Was this approved by the Vatican?

http://www.bayarea.com/mld/mercurynews/news/local/6661798.htm

This has to to with a Catholic church in San Jose, CA that decided to hold a "mass" wedding for couples who "couldn't afford" a "proper" i.e. expensive one.

Weddings don't have to cost a fortune, and I think it really cheapens the marriage ceremony to do it like this with so many other people (like the way baptisms are performed today).

Any comments?

-- GT (nospam@nospam.com), September 01, 2003

Answers

I am unsure about this particular marriage. I have seen very poor people who cannot afford anything in a marriage. Many kindhearted people have come forward, offering money to fulfill their dreams, and some poor people get together, doing a community marriage. I have seen many, and seent the joy of the people attending, and the joy of the people who marry. It does not happen regualry though. I did not spot anything that reduces the holiness of marriage there, I only saw the joy and the peace there, and we all know God roams around the poor, always.

On the contrary, in the "proper" weddings which do cost a lot, all I see is everything, but God. Everything is a show, everything important is some party, the food and all the commotion. It is just so clear when we compare one done in the so called "proper" marriage, and one done without willfully forgetting God. It would be tempting to say God is present in the "improper" wedding, and absent from the "show" marriages. Since it is a holy sacrament, he will not do anything like that, but it is not right to say it cheapens the marriage ceremony to do it like that. Normally someone sponsers the event, and not one, but sever families are made that day, which is more than a wonderful thing. To a normal eye, this would seem to cheapen their value since it may seem like individual people are unable to "shine" infront of others, but that is not the case. They do not care about the flashy things. They got their family, and they have their happiness. I do not see anything against the bible or the church teachings there. Just like I said, I only see things against the teachings done in the "proper" was as you mentioned. I could make a list, but it does not matter. So even though I have not read the vatican's state on this, by my own experience, I am 100% sure the vatican not only does not oppose it, but supports it with open hands. It is a hard decision to make for the people who marry in a community, because they don't get "proper" attention, but I admire their courage, and their humility. All they want is a loving family, and they don't want to show off. I am certain that their marriages will last a lot longer, than those who just show off.

What cheapens the ceremony and insults it, is to think of that with ridicule. Nothing compares to the joy of the people who got their family that day. There are people who cannot afford anything, and that is a reality. To a lot of people, a cheap wedding itself costs a fortune.

So the question is, why shouldn't the church do something about people who cannot afford to marry in "God's presence"? That, I don't know. Perhaps, money has to be spent in sever different areas and this one can be ignored. I do not know about all the flashy things done in a catholic marriage and why it seems like a necessity, but most of the catholic marriages that I have seen do not have any of that.

I am talking about marriages done inside a church. I too believe, that the holy sacrament should be done inside a church. In circumstances where there is not enough space inside, or certain other problems, there wouldn't be any problem as far as I know. Even holy masses are done that way.

-- Abraham T (lijothengil@yahoo.com), September 01, 2003.

GT,

After reading the article and considering the "pros and cons," I came down in favor of the ceremony that was held. The two points that swayed me more than any others are:

1. These were "shacked-up" couples that needed to get out of mortal sin, and some (many?) probably would not have done so if they had been required to go through more formal, separate ceremonies (even if inexpensively). I suspect that some found the support to take this step in knowing that they were not doing it alone.

2. There is a 2,000-year tradition of communal sacramental celebrations. Consider ... the thousands baptized on the first Pentecost, people receiving the First Communion and Confirmation in large groups, our own reception of the Holy Eucharist with others at Mass, groups of people being anointed together (even by the pope in visits to hospitals), ordination of several deacons, priests, or bishops in the same ceremony, even rare cases of communal Penance. It is not necessary for Marriage to be an exception.

God bless you.
John

-- J. F. Gecik (jfgecik@hotmail.com), September 01, 2003.

I also did not see any mention of anyone going through Pre-Cana, and it sounded almost to me like the "tax amnesty" days you see every so often. I wonder if they looked the other way on divorced people marrying as well....

My point about the expense is that it is apparently okay if you're really poor to have a communal wedding, but if you just were more frugal by nature and ASKED to do it cheaply this way would you have been allowed to? Sounds like no, according to the article.

-- GT (nospam@nospam.com), September 01, 2003.

GT, you wrote: "I also did not see any mention of anyone going through Pre-Cana, and it sounded almost to me like the 'tax amnesty' days you see every so often. I wonder if they looked the other way on divorced people marrying as well."

I would agree with you on these points, if they were a reality. In answering last time, I was being very optimistic and assuming that there was proper preparation done (both "Pre-Cana" and nullity declarations). The article is in a secular newspaper, which is less likely to care about mentioning things like that.

God bless you.
John

-- J. F. Gecik (jfgecik@hotmail.com), September 02, 2003.

Hi John,

What lead me to believe that people were not required to go through the classes were some of the interviews, where at least one person was quoted as saying something to the effect of "well, we had been living together anyway, and we had children together, and wanted to make it legal."

Somehow I can't see someone saying that and just be able to get married in any other Catholic church. It sounded awfully easy, that's all.

-- GT (nospam@nospam.com), September 03, 2003.