Dear Friends,

I have only lurked here of late, and even then have not done much lurking. It seems that whenever I visit this forum, I feel a great deal of discouragment and am very disheartened. My heart always feels so heavy after I've been here, and this forum has troubled me for many months now. I supported (and still do) the moderator, and the attempts that he made to bring this forum to a better place with the rules and guidelines that he set up, and the decisions he made and why he made them. So many have left the forum, and maybe even now the moderator has been driven away also, but I still believe that he was right.

My heart is heavy because I continue to read the threads and see attacks on each other, not just by those who obviously do not follow Jesus, but also by professing Catholic Christians. The attacks, subtle and blatent make me sick. Literally. I come away from the forum feeling sad, stressed, and it is literally contributing to my health.

Please know that there are people, both regulars and newcomers that are not participating in this, and truly exhibit Christ's love. Anna, you specifically are a true breath of fresh air!

With this war, I have been thinking much about my priorities, for myself and for my family. I cannot do much about the war, except pray of course, but I can do much about my own home. As the song says, "Let peace begin with me." In order to help create peace in my home, I need to have peace within myself, and I do not have that here in this forum. I wish you all well, and I am glad for those who can still participate here and feel good about it. I cannot. Some may say that Satan has won because I have been driven from the forum, but I say that he has not won, because my children and my husband will have a better wife and mom who is not so stressed out about some forum, and I can better serve them. I will be better able to bring peace to my home.

God's peace and blessings to you all. My prayers are with you.

Carolyn

I should say that I have posted a message on two threads. I don't mean to just post and run, but if anyone wishs to respond to me, I will be happy to read and respond to email. Thank you

-- Carolyn (ck_sunshine@hotmail.com), March 21, 2003

Answers

Carolyn, I can sympathise with your views. However, although we are all made in the image and likeness of God, we are susceptible to human frailties. We all make mistakes. We aren't all born ready for Heaven Carolyn. It is a learning process, the Holy Spirit has His work cut out for Himself more in some individuals than in others.

Not only is Anna a breath of fresh air here, but people like you are as well. I wish more people of your conviction would speak up and contribute to the forum. We all would be better off for it.

Please don't go! Take a break for awhile if you must, but promise yourself to return in due course. This forum needs people like you and in sticking it out, the forum is made better for it.

Since I noticed your thread needed to be “bumped” so that others will see it, I thought I’d add my two cents, for what it’s worth.

-- Ed Lauzon (grader@accglobal.net), March 21, 2003.

Carolyn, I was about to say something very similar when I saw your post.

You spoke in my name.

This forum is doing me more bad than good. My priorities are not being properly ordered.

“My heart is heavy because I continue to read the threads and see attacks on each other, not just by those who obviously do not follow Jesus, but also by professing Catholic Christians. The attacks, subtle and blatent make me sick. Literally. I come away from the forum feeling sad, stressed, and it is literally contributing to my health. “

I am aware I am one of those people. However, the overall heavy environment (to which I have contributed) is causing to me the same things you referred to (heavy heart, feeling sick, sadness, stress etc.)

“Please know that there are people, both regulars and newcomers that are not participating in this, and truly exhibit Christ's love. Anna, you specifically are a true breath of fresh air! “

You are correct, and you are another of those people.

As I said, I was about to post something like that. I will quit from the forum, at least for a while. It is doing me no good and obviously my participation is doing no good to it as well.

Please forgive me for contributing to this bad atmosphere.

God bless you all and take care.

-- Atila (me@somewhere.com), March 21, 2003.

A final remark. We who are adept to intellectual warfare (me and others here) should always remind that: (1) Arguments very rarely change one’s mind (let alone one’s heart); only God’s Grace may do that; charity and good example have always been the supreme weapons of evangelization; (2) When we die, our Judgment will not be like an end-term test in school, in which God will ask us doctrinal questions and, if we get 7 out of 10, we go to heaven, otherwise to hell. Our “Christianity” is not measured by how many canons or CCC paragraphs we know by heart. Our “saint-o-meter” is not gauged in how much scholastic knowledge we have. Even less by how many argument battles we “win”. We will be judged by our Charity. And many that “spoke in the name of God” will hear from him: “I don’t know you!” These are things I am all too prone to forget day after day. I’m Sorry.

