Very good friends of mine have asked me to be the godmother of their second child . I am Catholic, however, I am divorced. Will I be able to be the godmother of this child or not?

-- Lori Birac (mala2273@hotmail.com), February 04, 2003

Answers

The Church's position is that divorce actually changes nothing. Therefore a divorced person's relationship to the Church is not altered by the fact of divorce. A divorced person may, and should, still receive the sacraments, and participate fully in the life of the Church. The Church seeks confirmation that potential godparents are in fact participating in the life of the Church, but the fact of divorce, in and of itself, should not be an obstacle.

The problems arise when a divorced person remarries. In the absence of a decree of nullity, that situation would be seen by the Church as a state of ongoing overt adultery and would disqualify the person both from the sacraments, and from any officially recognized appointment within the Church, including that of godparent.

-- Paul (PaulCyp@cox.net), February 04, 2003.

Dear Andy,

I thought my meaning would be clear enough - that being divorced does not change anything in terms of a person's marital status, or in terms of the essential nature of one's relationship to the Church. Obviously, going through divorce may bring about interior changes in an individual, just as any other major source of stress may do - losing a spouse or a child to death; bankruptcy or failure of one's business; having one's home burn to the ground; suffering an incapacitating injury or disease; being molested or raped or assaulted. All of these incidents may cause permanent changes in a person. Some people may never be quite the same again. Other people come through such trauma stronger than they were before. If your personal pain is incapacitating, then perhaps you should not take on at this time a responsibility that requires selfless giving - or, perhaps it might be just what you need. In any case, I see no reason to believe that people who have gone through stressful, or even temporarily devastating experiences are thereby unfit to be godparents, or to assume any other position of responsibility they feel ready to assume.

-- Paul (PaulCyp@cox.net), February 04, 2003.