while my boyfriend is catholic, i was baptized years ago in the baptist church, but have since become non-denominational. since i have very little experience with the catholic church, i am confused about whether or not it's a necessity for me to convert to catholicism if we are to get married in the future. is it enough for me to have been baptized in order for us to marry in the catholic church and have it recognized by the church? i know that if we were to marry outside of the church, it would be seen as living in sin and he could no longer take communion (this is how it has been explained to me, anyway). i'd like to know more about the steps that need to be taken in order for our future marriage to be respected by the catholic church. converting is not something i have much interest in, but i am willing to do more research if necessary. thanks for your help.

-- m. (mikela1717@yahoo.com), October 28, 2003

Answers

No, it is not necessary for you to convert in order to marry your Catholic boyfriend in the Catholic Church. Such "mixed marriages" are quite common. Your openness to and support of his faith are admirable. Such mutual respect and concern forms a strong base for marriage.

-- Paul M. (PaulCyp@cox.net), October 28, 2003.

mikela,

while it is possible to be validly married outside of the church, this would require a dispensation and a certificate of validity, or at the very least a priest co presiding at the ceremony if you could find one.

HOWEVER, hands down the surest way to get a valid marraige is to be married in the church by a faithful priest following the proper forms. You do not need to be catholic to marry a catholic, but you will be asked to pledge your support for the faith of your spouse and not to hinder his or your childrens spiritual growth (should they choose that path). this is the hard part: you are basically pledging that you will not try to convert your husband away, and that you wont speak negatively of the church in front of your children, nor forbid them from attending mass.

It sounds, however, like you have the determination to make this work out. your dedication is quite admirable. also, it seems like you are open to the possibility of becoming a catholic. although this only has mild interest to you, i ask that if you have any questions you would address them so that we can help you to understand our beliefs more fully. this will aid in understanding your husbands beliefs as well. remember, keep your heart open. conversion may take on a new light. and also, expect a bit of salt along with the sweetness of your marraige. relationships are HARD WORK. just as salt lends depth and flavor to a cake, so weathering some storms lends devotion and power to a marraige.

-- paul h (dontSendMeMail@notAnAddress.com), October 28, 2003.

good news that i am not required to convert to catholicism unless i choose to at a later point in time - for the right reasons. besides pledging my support of his religious preferences and my willingness to be open to bringing up any future children with the option of being catholic, could anyone provide me with the details of what we would have to do if we did choose to get married inside the catholic church - i.e. classes taken, special vows, providing baptismal certificates, etc.? thank you very much for your time in helping me sort this out.

-- m. (mikela1717@yahoo.com), October 28, 2003.