Let me start off by saying sorry to everyone in our Roman Catholic faith family...I let this stuff linger in my mind for 9 days without telling anyone other than my brothers and those of you who have read my previous posting.... Just to fill everyone in who knows about my situation....Well I finally got a chance to talk to clergy about the priest who violated me...I went to another church like someone suggested me to do...I told this other priest at another Catholic Church in the confessional what happend to me....I thought it best to tell him there since I could get all the information on what to do next and I could tell him everything without worrying about him saying anything. It was a 25 minute confession.....I believe in our faith 100%, so of course I believe in the Seal of confession...He suggested that I stay away from the violating priest, and that if I am to go near this priest, to tell the violating priest that I have told another priest about what he did to me and that he is going to be removed if he doesnt come clean on his own...The priest at the other church is going to get intouch with an attorney who is going to give me my options on what to do....But like I said in my previous posting..."I will NOT take this priest to court...I will not seek any money from him or the Catholic church for his mistake" I forgive him...I mean after all, isnt that what we as catholics preach, "Forgive those who trespass against us?" Well I believe in that.......So as for me, I am not going to go to my usual attended church on Sunday, I am going to go where I did my confession today....I felt so guilty all week about keeping quiet about all this, I even sat and cried in the church when everyone left the church after Bishop Cordelione left last Sunday.....I said all this to the priest in the confessional and he said that I did not do anything wrong, I was beating myself up for someone elses sin....Well, some of you told me that too, and I thank you....Well thanks again to all of you for your support and prayers...I will continue to keep you all posted on how everything goes with me...Thanks and God Bless

-- Jacob (Flake777@hotmail.com), May 24, 2003

Answers

Well done Jacob, it took great courage to speak out about your experience. You're right, of course, that forgiveness of other people's wrongdoing against us is necessary for us to in turn receive forgiveness for our own sins. Jesus clearly taught us this when he taught the Lord's Prayer to the Apostles. You're displaying true Christianity that I'm sure many of us could learn from! Now, you say you don't want to seek money from a court, and that's commendable. Money is irrelevant to what happened, and can change nothing. That's entirely your choice to make, as is whether you wish to proceed with legal proceedings regarding the accusations of sexual assault. If this act had been perpetrated against a minor then of course that would have been a different matter entirely; little children cannot make that decision for themselves, adults have to protect them.

It sounds like this 'new' priest at the other parish is being helpful to you. I suggest that you continue attending Mass there. He's right that it's not your fault that someone else touched you in an unwanted sexual manner. If ever anyone does something like that you don't like then of course you tell them NO, don't let anyone do anything to you that you feel bad about.

It's wrong for anyone, whether priest, religious or lay person, to perpetrate an unwanted sexual act such as this against another human being, whether that human being be male or female. If the victim is a child or a person with limited mental capabilities then that compounds the act.

Jacob, once again, keep going to the other parish, keep receiving your sacraments and keep talking with the 'new' priest should you need further help. He can maybe advise you on the best way forward.

Remember that Jesus loves you perfectly Jacob,

God bless you

Sara

-- Sara (sara_catholic_forum@yahoo.co.uk), May 25, 2003.

jacob,

youve done wonderfully. and i admire the strong devotion with which you excercise your faith. well done.

-- paul (dontsendmemail@notanaddress.com), May 26, 2003.

Hi Jacob, I've been out of town (and still am) but, using the hotel guest computer, I thought I'd hop online a bit and read how you're doing. I'm so glad that you've been led to a good priest who will guide you through this. You're in my prayers, little brother! (((hugs))) Pax Christi.

-- Anna <>< (flower@youknow.com), May 29, 2003.