-- Atila (me@somewhere.com), March 21, 2003.

Trying again:

A final remark.

We who are adept to intellectual warfare (me and others here) should always remind that:

(1) Arguments very rarely change one’s mind (let alone one’s heart); only God’s Grace may do that; charity and good example have always been the supreme weapons of evangelization;

(2) When we die, our Judgment will not be like an end-term test in school, in which God will ask us doctrinal questions and, if we get 7 out of 10, we go to heaven, otherwise to hell. Our “Christianity” is not measured by how many canons or CCC paragraphs we know by heart. Our “saint-o-meter” is not gauged in how much scholastic knowledge we have. Even less by how many argument battles we “win”. We will be judged by our Charity. And many that “spoke in the name of God” will hear from him: “I don’t know you!”

These are things I am all too prone to forget day after day.

I’m Sorry.

-- Atila (me@somewhere.com), March 21, 2003.

Yeah, I'm sorry too, for all my failures in the forum.

-- Emerald (emerald1@cox.net), March 21, 2003.

I am glad that others welcome you to this forum. I do too. One should be careful not to upset the people here too much. It is a conservative Catholic forum. Since I have been told to behave, and have tried to do so, I am passing this on. Sean

-- Sean Cleary (seanearlyaug@juno.com), March 21, 2003.

I popped back in here for a few minutes to post a reply to an email that I received earlier today. Then I saw the moderator's message that told of his problems, and that he had been in the ICU. Then I came over to this thread because I wanted to say that the moderator had not been driven away, but rather has been having health problems (so maybe being driven away would have been the better alternative?)

THEN I was overwhelmed everyone's kind words here!

Ed, I most certainly understand about human frailties, and I truly believe that the Holy Spirit has a TON of work to do on me. Just ask my family. Anyway, I hope that it didn't come across as I'm passing judgement on the forum and those participating. The question for me came down to "where does God want my energy and time to go?". I believe that is God's desire and will that my time and energy must go towards my vocations of wife and mother at this time. Being a participant, and even a lurker, on the forum with its attacks both from within and from without, has considerably drained me of both time and energy that rightfully belong to my husband and children. I will promise this though, I will continue to pray about it, and come back when my priorities will allow it. Thank you so much for your kind words.

You guys are so nice to say I've been like Anna. I really am humbled.

I know that in the time I've been here on the board (what's it been now, 2+ years?), I've made so many mistakes on this board.

Atila, it is comforting to me in a way to know that others feel the same way I do. I don't feel anyone owes ME an apology here, ok? Same to you Emerald. If anything, would you just say a prayer that I can be submissive to God's will for my life and be a good wife and mom?

Oh and Atila those are two very good points you made!

Thank you Sean for your encouragement, I appreciate it.

Everyone I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to judge anyone --ok the tears are going here--, it's just that I only have so bandwidth. I realized that I just couldn't let the forum continue to be such a drain in my life. You know something though? Sometimes it feels like it might actually be easier to stay on the board and fight the good battle (and I pray for those of you who can and do), rather than fight the spiritual battles at home. It's just that the fight for my children's spiritual well-being is the more important battle, and so is my marriage, and I just don't have the energy and resources to do it all.

I'm sorry, I gotta go,

God bless you all

Carolyn

-- Carolyn (ck_sunshine@hotmail.com), March 21, 2003.

Hey Carolyn. You got my vote.

You know what, I'm so clueless that I don't even know what to apologize for, exactly... lol!

I think I understand how you feel. I don't know what's the right thing to do half the time; press forward with a battle or drop it in the name of charity.

We are formed in the darkness of Mary's womb, the Church; we die with Christ.

-- Emerald (emerald1@cox.net), March 21, 2003.

Are you from Staten Island?

-- Joe Birger (JoeBir66@ever.net), March 23, 2003.