, Killian:

I love your name. What could be lovelier than:

Killian O'Rourke-Ortiz;

My God! You could write a romantic novel around it / --May Our Lord bless you and keep you. Give your two babies to Him, Killian; nothing else matters. Stay in touch, OK?

-- eugene c. chavez (chavezec@pacbell.net), September 26, 2002.

Hi John, I was having computer problems, and I think also some server problems as well.

I was replying as I did because of Killian's statement that both sides of their family were not US-based, and that they had told her no classes were required. She also said that she and her husband had not been going to church for the last several years.

I know that as late as the late sixties/early seventies priests were still doing private baptisms as a matter of course (I have a friend who was baptized while in second grade at that time in a private ceremony at the church with her brother and sisters, and without godparents present--they were back east at the time). I think an honorarium was usual and customary, as it is for a wedding.

I do not see that on the west coast today. People are either baptized during a Mass--sometimes as many as four or five people, or you might see a separate baptism service, usually led by a deacon, where you have 20-30 children (usually) or adults, the parents/sponsors/ godparents and guests, and they baptise one after the other, with a short pause between each one for picture-taking. Kind of impersonal, to me, and not conducive to prayerful reflection upon what you're doing here. Most priests I have talked with do not want to have private ceremonies anymore--and cite reasons such as "more meaningful to have it in front of the congregation" (I don't know if that is true or not), and lack of time. It may vary from priest to priest and diocese to diocese, but I knew of at least one priest who did do private baptisms because he could make good money for his parish by collecting the honorariums.

I never saw the harm in private baptisms, as long as they were held in the church.

-- GT (nospam@nospam.com), September 26, 2002.

Hi, everyone and thank you for your answers. First off, thank you for the comment on my name, it is my grandmothers that was given to me, then of course ortiz for my husband :) Okay, first let me clarify to the email about me not attending church for the last few years...We lived in a very remote part of Alaska (closer to Russia than the main country) doing research and there were no churches. We did teach our children our catholic ways and such, but they were not brought to a church unfortunately unless we came to visit and even then we rarely had time to visit friends here, but the church was never without its place in our home.

Secondly just an update. My husband and I have found a wonderful church here in Florida, where we live now and have decided that this is the best one for us. Wonderful and friendly, very family oriented and that is hard to find sometimes in a college/university town. My 6 year old son is very excited about everything going on and I am relieved that he is looking forward to his classes as he sometimes gets a bit nervous around people and events.

I am happy I found this great site and I just wanted to thank all of you again for your wonderful answers! Thank you to all and god bless! Killian

-- Killian (1prodigy@bellsouth.net), September 26, 2002.