Hi,

I have Asperger Syndrome and I have two sons (one 4 and one 10 months). The eldest has Special Educational Needs (probably AS but not yet diagnosed) and my younger son has spina bifida occulta and a scholiosis. I am having trouble coping with my elder son's statementing process and my younger son's medical treatment because the professionals involved all seem to have failed to consider the possibiliy of a parent of a disabled child might have disabilities themselves.

Has anyone else experienced/ overcome this phenomenon ? Particularly anyone with AS ?

-- Anonymous, September 11, 2003

Answers

Hi, yes I have HFA and a 'LF' ASD child. Be careful and get much professional support outside of your council/local authority. A lot of it and as soon as you can. It is quite a lottery out there as to who gets to keep the children if the SS are not on your side (and sometimes they appear to be when they are not) check www.legalsurvival.co.uk and never give anyone a reason to think you cannot be reasonable at all times. Good luck.

-- Anonymous, November 09, 2003

It seems to me that Autistic spectrum parents are likely to be better parents of Autistic spectrum kids than normal parents, because they know what it's like. Not that normal parents can't be good parents to autistic kids, but it's more work to relate to autistic kids if you're not autistic yourself.

-- Anonymous, February 10, 2004

I have four children, 3 boys, 8, 15 and 17 and 1 girl aged 12. The 3 boys all have A.D.H.D, my husband is a quadriplegic part-time wheelchair user, as he has some mobility and I myself suffer from depression, possibly aggravated by our situation. We have no family support at all, but as my husband's family live in the area, it's still considered by Social Services etc as 'support available' so consequently we can't get any kind of practical help. I understand wholeheartedly that no-one imagines that there could be two or three different cases of 'special needs' in one family. Although none of us suffer from A.S. I do sympathise, at one stage it was a possible diagnosis for my youngest child. I feel a lot of the time that I am not mentally or emotionally strong enough to cope and my husband isn't physically strong enough, we muddle through even when things seem quite hopeless. Maybe if more organisations worked together people like you and I could have the support we need. Social Services are probably the worst offenders for not being able to see 'The Big Picture' as it were. They could arrange for my husband to go away on holiday to have a break for himself, he doesn't want to go away from us etc., it doesn't help us as a family. Anyway - hope you gain some solace from the fact there are more of us out here who aren't being listened to/catered for - Take care.

-- Anonymous, August 02, 2004