I am a Student at Sacramento City College doing a group project based on Domestic Violence. We are trying to educate others about Domestic Violence that will be effective and longlasting. Therefore, we would love to arrange and interview with someone who has been in a serious Domestic Violence situation for a video documentary or consent to use their story. Hopefully, our efforts can change the lives of many in difficult situations. We strongly believe Domestic Violence is a serious social problem and would like to do something in the efforts of reducing it. We hope a brave person with courage will be able to help us. Thank you for taking your time out to read this.

-- Anonymous, March 19, 2003

Answers

I have been with my husband for 26-1/2 years. We have been married this year for 25 years in July. He has turned 43 this year already, and I will in July. He was my first and only sex partner also. I am very motivated, I truly believe cute, as I am finally this year, now he to bring me down again, believe in myself, after being highly abused all my life, even when concieved. I am a very spiritual person and get many visions. I write many journals on a minute basis. I have taken care of this man to the extent that not many wood do these days, as I don't give up. My mission is not to leave this man to anger to the rest of the world, and show him real peace in a house I found six (6) years and literally on my own with my money while taking care of him being house, bed ridden due to a back injury with no workmans comp insurance, he is self employed, and working out, trying to open my own holistic fitness center, along with studying and raising our son whom now is 19-1/2 and runs a construction crew for his daddy, my husband, whom was a very quiet loving man, now that I have taken care of him, and gone completely through my money, made a fortress out of just a house that no one ever took care of, literally a fortress, lock down, pool, video cameras that come on every tv, even in closets, study non-stop work non-stop, pay his truck payment he saw fit to buy with a trailer for 7500.00 instead of paying bills for the month he said he would, which I did once again, a man that never once opened an envelope, piece of mail, or even so much as checked the mail, I have literally done it all, no one person could or would do the work I have done and accomplised on a seconds notice, literally, with evidence, and witnesses, and I am very organized with his work, and everyone else's they all come to me for help. Now he has turned very violent and very very emotionally abusive, literally, ever name in the book every minute of the day/night that he can possible speak to me, along with beating me up literally and trying to strangle me only to tell me his is now going to kill me, I am a cunt literally every minute, but totally still handle everything he has screwed up, only to go around on his payday, sub contract money, runs a construction, sub contract business, to try to take me out of my own life, or out of our own lives, literally, I even have been locked out of my own home, I have made and bought, etc. and slept in my car, paid for cash many years ago, in the driveway, while he watched from the bedroom at all hours of the night on the cameras I installed on the alarm system, twice, once on my birthday last year. he has come back in our home made of love from me to beat my left wrist in as hard as he could with his steel toed boots on to get the mortgage money as he is having very sever paranoia attacks, about me, his wife that has given her all, and more than all, to this man, to take the mortgage money, he said I would spend it, yet now he did not pay it, nor does anyone even know this man, including the contract I am not even on, GMAC, they call me, and not even pay the mortgage so now of course we are in foreclosure, and he has got out of bed at 3:00 am when I went to the bathroom to beat his fist in my head a 100 times as I was ill with a severe headache, pull me off the toliet, on my period, not even to wipe, etc and proceeds to beat me and then tells me he is now going to kill me while in a strangle hold on the bathroom floor 3:00 am, Sunday morning-Saturday night. He has pulled the metal shower curtain rod down and chased me through my home made of love for us to retire in together and beat the hell out of me, got me on the tile floor I paid for and we installed in love, and beat the hell out of me and my purse, and literally tore this home up, all the fixtures, etc. the list goes on and go and on and on, and today just another episode this morning, now he has taken the dog, now he is of course accusing me of what he is doing, and I have a letter from him this morning telling me I am sick, sick, sick and need a doctor, and he would in no way say or do anything to me, and signed yours, no love..... I am very very well loved by others, and attracted others like a magnet, I am not trying to be conceited, however, I am now finally able to realize that I am very popular and love to help others as everyone knows this, and all the millions of people I help, literally, intensly, have all screwed me, and now the one person I truly firmly believed would be my protector, cherish me, honor me, worship me from the lock down I installed on this home, to lock out all that nonsense to come in to just us, and literally enjoy our lives of fun, love, hugging, cooking , sex, lots of kinky things, bills together, pool, 9' fence, our garden, lanai, I have done it all for all to grow together in, now what????? I am lost, confused, and find myself in a daze, knowing to go file against him, than a divorce but cannot seem to get with the program, I want to help him, and believe have tried with all kinds of research for us to do together, and Blain Nelsons abuse pages, folders of stuff, men going through menapause, I have many certifications, and studies in helping others from within....Spirit Within the Soul, he is like the devil has taken over him, or some spaceoid, not of human, not my Jamie, James is his name, we call him Jamie, everyone calls him dad, or pops everyone, and now we literally everyone and especially me are very confused, upset and deeply I am truly never thought I would ever experience pain so deep, I was abused all my life, but being on this end of life, a beautiful Angel Virgin wife only to him, and to always do everything, clean everything, fix everything, look beatiful on my own, help everyone, always showing love, always trying to come up with new ideas every night to take care of my man whom works hard all day, only to want to open a business to help others as God as said to do, to only want to retire my man from construction, to buy him a boat to relax and fish, while in my 43 year old life, never once ever getting a rest yet, work her ass off to retire her man, that has had a rest and a big ass break, what is up with this....I need severe help immediately....guidance, please if you have any.....I never once have gone to the emergency room, I have never once called the police and believe me I could have many many many times, I had to put my elbow back into place myself by hitting it really hard as he threw a metal chair with rollers at me in the bed naked at 3:00 am and the roller hit my elbow knocing it out of place, that was 4 weeks ago.....Thank you.....I am using DSL service through Verizon, as he had cable turned off and I was using Roadrunner through cable, so I just use a yahoo account, so email me there if you would like to speak with me....thank you, this go on further than this, believe me, this story gets very very deep......Spirit Within the Soul....Peace Out.....

