My husband and I were married 5 years ago in a wedding chapel in lake Tahoe, Nv. He was baptised catholic and my biological mother says I was but i have no certificate and it would have occured in germany if she is telling the truth. Iam sure that our marriage is not recognized since we were not married in a catholic church by a priest. is there any way to get our marriage recognized without having to go through an entire new marriage ceremony? Is there a renewal ceremony or something that we can do?Is there anything we can do without going through an entire new wedding?

-- Adrienne M. Wriht (txwright98@aol.com), March 13, 2003

Answers

Adrienne,

I think the most important thing for you now is not to get your marriage recongized by the Church but to seriously turn yourself back to your original faith first. What pleases God the most is not papers (including an official marriage certificate from the Church), but the genuine relationship with Him.

Please first return to God with all your heart and the rest He will take care of for you :)

God blesses you both :))

Theresa

-- Theresa (thienthan70@hotmail.com), March 14, 2003.

Well, as you can see everyone so far has good intentions to help and there is some truth to it all but your question is left unanswered! Yes, of course the relationship with your husband and especially with the Holy Trinity is most important. However, if you would like, there may be a simple answer. A Simple Convalidation may be what you need. Convalidation, meaning, your marriage is valid already so the Church blesses it. If however, there is no proof of your baptism, you can be baptised if you wish. This can be found in church records. The Catholic Church keeps very good records of sacraments! Simply contact the church in Germany. If there is no baptism, a form would be filled out with your local pastor/bishop and baptism occurs. Baptism and convalidation (Christ's blessing)on the same day would be so grace filled. You have the potential for a beautiful combination there. On average, a convalidation should take about 15-20 minutes. You are in my prayers.

-- patrick farley (pfarley@saintmeinrad.edu), March 15, 2003.

Well, as you can see everyone so far has good intentions to help and there is some truth to it all but your question is left unanswered! Yes, of course the relationship with your husband and especially with the Holy Trinity is most important. However, if you would like, there may be a simple answer. A Simple Convalidation may be what you need. Convalidation, meaning, your marriage is valid already so the Church blesses it. If however, there is no proof of your baptism, you can be baptised if you wish. This can be found in church records. The Catholic Church keeps very good records of sacraments! Simply contact the church in Germany. If there is no baptism, a form would be filled out with your local pastor/bishop and baptism occurs. Baptism and convalidation (Christ's blessing)on the same day would be so grace filled. You have the potential for a beautiful combination there. On average, a convalidation should take about 15-20 minutes. You are in my prayers.

Adrienne:

Peace! I agree with Patrick. Additionally, the troublesome issue of your Baptism, non-Baptism is handled quite readily with his suggestion. If they find your certificate...Fabulous! If not, then the Baptism performed now would be considered a "conditional" Baptism, meaning that if you were ever validly Baptised then this is simply a symbolic gesture, but if you were never Baptised, then this is it...the "washing of regeneration" as St. Paul describes it. God's grace to you both!

Peter

-- Peter Hirota (hirotas@cyberhotline.com), March 15, 2003.

Oops! Sorry about the duplication, everyone!

-- Peter Hirota (hirotas@cyberhotline.com), March 15, 2003.

Jmj

Thanks, Peter, for mentioning "conditional Baptism," which was an important element that Patrick omitted.

Patrick, I agree with much that you told Adrienne.
However, this statement of yours is not quite correct: "Convalidation, meaning, your marriage is valid already so the Church blesses it."
Actually, convalidation is required because the union is NOT "valid already." As the word implies, convalidation brings about validity.

Also, Patrick, I'd like to comment on what you told Adrienne about baptism: "If however, there is no proof of your baptism, you can be baptised if you wish."
It would take more than Adrienne's "wish," as she would need to go through the RCIA program to learn the Catholic faith before she could be baptized.

This, therefore, leads me to another statement you made:
"Baptism and convalidation (Christ's blessing) on the same day would be so grace filled."
It is true that this would be very grace-filled, but I would be very much against it, due to the great delay before Baptism could take place (after RCIA). In the meantime, the couple would be living in sin. What is needed, as soon as possible, is this:
(1) Sacrament of Reconciliation for the man Adrienne loves.
(2) Convalidation on the same day as that Reconciliation. [Then the couple will be husband and wife -- in a mixed marriage, if Adrienne really was never baptized.
(3) Search for Adrienne's baptismal record overseas.
(4) RCIA for Adrienne if she needs (and wishes) to be conditionally baptized ... OR ... RCIA or adult education in the faith for Adrienne if she was baptized and wishes to become an informed, practicing Catholic.

God bless you.
John
PS to Adrienne: Please ignore what Bob Hennessy told you. He is not Catholic and does not know the facts.

-- J. F. Gecik (jfgecik@hotmail.com), March 16, 2003.

Oops! I need to correct myself. I wrote:
"As the word implies, convalidation brings about validity."
Actually, convalidation does not "bring about" validity. Rather, convalidateion means that the Church now presumes the validity of the union. [A tribunal's subsequent nullity process could determine that the union was invalid, despite the convalidation.]
Prior to convalidation, the Church assumes the INvalidity of the union.
I'm sorry if that is all "Greek" to you, Adrienne. Please don't let it trouble you. It's not terribly important to you right now.

JFG

-- J. F. Gecik (jfgecik@hotmail.com), March 16, 2003.