Hi,

My husband and I were wondering if we could video tape ourselves having marital relations so we could see ourselves during the marital act. We have no plans to show them to anyone else, just to watch it ourselves. Is this OK, or is it wierd?

Who

-- Who (wondering@home.com), January 14, 2003

Answers

I question why do you want to do this? Is it so you can lust after each other by watching porn of yourselves? I mean, that what it comes down to, it will be porn. Maybe I suggest you have sex infront of mirror, if only to satisfy you curiosity of what you both look like while making love to each other. Other than that, I think it is immoral to make such a tape. God bless.

-- Gordon (gvink@yahoo.com), January 14, 2003.

"Is this OK, or is it wierd? "

It's weird.

-- Theresa Huether (RodnTee4Jesus@aol.com), January 15, 2003.

matter of fact,Gordon, the mirror thing is weird too.

-- Theresa Huether (RodnTee4Jesus@aol.com), January 15, 2003.

Well, I may catch some flack for saying this but here goes! I see no problem in this couple video taping themselves for their own private use. No two couples are aroused in the same way. If this draws the couple closer together in their marriage by stimulating them into sexual intercourse and breaks no other rules in the Church or in civil law and provided they both consent to it of their own free will, then I see no harm in it. No one is being victimized here or hurt in any way. Pornography consists of removing the sex act from the intimacy of the partners (CCC 2354). This is clearly not the case in this instance. Pornography offends because it perverts the conjugal act, the intimate giving of spouses to each other (CCC2354). In this case it will clearly draw the spouses together more if this video is used in foreplay in the future. If the video is in itself not the object of either profit or ultimate sexual pleasure than I can have no problem with it. I have even known a wise old priest to prescribe such an act as a means to stimulating a couple’s lagging sex life. To feel better about this, the couple could see a priest. They might want to consult more than one however, as I am sure opinions on this matter will be all over the map.

As Mateo would say,enjoy! :-)

-- Ed Lauzon (grader@accglobal.net), January 15, 2003.

I think once you are married your bedroom life is between you and your spouse and you are allowed to do most anything you want as long as it is O.K. with the other person, you aren't abusing yourselves, taking birth control and no third party is involved.--Just make sure no one else sees that tape, it might cause embarrassment later!

Sharon

-- Sharon (delipasta@hotmail.com), January 15, 2003.

I would imagine that we should ask the Lord first. Keeping it private is to save oneself from embarrassment. Keeping it Holy is to save ones self from sin.

-- Oliver Fischer (spicenut@excite.com), January 15, 2003.

The marital embrace is a prayer and renewal of your marriage vows. It is not a self satisfying act, while God did make it an enjoyable act, it is not something that should be done out of lust, but love.

I would strongly recommend that you read Christopher West's book, "The Good News About Sex and Marriage". He gives us a very beautiful look at our sexuality in light of Catholic teaching. It has changed my perspective and my marriage as well as everyone else I know that has read this book.

God most certainly wants to be in our bedrooms, wasn't it He who gave us this gift of lovemaking? Our society has so tainted our view of sexuality that even we Christians are being confused.

God Bless everyone's marriage that reads this response!

Annette

-- Annette (jhkadk@brick.net), January 19, 2003.

There's already plenty of better stuff on the History Channel...

-- Emerald (emerald1@cox.net), January 20, 2003.

As one in a position of authority I see no problem in this only I have one stipulation... Can you please send me a copy for further inspection, so that I can research your question more thoroughly.

-- Tom Basset (interboy77@hotmail.com), February 08, 2003.