-- Anonymous, April 11, 2003

I WAS A FORMER MODEL. I WORKED FOR YEARS AS A MAKEUP ARTIST. I WAS NEVER REALLY BLESSED WITH SELF ESTEEM. SO I THINK FOR P.IT WAS EASY TO TAKE OVER MY LIFE. WE MET THROUGH A FRIEND. HE OWNED A BUSINESS, WAS NICE LOOKING,VERY ATTENTIVE,AND PRESENTED HIMSELF LIKE PRINCE CHARMING. I MOVED I HE UNRAVELED SLOWLY. I HAD JUST LEFT MY PLACE. I WORKED FOR HIM.(OF COURSE HE OWNED ME).AT FIRST IT WAS GREAT TRIPS ON THE MOTORCYLE TO DAYTONA AND FLORIDA KEYS. THEN HE STARTED TELLING MY FRIENDS ALL WERE USERS AND NO MORE CALLS. VISITS SOUTH TO SEE MY PARENTS WERE HORRIBLE .HE WOULD FORCE ME FROM MY PARENTS.WHICH I RATHER DO THAN GET YELLED AT FOR HOURS (HIS USUAL MENTAL ABUSE SOAPBOX). THEN I HAD TO ONLY SHOP WITH HIM TRY ON CLOTHES HE PICKED.I COULD NOT EVEEN PICK OUT MY OWN GROCERIES. THE HITTING STARTED SLOWLY. FIRST PUSHING,KICKING,AND THE SLAPPING CHOKING AND PUNCHING FOLLOWED .HE WOULD LITERALLY GO OFF LIKE A BEAST . TEAR UP THE WHOLE HOUSE.BREAK CLOSET DOORS.GRANFATHER CLOCKS COUCHES TABLES . NAME IT HE BROKE IT. I WAS MOUSY YET TOLD I DRESSED LIKE A WHORE. ACTED LIKE A WHORE. MY FRIENDS FEARED HIM HE THRETENED EVERYONE DEAR TO ME. THE DAY I LEFT. HIS BROTHER TALKED TO ME. HE SAID HE BEAT HIS X-WIFE FOR14 YEARS. HE HAD TONS OF AFFAIRS ON HER UNTIL HE FELL FOR ONE. HE LEFT HIS WIFE. WEENT TO S AND PARTIED CONSTANTLY. I WANTED TO BE HER I WAS JEALOUS. BECAUSE HE WAS IN LOVE WITH HER. THOUGH HE LIED AND SAID NO. HE BEAT HER TO. HIS OWN MOTHER HAS NIGHTMARES OF HIM SHOOTING AND KILLING HER. HE HAS NO CONTACT WITH HIS KIDS. HIS DECISION. HE REFUSES TO ATTEND ANGER MANGEMENT. I AM ONLY OUT A MONTH.I HAVE ANGER,CONFUSION(WHAT WASS WRONG HE COULD NOT LOVE ME). I HAVE NIGHTMARES. HEE WOULD SLEEP WITH PROSTITUTES AND THIS VERY UNKEMPT MARRIED PARTY LADY. ON DAYS I WOULLD LEAVE HIM. I HAVE ALOT TO FIND IN ME .ONE DAY AT ATIME. HE WAS PUT IN JAIL FOR HITTING MEE. I COULDN'T SHOW TOO TESTIFY. IFEARED HIS WRATH TOWARDS MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS .HE IS DIABOLICAL. MY STORY\ FINDING A NEW ONE FOR ME. HOPE THIS HELPS SOME LISA PATTEN FORMER DOMESTIC VIOLENCE VICTIM BECOMING A SURVIVOR

-- Anonymous, June 08, 2003

I would love to offer information, but would need it to be dicreet at this time. I a RN continuing to recover, but also advocating for domestic vilolence victims. Please contact me the the email listed. I would have to be suree every safety and legal aspect is covered. I will have as story for you.

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2003