Since it's Valentine's Day, thought I'd ask if any of you have participated in the various Catholic singles sites online, and what you think of them. :-)

-- Christine L :-) (christine_lehman@hotmail.com), February 14, 2003

Answers

bumpity bump :-)

-- Christine L. :-) (christine_lehman@hotmail.com), February 14, 2003.

Christine I dont know what theyre like but as someone who has been *single* for a few years I have a bit of a problem with people putting thenselves out there as much as they do. Id like to find someone of course, but my life is not driven by such worries- I guess Im quite calvanistic when it comes to love!

More people especially women need to become happier and comfortable with themseves and their own company before they go looking for happiness with someone else IMHO. While its natural to want to find a partner the neediness/obsession of some women my age is a bit much (although if a desperate Cindy Crawford lookalike is out there....my email address is below!)

I think maybe my male ego/pride thing might be stopping me doing the adverts and internet forum thing my old fashioned macho mind thinks "such things are for desperate losers...thats not me". Im only fooling myself of course! What are these forums like, have you tried any or reccommend any? Id only be looking and lurking of course ;-).

God Bless

-- shallow bachelor Kiwi (csisherwood@hotmail.com), February 15, 2003.

I was a member of St. Raphael's for about a year. They had a forum which was supposedly moderated; however, it got to the point where it was so obviously UNmoderated that a lot of people (including me) decided, what the heck are we paying money for when we can get the same level of chat & moderation for free?

Which is how you were lucky enough to wind up with me here. ;-)

-- Christine L. :-) (christine_lehman@hotmail.com), February 17, 2003.

LOL Christine.Have you found any other chat forums that are free other than phatmass? Id like to talk with other Catholics about issues facing our Church today and in the future and learn about theology as well but not get caught up in "salvation", NO, Vatican II etc arguments as I fnd them a bit boring having to go over the same ground again and again and again. ANy ideas?

-- Kiwi (csisherwood@hotmail.com), February 18, 2003.

Well, I have to consider myself a fan since I am recently married to a wonderful young lady who I met on Ave Maria Single Cathlolics online almost two years ago. I think that for me it was an excellent way to find my soulmate and wife since it is hard to find good practicing Catholics out there.

carole was in Calgary Canada at teh time and I was in Dallas when we first started talking. The expereience I had on this site was great!

Joe

-- Joseph Carl Biltz (jcbiltz@canoemail.com), February 18, 2003.

Well, congrats, but I also shelled out mega-$$$ for Ave Maria, and have since found that almost ALL the same guys who advertise there are also available via "catholicsingles.com" - a FREE site. I still don't see any benefit to paying for what is essentially a "self service" singles site. :-)

-- Christine L. :-) (christine_lehman@hotmail.com), February 18, 2003.

Plus I should add, Ave Maria's server seems to go down on a regular basis. What are they doing with all my hard-earned cash?? :-0

-- Christine L. :-) (christine_lehman@hotmail.com), February 18, 2003.

...taking your potential dates out to dinner! =)

-- Emerald (emerald1@cox.net), February 18, 2003.

nyuk nyuk, Emerald! Just as I suspected!! ;-)

-- Christine L. :-) (christine_lehman@hotmail.com), February 18, 2003.

I think that there is no substitute for getting to know someone in person, either through work, church, night classes, volunteer work, or clubs/organizations where you can see the same people on a regular basis (so you can form an intelligent opinion of them over time) like hiking groups, Toastmasters, Master Gardeners,etc.

I also feel that the more desperate you seem (this is in general, not directing this at anyone!!!), the more it can unintentionally scare away people. And, often it is when you're not looking so hard that someone nice comes along. Please don't be so anxious to find someone that you abandon all common sense. Just because someone registers with some site doesn't mean they are nice or honest people. Be careful.

To me, anything like personal ads or the internet in some ways can set people up for having their hopes dashed by the very impersonal nature of the medium. They "look good" (in all ways, not just looks) on paper or the computer, but they may or may not have been honest with you.

I saw something on the news the other night about something called the "Eight Minute Date", where you pay $28 (don't know if that includes any screening) and you meet at a restaurant with others, and sit and chat for eight minutes, the bell rings, and you go to the next table. On the expensive side, if you ask me, but at least you are in a public place for the first meeting. I think it started in the Boston area.

-- GT (nospam@nospam.com), February 19, 2003.

Hey GT - what do you think about that new reality show on Fox starting next week, called "Married by America"? That's where we, the viewers, call in and vote on who should marry who --

and the contestants ...

ACTUALLY GET MARRIED based on the vote.

Yes, that's right - yet another example of Fox's total contempt for the sacrament of marriage.

If nothing else, I predict at least 50% of the contestants will wind up here asking us for advice on annulments! ;-)

-- Christine L. ;-) (christine_lehman@hotmail.com), February 19, 2003.

Christine, I probably won't watch that show. At least on Joe Millionaire, he and the women got to know each other a bit. I also wonder if they will be real (legal) weddings. A friend of mine watches the Jerry Springer show every so often, and when people marry, the presider doesn't even say "and by the power vested in me by the state of Illinois (?)" or whatever state that show is produced in, which even religious ministers are required to say, so those marriages are probably not legal for all intents and purposes. They certainly won't be Catholic weddings, and I don't think any minister of any of the mainstream denominations (or of any of the smaller ones either) would agree to participate in such a charade.

-- GT (nospam@nospam.com), February 19, 2003.

I'm relieved to see I'm not the only one here who watched "Joe Millionaire"! (It did have a *reasonably* nice ending, didn't it?)

-- Christine L. :-) (christine_lehman@hotmail.com), February 19, 2003.

At least he chose the one who appeared to be the nicest out of all the women. I thought he would choose Zora (as did others in our family), and we were pleasantly surprised that he did. Even if he hadn't, I don't think she would have been whining about it like the others did.

I was kind of disappointed in the chateau--it should have had some really stately, tall trees near it. *sigh*

-- GT (nospam@nospam.com), February 20, 2003.

So what was the final verdict then?? Were the catholicsingles sites good or bad?? Effective or ineffective fo meeting like minded people and making new friends if nothing else? EC

-- EC (creanailish@hotmail.com), May 12, 2003.